OT: Looks like we've evolved as much as we're going to....greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread |
maybe we are an ignorant species..........some of these are hilarious and all are true......Yikes!!Subject: Read the Label
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. (The big one or the little one?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (have a lobotomy recently?)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief!)
-- b (b@b.b), May 14, 1999
;p Thanks for the laugh, b.
-- Wanda (lonevoice@mailexcite.com), May 14, 1999.
OK, I surrender! First time I've laughed out loud for some months!(I have smiled a few times, though.)
And the winnah!!! -- "Do not turn upside down."
(If all this reflects worldwide corporate management generally we're way deeper in the swamp than I ever imagined.)
-- Tom Carey (tomcarey@mindspring.com), May 15, 1999.
Thanks, b. Belly rumblers
-- h (h@h.h), May 15, 1999.
LOL good ones!Found on the floor of the men's room: A demolished paper-towel dispenser.
Noted, the instructions printed on it: "Pull down, tear up."
-- Debbie (dbspence@usa.net), May 15, 1999.
Stop it! Stop it! Too much! ROTFLMAO!>Whew!<
-- Elbow Grease (Elbow_Grease@AutoShop.com), May 15, 1999.
Oh, baby! I laughed until I cried, & then read the list again! It's like ridin' a good rollercoaster, ya gotta hop right back in line to do it again!Thank you, b. You have provided a great public service. May your next incarnation find you healthy, wealthy, wise, & good-lookin' too!
-- Bingo1 (howe9@pop.shentel.net), May 15, 1999.
this is great. actually- maybe we need a "stupid jokes" post every few days- just to keep our sense of humor tuned up......
-- anita (hillsidefarm@drbs.com), May 15, 1999.
Just about sprayed coffee on the keyboard!Thanks!
;-D
Diane
-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 15, 1999.