By exposing for the shadows you guarentee detail in the dark areas, but you are right you are in overexposing the highlights.(posted 9246 days ago)Just reduce the developement.
The shadow areas, having fewer grains of exopsed silver, don't take too much time to be fully developed. They develope early on and basically finish and sit around. The more exposed areas have a larger volume of exposed silver to be developed. They need extra time to develope to completion. Reduce the time in the developer and the less volume of exposed silver gets built up. Thus less highlight density and contrast. Usual amount is -20% for a one stop reduction, -15% for T grain films. When in doubt overexpose and underdevelope !
Camera exposure for the shadows. Develope (to control) the highlights.