Y Zero K (humor)

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I received this today in an email:

Translated from latin scroll dated 2BC

Dear Cassius:

Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left. I don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left it to us to sort it all out at this last minute.

I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a fortune for doing nothing useful. Surely we will not have to throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will make yet another fortune out of this I suppose.

The money lenders are paranoid of course! They have been told that all usury rates will invert and they will have to pay their clients to take out loans. Its an ill wind ......

As for myself, I just can't see the sand in an hourglass flowing upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men in the East who have been working on the problem, but unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over.

I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to chariots and possible loss of life.

Some say the world will cease to exist at the moment of transition. Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this blasted Y zero K problem. I will send a parchment to you if anything further develops.

If you have any ideas please let me know,

Plutonius

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), April 08, 1999

Answers

LOVE IT!! We need some humor.

-- winna (??@??.com), April 08, 1999.

More humor from my IT professional sister who loves to bulk email...but thought I'd post it here rather than add another thread:

...here's "Deep Thoughts" by Dennis Miller.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the "Self-help" section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

And whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide... is it

considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?

Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?

Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?

Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?

Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), April 09, 1999.


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