A Polly has turned G&D...preparing for the worst

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In reading some posts in this delightful forum, I've been concerned about some items that have been overlooked by the government.

I've called around to different agencies, but no one will answer me. Since I can not get an answer, I have to assume the worst.

My house is made of wood. Has anybody done Y2k testing on wood? Fire, okay. It fails miserably (so I'm making my bomb shelter out of a more stable material, Strontium232).

I've asked Home Depot, Lowes, but I think they are covering something up, because they are only telling me what they want me to hear.

I'm beginning to get very worried about the whole thing.

What should I do?

-- gonzoj (gonzo@muppet.com), June 09, 1999

Answers

I dunno. Swallowing cycanide sounds like your best course....

-- Dennis (djolson@pressenter.com), June 09, 1999.

Oops! CYANIDE. Damn rented fingers.

-- Dennis (djolson@pressenter.com), June 09, 1999.

You should cling dearly onto that rapier wit and humor you have Gonzo, I think you might be needing it.

-- (Idon'tknow@doyouknow.com), June 09, 1999.

Gonzo, it is my understanding that you must rip out several 2x4s from each of the walls and count the rings in the ends. If the wood is less than 1 year old, your house will survive y2k. If it is more than 25 years old, ditto. Of course then you must put the 2x4s back exactly as they were or you stand a chance of introducing new problems. (Usually about 4-5% of the time). Oh, make sure the new nails are y2k compliant. This means they MUST be of US manufacture since most of the other countries have already admitted that their products are not yet compliant.

Of course, if your house was wired by Gates Electric anytime within the last 15 years, you're doomed anyway.

-- Lobo (atthelair@yahoo.com), June 09, 1999.


gonzoj:

You could treat your wooden sanctuary with cyanide to kill termites and beavers. And don't smoke in bed.

-- Randolph (dinosaur@williams-net.com), June 09, 1999.



Lobo: LOL

-- a (a@a.a), June 09, 1999.

Polly,I believe your brain has failed remediation,mission critical failure,mission critical failure,miss,mmmmmisssiiion ffffaailuuurr.

-- Tony C. (yo7@bellsouth.net), June 10, 1999.

Daisy, D-a-i-s-y, g--i--v--e m---e y----o----u----r a-----n-----s----- w-----e-----r t------o------o

-- (Hal@9000.heuristic), June 10, 1999.

I love it!

-- Kristi (securx@succeed.net), June 10, 1999.

Thanks you all for your kind and thoughtfull answers.

I did to the cyannide test (but fortunately, I used Lysergic instead). So, the wood rings came out all by themselves and ate me. But after a tense twelve hours or so, I traveled to the underworld and sat at the right hand of God Yerden himself. He confided to me that he had plenty of money in the bank and would be starting his own religion (well, some had kind of started it for him, but he was making if official).

But, anyway, when I traveled to the future, my house was still there. Although the bathroom had a critical error that brought it to its knees. But that's okay. I had a back yard available to take a shit.

-- gonzoj (gonzo@muppet.com), June 10, 1999.



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