I would have said that claiming "she has 3 young children and is not likely to be in paid work for a number of years" is contravening the sex discrimination act as it's doubtful they would try claiming that if it was a male.(posted 7737 days ago)Also in a case (details somewhere on this site) it can be classed as reasonable to pay any arrears over the remaining term of the mortgage, so even if the term left is only 10 years that's only £25 a month to clear £3k arrears.