FLASH ALERT FLASH ALERT FLASH ALERT

ATTENTION FRLians:

The US House of Representatives is set to debate sweeping privacy legislation that would sharply curtail what customer fruitcake information banks will share with law enforcement authorities and business partners. Federal laws requiring banks to report any "suspicious fruitcake transactions" to a massive IRS computer would become more precise, and the rules requiring that banks report fruitcake deposits or withdrawals of more than US$10,000 would in the future apply to amounts greater than $25,000. A separate proposal would increase federal regulation of the fruitcake industry by requiring that banks let customers choose whether their fruitcake data may be shared with affiliated brokerage and insurance firms.

Once again the efforts to protect our Fruitcake Freedoms are being led by Representative Ron Paul (R-Texas). "I know what would happen if Congress had to vote on this," said Paul, who led the fight against the "Know Your Fruitcake" bill. "This is one issue that has been thoroughly explained to the American people and every Congressman is aware of it. We'd win overwhelmingly." It would also make their victory against the "Know Your Fruitcake" plan permanent by barring the Feds from making banks "determine the sources of fruitcakes" deposited by customers or requiring similar forms of surveillance.

FRLians, just like during the Christmas Season, let us all send Representative Ron Paul a non-fiat fruitcake to show our support. Also, now is the time to write and call your local reprehensibles.

This is the hour. The battle is at hand. To arms, FRLians, to arms!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 01, 1999

Answers

You know what? I never did like fruitcake...

-- (AtlantaAS@aol.com), July 01, 1999.

Aw, Rob, do I hafta send a fruitcake? I just got them all dosed up and wrapped up to 'cure' and now you want me to see one to some politian?!

I don't think Mr. Paul will appreciate 'em as much as I do. Can I just send him a Polaroid of one? (I guess I could send one of the older, dried out ones but I have them stacked up and holding up my pantry shelves.)

FRL forever! Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 01, 1999.

But I thought Linda tried to fax something, and the paper went right through the fax and came out the other side. So if try to fax a Polaroid of a fruitcake cabinet to a Senator, does the positive, the negative, the mirror image or the camera come out the other side? can I get two fruitcakes for the price of one fax?

Or can you really see the mirror image of a politician? Are they like vampires, and invisible to Polaroids?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 01, 1999.

Wow - both the Polaroid and the Raid commercials made the Duh-2000 list this month! http://www.duh-2000.com/

Success! or Success?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 01, 1999.

Linda: This is war! We all must be ready to make sacrifices. What price, Freedom?

Robert: Good Sir, if you put a negative and a positive together do you get an explosion? And what is an oid? I have heard of Polar Bears but not Polar Oids?

-------

For you, Gayla, this limerick. Thanks for the link.

Darkness recedes - a beautiful sight,

A crimson sky in the growing light,

Thin white mists over the lake hovers,

Like wisps of cotton - entwined lovers,

Awaiting the dawn - the end of night.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 01, 1999.

KYF I - 586 answers

KYF II - 200 answers

KYF III - 217 answers

total: 1003 FRLian answers - and S.O.B. made the 1000th post. Congratulations S.O.B., and also thanks to both you and Tricia for the counts.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 01, 1999.

Robert-

Just the facts, I have no fax and if I did, wouldn't it get a little messy sending a fruitcake through it? And for your information, it's a well-known fact that if you take a picture of a politician, you end up with a picture of a person with a big, gaping hole where the heart should be.

Rob, okay, I'll capitulate (or is that catapult?) I think I can spare an old, dried out 'cake. To whom shall I send it? (Doesn't that sound cultured of me?!) Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 02, 1999.

Here are the addresses for the previous FC threads (sorry, no link - html challenged :-). The original:

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000hxd

The second:

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000lmj

And the third:

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000sez

.

Yesterday was Canada day, when we celebrate our nationhood. To all fellow Canucks, a belated happy birthday. To all my American friends, a slightly early one. I'm going to be away for a couple of weeks starting Monday and I'm not sure how much net time I'll be able to squeeze in before then. If I miss something important, post it here. I'm sure to catch it then! ;-)

BTW, Linda, is that gaping hole the reason for spelling polititian "politian" in your first reply on this thread? Makes as much sense to me as any politian I know :-)

Have a great couple of weeks, y'all.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), July 02, 1999.

Are you guys trying to spell politician? (As in politiCs?) Or is this a Robert kind of a thing? :-) Tricia, have fun and welcome to the U.S. Hope you can check in periodically.

Rob, beautiful... simply beautiful! You have such a way with words, how could your wife ever banish you to the car? :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 02, 1999.

Gayla, mia culpa!

Wow, Diane, keep up the good work :-) I was just reading the apology threads. I don't know how you keep up! Is this now a full time + job for you? Much applause for a job well done!!! Hope you don't mind this wasted band width. It's a necessary sanity saver for me.

Headed for bed now; hopefully I'll catch up with y'all before leaving Monday.

.

Moderating here

Without appreciation;

All in a day's work!

.

No wonder Diane spells days 'daze' ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), July 02, 1999.

Tricia: We will miss you! Try and pop in to say hi if you can.

Gayla: You have solved a mystery for me!!! Dear Mrs. Michaels sometimes says to me that I am "wayword". I have always wondered what this meant. Now I know that she means I have a way with words. Thank you so much for helping me reach this delusion.

Lunch break almost over. Will pop in late tonight (hopefully) to see what's up.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 02, 1999.

How many policitiocianan pundits does a wayward word weigh if a waytooworded word could weigh words?

"Gayla, mia culpa!" - uh, Miss T - you misspelleded "Ooops, my fault" there.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 02, 1999.

Dear FRLians,

I quite unexpectedly find myself on your doorstoop with hat in hand. Although I have frequently viewed your festivities though the windows that you leave wide open, I've never been able in good conscience to enter and ask acceptance because I would have been unable to attend without the gloom and pessimism that has been constantly attendant to my soul and I have never been able to believe that I could do so without casting a pall over the gathering of you whom I consider all of to be the most excellent of companions.

To my utter astonishment and complete surprise, as I was peering through your window today, Rob Michaels sprang a catch in my soul that I was not aware even existed when he asked about the Oids. In much the same mystical manner that a focus on limericks overcame me, as that catch came loose, much fell away and much more came flooding out.

The first thing that got loose was the incredulous cry, "The Oids???? The Polar Oids? Doesn't everyone remember that they are the tribe that was banished to the Arctic by the Hammer Oids when they captured the American White House in the Battle of the Tabl Oids?"

This was swiftly followed by the observation that, "Certainly cameras of all stripe capture vampires' images quite well (note Buffy's foes, for example) and it is clearly because vampires are antecedents to the Andr Oids and the Cellul Oids and thus contained the seeds of technological compatibility. The mirror stuff is baloney and was only made up by Hollywod to save on film."

With your help, FRLians, I would block that doorway open, in case the aforementioned catch is a spring loaded one. Perhaps Robert can devise me an "Aggie Key" made from duct tape, but in the meantime, I'd like to be sure that it doesn't surprise me again. I'm not sure I'd survive if I got caught on the other side and couldn't get back out!

While I feel somewhat like I imagine an aetheist must feel while undergoing a deathbed conversion, I am nonetheless sincere and humbly beseech you to take pity on this weary soul of mine.

fer paybacks iffen yul let me in, I vow sware i wont rite as stuffie as usal due.

For references, I will reveal that I have on occasion in the past been called a fruitcake and will honestly tell you that I have made fruitcakes and that I am very fond of fruitcake.

That stuff was tru butt just putt me down as a Fruitflake, OK?

Sin-sere-lee,
Hardliner

pee ess.
Eye dint yuse a spel chekur sew plez xcoos mie mispeled wurds

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), July 02, 1999.

Hardliner, ROTFL! It is a FACT OID that we'd love to have you as a fellow FRLian! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 02, 1999.

guESS WhaT JAckaLs???????

yOU wiLL NeeD TO HiDE BettER THaN THaT If you wiSH tO AVoiD THe dIEtER!!!!!!!!!

a LIttLE MUsiC AnyONe???????

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), July 02, 1999.

OK, DiETeR, just for that, I'm going to show these people what you REALLY look like while you're dancing to that song!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 02, 1999.

Hardliner-What a wonderful acceptance speech before the fax! Now, you must repeat the FRL pledge after me:

As a FRLian

I pledge on my honor (or dishonor, as in the case of our steamed leader, Rob/Ron),

I will do my bestest

to do my duty (or ditty, if you can sing)

to my fellow FRLians (this means you must learn to achoo, er, haiku)

and to obey the FRL Law (see next entry);

to help other people at all times (share the beans and beano);

to keep myself physically strong (best accomplished by pressing fruitcakes, stealth duckies, or beavers-whichever is on hand),

mentally awake (if you can at least burp, that counts as awake),

and morally straight (this part is a little iffy).

Congratulations! You are now a bonny fried member of the FRL!

As for the FRL Law aforementioned: A fruitflake is:

TRUSTWORTHY-doesn't covet another's 'cake,

LOYAL-hangs with the other fruitloops against all odds (or evens),

COURTEOUS-that means bow when Rob enters the room (or is that curtsey? I never can remember),

OBEDIENT-sends $5 to the person who adminsters the FRL oath ;^D,

CHEERFUL-just don't over do it, okay?,

BRAVE-must be prepared to engage the enema, er, enemy at the slightest provocation, and above all,

CLEAN-we do sock checks often. (Be smart and invest in red socks, they're Rob's fav.)

There ya go! Just mail my 5 bucks to the address below (a nice, dark, brandy soaked 'cake is an acceptable substitute!) Linda

Tricia-We'll miss you. As for my "typo"...

A 'politian'

has no volition

to tell the truth;

this offers proof

that I have perfect diction!

(Come back soon)

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 02, 1999.

Gayla,

Are there Fact Oids here? If there are, we must be constantly on the alert as that tribe are all descended from Ted Turner and Jane Fonda!

They were all conceived in a fur-lined sled on a far away planet and are the result of genetic screening for the ability to propagate propaganda!

In the immortal words of Elmer Fudd, "We must awe-ul bee veh-wy ca'efull!"

Dieter,

Do you know The Marine Corps Hymn? Or better yet, after that article in the paper the other day, how about The Washington Post March?

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), July 02, 1999.

Hope this'l get rida Greybear's i-ties. . .

Linda,

I know this is OK, 'cuz doctors and nurses can give oaths, right? And you gotta be a doctor or a nurse 'cuz you gave medicine to those sick fruitcakes and wrapped them up good so they'd stay warm until they got well, right? (BTW, if you don't want to keep them around 'til they get better, just go ahead and send them to congress. Even if those guys eat sick fruitcakes, they won't get sick 'cuz I herd that conggressmen have the same resistance to botulism as a vulture. Would you believe 40,000 times as much as a real human?) Anyway, here goes:

As a FRLian

I pledge on my honor (or dishonor, as in the case of our steamed leader, Rob/Ron), Honor for me, thanks and is Rob steamed cuz he's mad or cuz he's red faced or cuz he's hot or is he just ready to eat?

I will do my bestestYou betcha!

to do my duty (or ditty, if you can sing) Duty fer me, thanks. Dittys are fer Sailors, er maybe that's dinghys, oh Hell, ask Robert!

to my fellow FRLians (this means you must learn to achoo, er, haiku) I kin alreddy hike pretty good! I was a grunt fer a long time!

and to obey the FRL Law (see next entry);

to help other people at all times (share the beans and beano); OK, but it's still, "He who smelt it, dealt it, right?

to keep myself physically strong (best accomplished by pressing fruitcakes, stealth duckies, or beavers-whichever is on hand), I'm a fanatic about beavers too! No problemo!

mentally awake (if you can at least burp, that counts as awake), Does it matter which end I burp out of?

and morally straight (this part is a little iffy). This on'll be EASY! I'm a very moral guy; I got some more in every port I ever pulled liberty in!

Congratulations! You are now a bonny fried member of the FRL!

As for the FRL Law aforementioned: A fruitflake is:

TRUSTWORTHY-doesn't covet another's 'cake, I already got more'n I can handle! Besides, I'm a scairt of Harderliner. . .

LOYAL-hangs with the other fruitloops against all odds (or evens), Gotcha covered. Semper Fi!

COURTEOUS-that means bow when Rob enters the room (or is that curtsey? I never can remember), Will a one fingered salute do? (NO, not that finger. . .)

OBEDIENT-sends $5 to the person who adminsters the FRL oath ;^D, Linda, I dun spent so much on Y2K preps, all I got left is $17.50 worth of old S&H Green Stamps that got all stuck together when my dog drooled on 'em. Will they do, or do I have to wait until I can raise the boodle?

CHEERFUL-just don't over do it, okay?, I don't think this on's gonna be a problem fer me. . . (the not overdoin it part)

BRAVE-must be prepared to engage the enema, er, enemy at the slightest provocation, and above all, NO ENEMAS!!! AND NO FOLEYS EITHER! OK?

CLEAN-we do sock checks often. (Be smart and invest in red socks, they're Rob's fav.) Miner clean alright, but I cut all the toes out so that the chiggers 'n ticks could get back out when they uz threw. . . Is that OK?

There ya go! Just mail my 5 bucks to the address below (a nice, dark, brandy soaked 'cake is an acceptable substitute!) Linda I put the stamps in my FAX, so if that's OK w/u, just send me yur FAX #

I do 'n Thanx,
Hardliner

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), July 02, 1999.

I am humbles and speechlees in awe...really, this thing ain't got no sound card.

Now, was that the themed song - to the rythme (or rythyms, rythem, or whatever) of the old Camptown Racers or to the Marine Corps hymn?

Oh the DooDah Days....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 02, 1999.

Aaaahhhhh, such a welcome surprise, Hardliner! Your Asylum poems hooked us hook, line, sinker for Forum addiction. To see you again, so nice! Lends spice! The right kind ;^)

A 5.7 in Vancouver Island today, and just now, a 3.5 in SW Washington -- which we felt! Such a strange sensation, these rolllling waves, feel it in blood & tissue fluids, vision changes, watched the table rolllling ... Whew, Another One! It's on all our Breaking News channels.

xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), July 02, 1999.

Closest i got to feel one that large was in Vallejo, CA. Got hit with a %+ while in the shipyard there a few years ago.

But I was bouncing across railroad tracks on my little bitty cheap shipyard pickup truck - and didn't notice a thing! Got inside the submarine - and couldn't a feel thing. (There's no rolling "motion" if the "world" you see moves up and down the same time you are moving up and down, the water damped any "excitement".)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 02, 1999.

Our friend Hardliner came to play,

I gotta say, it made my day.

It's been a spell,

His jokes are swell!

Now if he could just fix Y2K! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 02, 1999.

Hardliner: As leader of this here FRL, it is my great privilege to offer you the Heartiest of Welcomes. Your expertise and previous experience in the military, and your uncommon ability to write astounding and creditable poetry (thought I forgot, didnt you?) will be very valuable to us all.

You will find that once the door is opened, friend, it cannot be closed  for the door and the catch both cease to exist. Here is where we come for that feeling of cyber companionship - our hair down, our hearts open. It is this place especially that we come to when the Goo is too thick, and our dials are spinning. So to you I say: Welcome Hardliner, Newest FRLian, Ye of Brave and Open Heart, Relinquisher of the Catch, and Finder of what Peace there is to find.

Fellow FRLians: What a week this has been. With the return of S.O.B., and now the membership by Hardliner. Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms. Long live the FRL.

The following is a personal message for Hardliner only:

Pssst. Hardliner. Shhhh. I wanted to ask you--- HEY! Youre not Hardliner. Stop reading this instant!

Thats better. Now, bout your first post on this thread - Uh, well, I was just wondering about them last few lines you wrote, and if, well, er, if you had a drink or two by the end of that post. If I am wrong about this then thats ok, my apologies to you, please dont be offended. I can understand what an emotional moment this has been. So far this is a dry thread anyway. But I ask cause sometimes another FRLian will sense that I need a little nip or two myself and be kind enough to provide it, yet I am always lonely, since no one is drinking with me, ya know? Sometimes I forget who I am, and other times I talk to myself (via my alter-ego named Mike). Sad, I know. And then I almost always just fall asleep. So I was wondering, well, if maybe you also like to have a drink once in a while, then perhaps we could have one together. Imagine what our conversation might be like! Two FRLian Drinking Buddies. Just a thought. In any event, WELCOME!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 02, 1999.

Boy - I'm glad I couldn't read that - cause if this is a dry thread I'll have to go fishing an' crawdading over in the dehydrated beer thread.

Course that's just my opinion. (To everybody else, now Rob you can't read this ) Thought his altered ego was RON.....you know, like the airlines Remain OverNight bags they give you when they loose your baggage and you have to stay in the garage overnight.....

Okay Rob - you can read it again.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 02, 1999.

Ashton and Leska: Yikes! Just found out about the quakes. Keep well and let us know what is happening.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 02, 1999.

OK, Rob! (or Ron or Mike or whoever you are!) I got the hint (and a very strong hint, too!) Here ya go! But NO driving afterwards, OK? Leave the clown car alone! You can share a LITTLE with Robert. We don't want him hanging around that beer thread too much! None for Uncle though. He drinks 2 liters at a time! My heavens! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 02, 1999.

Yep, Rob, we're good to roll, earthquakes are what got us started in 1993 prepping. Y2K a spike in the chart. 8-9+ forecast on Cascadian Subduction Zone. Hopefully not in our lifetime! Cheers to the new FRLians! from Cascadia where it's rarely dry, raining now. Still have a real weird sensitized sensation in ole bod, there's a reality warp when the earth rolls. We'll post if another one rattles :^) Funny thing is, Ashton just did a major overhaul of the remaining glassies of our 300+ hanging pictures, taking glass and replacing with lamination or non-glare plastic. He only has @ 12 more to go ...

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), July 02, 1999.

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooo. Real Beer. Compliant. Thank you Gayla. But does Robert drink? That looks soooooo good. Maybe I'll just have a little sip.

No, Rob, you can't. It's late and you have to work again tomorrow, remember?

Aw C'mon. It's Friday night, and I am worried about Ashton and Leska too. I could use a sip or two.

No, it's not a good idea. Besides, you have to wait for Hardliner to answer your question. It wouldn't be polite to drink alone now until you hear what he has to say.

Aw Shucks. You're no fun. But I guess you are right this time. Let's wait and see if Hardliner or Robert or another FRLian will want to be Drinking Buddies. I'll check the thread tomorrow and see, and then it will be PARTY TIME tomorrow night.

-- Rob/Mike (sonofdust@net.com), July 02, 1999.

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Hardliner tripped over the leaded fruitcake doorstop and ended up hear-ye. Or head over heals? Amy who... wellcome.

Tricia, have a wunnerful vacation. Well miss you. This is one of the few threads where the insanely sane, coping with y2kayishness, can become rebalanced, or unbalanced. As needed.

I expresso the FRL pledge too... latte as usual!! But Hardliner dose it better. LOL

Leska n Ashton, jus roll with the punches. An doan let Rob get holt of em cause hell spike the punches n get snockered again. (Be well.. thinking lots of white light thoughts).

Slurp... Gayla! ('n Rob/Mike)

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 03, 1999.

Leska: Thanks for the update about the quakes and how you are doing.

Now I better get some slee - Hey - Mike is gone! Where is that beer now. OOOOooooo I see it. I think I will have a... WHOA!!!!!!!

Thought you could fool me huh? No way Rob. Now, for trying that little stunt your posting privileges are revoked until tomorrow night!

-- Mike Roberts (sonofdust@net.com), July 03, 1999.

Him: Me? Drink? Never. Nothing stronger than 20-30 cups of coffee a day..

Her: Oh who was this?

< Shame, shame........but I'll think of you every time I pastyoureyes my beer by tilting up another empty. >>

Him: Ooops.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 03, 1999.

Boy, catch a few zzz and the kids come out to play. You guys must have been up all night!

Hardliner:

Ya dun good. Now, in answer to your questions; the answers in order:

yes; okay; you betcha; definitely yes; the Vulcan one is best; send 'em on; too bad, I had my latex gloves ready; good idea, and 46-65-968'73-93473 (I'm okay, you're weird.)

Glad to hear we have a grunt aboard, now when Rob has to replant trees for his missus due to beaver attack, we'll know who to send to help out.

Welcome aboard, sailor! Linda

PS Do the chiggers/ticks come out 'cause they're getting gassed? Did you 'burp' down your pant leg?

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 03, 1999.

(Pssssst! Linda! Over here. Shhhh! Hardliner was a Marine, not a Sailor. Shhhh! Be careful... they're touchy about those kinds of things, ya know! Rivalry and all...) :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 03, 1999.

Another... Pssssst!... Linda!

Robert was the in the floating force. Maybe good at swabbing decks awash in coffee? (Beer serves a higher purpose).

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 03, 1999.

Rob,

Yer welcome warms me heart ol' bucko an' yer sly aside 'bout sharin' a drop er three has come ta the right place! Why, I might be back on the auld sod itself, as warm as it makes me feel! A dram o' Hot Irish on a cold night is never amiss an' tho I c'n pretty well drink most anythin', if I c'n provide, we'll be spendin' an evenin' er nine er ten wi' the Tennessee Gentleman hisself! Robert is welcom too as Sailors are known to be connie-sewars of fine likker too!

As fer the thread bein' dry, let's do it Texas style. The Lone Star state is wet er dry by votin' precinct, so let's make the thread wet er dry by post! Whaddayasay, matey? If wer gonna be toast anyway, I say we shud get ready! Lots of toasts!

To start, Here's to the fine grained men an' wimmin uf the FRL! May all of ya' be in Heaven a half an hour 'afore the Devil knows yer dead!

Diane,

Ya need to try a latte wi' some Ameretto in it. . . Yul find a side to Juan Valdez that ya never draemed of. . .

Linda,

Thanx fer the FAX #. I sent the stamps an' they dint come out the other side so I no ya got em by now. Its a good thing two since my FAX crapped out right after. Wouldya believe? It made a real bad smel just lik dog breath an squeeled a little and just qwit. Aniewa, thanx fer takin the stamps 'stead o' bucks. Hope ya cin git a reely swell prize with em.

Okie dokie on the tree plantin. Im a grunt sailor with wings so I cin dig holes reel good 'n then fly up 'n perch in the top 'n sea whuts comin. Allus glad ta help out.

Now 'bout the chiggers 'n such, I gotta 'splain. Im not wun ta bee a sik bae komando, but onct I got ta feelin bad so I mad sick call. Ya no what thu flit sirjun told me? He sed, Hardliner, ya got two much blud in yer alkahawl! Wel sur, I sez, Il take care a that rite away! I ben werkin at it ever sinc. Now 'bout the chiggers 'n ticks. Ther gassed alrite, but prolly not lik u ment. After drinkin this ol gyrene's blud, ther prety wel ossifiedd an id just as sune not have em staggerin round all over my fetes. Just think bout a vampire doin a wino. Same idee.

'n pants? Ya mene ta tel me ya gotta wear pants roun heer? Nobudy sed nuthin bout no pants!

Rob!

Due I reely gotta wer pants?

Gayla,

Its ok that she cald me a saler cuz i almost joynd thu Navy. In facked, I wooda, cept the bosuns mate took me home with her 'n the bosun got reel mad so i went to the Marines 'n they asked my wy i wanted to go on a submarine when they cud make me a supermarine. Mad cents ta me an look wher it got me! Thu Navys OK with me Gayla. Yul nevr no how many time the shore patrol gave me aride home! Thers a lot of reely nice guys in the Navy 'an Roberts an Aggie too 'n hes invited ta bee a drinkin bud with mee n Rob, so itll be OK. Dont worry.

Thanx agin everbody. I fel lots better alreddy. An dont worry bout the drinkin stuff with Rob n Robert. I dont throw up when I drink n i promis ta bee gud.

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), July 03, 1999.

hhhmmm, ppls been bringin up vampires a lot lately, any questions, we sorta versed, bein Anne Rice aficionados ;~[

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), July 03, 1999.

For Ashton & Leska (and anyone else who wishes to read it)

My first earthquake came when I lived in San Diego. I had just bought and moved into a house there that had been vacant and on the market for about nine months. Among other things that I had to do early on was deal with the garbage disposal since all the real estate people and prospects who smoked cigarettes had apparently decided that the disposal was the place for butts in a completely empty house.

I had taken the unit off the sink, taken it apart, cleaned out the butts, put it back together and bolted it back onto the sink. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the sink, and had reached in, taken a hold of the disposal and was in the process of giving it a good "shake" to be sure that I'd tightened the mounting bolts enough.

The timing couldn't have been better if it had been planned. At the same precise instant that I started to "shake" the disposal, Mother Nature started to shake the world. It was a lot like what you've described as far as the internal physical sensations and the hanging light fixture swinging madly about along with the sound of breaking glass made for quite a surprise.

Now here's the part that should establish my credentials as a "fruitflake" for all time. As all this took place, the very first thought that went through my mind was that I was shaking the entire house, that it was infested with termites, that it was coming down around my ears and that the real estate folks had really swindled me!

My delusion was very brief, and I quickly realized what was happening and headed for the outdoors, but that first instant is one of those intense memories that are so unique and powerful that they remain nearly as vivid as the original experience each time they are recalled for the rest of one's life.

I don't remember how strong the 'quake was, but I do remember that it cracked my patio and back retaining wall, broke about half of the windows in the back of the house and busted a lot of dishes and glassware.

In Espaqol, the word for earthquake is terremoto, which when pronounced sounds to me like "terror todo". Feels like it too.

You guys keep letting us know that you're still there and OK!

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), July 03, 1999.

LOL Hardliner!

That's about the funniest quake snippet I've heard in a long time.

;-D

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 03, 1999.

Hardliner, thanks! Amazing how an intense first experience of the extraordinary stays with one all one's days. There's an unusual time bended surreal quality at the beginning of an earthquake -- one doubts one's senses, literally. Later, maybe a dope-slap at not trusting intuition ;^) Maybe subconsciously you still are in awe at the strength of your arm and suspecting of the disposal gnomes :-) We'll always think of you now when there's an earthquake and remember your first-person eyewitness account. We like to hear how other ppl experience wild 'n wooly bumps! of all kinds. O:+J

xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx xxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), July 03, 1999.

A toast to you Hardliner. My new FRLian drinking buddy. Down the hatch!

Mmmmmm. Beer is still cold. nother swig. Very tastpee. Thankpoo agin Galya. Hicup. Now bout dem pants. No one evr brought up dis befour, or befive, or besix, so I had to Pantificate on it. and I tink as loong as we all got sockz on den where ok. Anywayz dats my contusion.

nother bip, uh, I mean sipp. Mmmmmmmm. goes down soothly. Hicpuocup. Dis is fun havin a dinking bubby. I peel fritty gud now. Wherzxe Robert? Hes hour dinking bubby tooo hipcuppopup. Mear Drs. Mikaels hid da likker on me so I don git dunk. Dont no whyy. I don get dunk. I get hippy. Ha Ha hahahahahaha weeeeeeeeee. Hicupup. An sometimez iget a sittle leepy. Hay! You up four a mimerlick or hiapoo? Ha hahahah. Nvere trieed dis aftr dinking hikupupoppu.

Wee frlians hav no pants,

We don kare we takes hour chance,

And wiht duct sox on are feet,

Reel bight red, kool an neat,

Wee will dwink, sing, an dance.

Hahahhahah Hicpu. nother bip. Ooooooo. Sooo gud. Now, ware waz wee? Ohyeah, I forgrot. Hmmmm Hikpu. HAHAHA haha Weeeeeeeee. Tank poo hadrlinrer, mi nu diniking dubby. HAHhahah ahikupp. Wellits tim four mego now. Nomor postign tillmorrow. Byee . Longg Liv our Flutecrkae Fleedoms!!!!

-- Rob Michales (sonfodtus@net.xom), July 03, 1999.

Whoa! Hardliner, you better git them thar pants back on in a hurry! I can understand why you cut the toes from your socks (nothing like a tipsy tick) but did ya hafta get Rob started on the sauce? I've never seen him so "happy."

Got the Green Stamps but they had some gooey stuff on them-fax guts?

Sorry about the sailor crack-I'm an Army brat, myself, and only understand dog-face lingo. Dad retired from the Army Air Corps after 23 years and all of us kids learned to 'shape up or ship out.'

A&L-glad to hear you're ok. I don't watch much tv or listen to the radio so my first news of the 'quake was on this forum. My only 'natural disaster experience' is facing the May 3 tornado aftermath in OK. You will be glad to know that trees have leaves on them again (most of them anyway) and that a lot of the debris has been removed. The whole area looks less like a bombing site now. I'm glad, it was a heartache to look at.

Happy Fourth of July to you all. My own dad served for 23 years and has had Alzheimer's disease for the past 6 years. Every year our church has a service to honor those who have served us in the military and each year I fight back the tears to think of Dad, not knowing me, not being able to care for himself-him, the strongest man I've ever known. So here's to you, Dad, thanks for all you've done for our country. I love you. Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 04, 1999.

You guys are KILLING me! First, I'm ROTFL from Hardliner and Rob. (And I gotta tell ya, the older I get the harder it is to get back up off of the floor!) :-) Then I read Linda's post and she makes me cry. Whew!! What an emotional roller coaster. But hey, I like roller coasters! :-) Happy 4th to all the FRLians! (Even DiETeR who should be shot out of a cannon, and the Canadians who celebrated on the 1st!)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 04, 1999.

Happy Independence Day to all.

Glad I help could brighten your day a bit Gayla :)

Long Live the FRL!!!!

Gotta run now since I spent so much time writing that long post on the new thread. Maybe I'll be able to get back online late tonight for a bit. BFN, Rob.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 04, 1999.

Gayla ... DiEtEr ... the cannon ... looks like FRLians may get a sight of their own special fireworks ;^) Happy 4th! Independence has weighted meaning for GIs, eh?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), July 04, 1999.

Welcome, Hardliner!

Youse guys is just too funny :-D

Happy July 4th!

.

This haiku thing is getting out of hand, I didn't even try that one, it just happened.

Linda, my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you can still remember your dad as he was (and will be, God willing).

Enjoy your fireworks, all. We had the natural ones on Thursday - lightening and thunder to raise the dead! It was nice for me, 'cause I was working and would have missed the man-made type.

A&L, I'm looking forward to seeing you in body, this week!

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), July 04, 1999.

Rob,

Thanx fer thu roolin on thu pants. I nevur saw wy thae wuz iny gud indoors innyway. Awl thae got ta rekamen em is pockuts 'n if yer in the Marines thae wont let ya keep yer hands in em 'n thae wont let ya carry nuttin in em n lottsa guys so thu pockuts shut innyway so what good r thae? Skivvie drawers er lots mor kumfertible two. Shucks, Harderliner evun put a litl velkro do dad on awl thu flyes so thae wont due lik the shutl bae dors on that big rokit ship on star trekk! thas funnie two cuz whin i drink whhiskie i here a litl voyce that sez, "Open the pod bay doors, Hardliner!" kood that mene im crazy rob? o yea rob! ya reely nede ta ete sumpin b4 ya start drinkin! it helps alot. beleve me i no. thas stil a swel lemuricke tho. this uns not as gud butt its awl i kud cum up with jest now.

whin I joyned thu FRL yesturdae,
Miz Linda wuz nice 'n let mie paye,
with grene stamps i had,
so i wont be bad,
and hope that u'll all let me stae.

Linda,

bi now uve prolly seen robs roolin on the pants. plez dont b sew pickie! u tuk greene stamps, hhow bout a brake on the pants? i promis two allwayz ware kleen skivvies. prittie plez? bsides, i bet u seen guys in there skivvies b4? kom on! u hav aint ya? whaddayasay?

dont worry bout the saler crack. it awl salers falt innyways. there into everthin 'n even thu wae wee awl talk. fer instunss, yer daddy was Air Corps, rite? Why dint he tel u kids ta shape up er fly out? how kum everbodie has ta ship out huh? ill tel ya y! them salers got everbody talkiing there lingo thas y! its ok n not yer falt.

I've got to fall out of caricature here for a moment Linda and comment on your Dad. He's still the strongest man you've ever known and that strength is serving him well on his journey into what for most of us is truly, "The undiscovered country". The part of him that's left behind retains his dignity and is more than worthy of all our respect. I sincerely join with you in your toast to him and to all those who served with him.

o yea i almos fergot! thas knot faxguts. i tolu bout the dog drool rite? wel that wuz along tim ago n thu stamps were all stif n wount go in thu fax slot so i had ta get em wet agin. all i cud find wa sun jello frum last week. it wuz lime so thas y its grene n thhos litl yella stringie things r shreded pine apples n the lil skwishie bals r tapeokis. sory fer the mes butt its awl i had.

Gayla,

kum on Gayla wee aint killin u! yer knot fulin us ladie! we no yer tuf as nales! yer a teechur rite? if ya wuznt tuffern cheap toylet paper u'd nevur of mad it this far! y ill bet u evun got a speshul "teechurs lownje" with a torchur rack 'n wips n hot kols n lots a stuf fer the bad kids!

awl that rollin on the flor is gud fer ya! if som1 (like 1 a them bad kids) evur sets ya on fire thas thu bestust wa ta put yerself out!

maebee i kin help with yer gettin up prolem 2. ill ask rob n robert if its ok ta hav a girl be a drinkin buddy n iffn thae sae yes then u cn b 1 too. dontcha see Gayla? that way u wont need ta get up offn thu flor! pretty smart huh?

i dont unnerstan bout the roller coasters tho. rnt thae all motional? if there round thae roll n thas motional rite? n whut good er thae iffn thae aint round? c when ther round, the condensation from yer glass dont no where ta run off onta the table but iffn thae wuz skware awl the water ud drip off the corners an ruin yer tables! y wud anyon want skware coasters?

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), July 04, 1999.

Oo-oo-oo! Party goin' on?!

Lemme read and catchup and I'll be right back...

-- jor-el (jor-el@krypton.uni), July 04, 1999.

U call dat reding?

oops, "c'mon ete, wyfe sez." (Now thass wh i like to here) mebbe by back later.

(Y don't I think GN will link to this thread next weak?)

-- jor-el (jor-el@krypton.uni), July 04, 1999.

Jor- el.... you been sampling the beer too? :-)

Hardliner! Not THOSE kinds of coasters. They don't go fast enough. Besides, you would have to have a teeny tiny bottom to sit on one of those! :-) Hey, where is everybody? The only people on the forum today are "Sista in the Hood" and "Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts." What a combo!! :-) Maybe we could match them up??? hee hee!

Haven't you guys slept it off by now?

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 05, 1999.

Hardliner-You didn't know that you could 'ship out' in an airplane? There was also 'straighten up and fly right', 'go out and play in the street', 'stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about', and the infamous 'straighten up or I'm going to tear your arm off and beat you with the bloody end of it.' (I was never quite sure the inflection of that last one.) I can tell you that I didn't dare talk back to Dad!

Fortunately for us, Dad got more mellow as the Alzheimer's progressed; telling us that he loved us (for the first time in my life-I was 34), and telling us how much he appreciated us. He became the loving father I always wanted. He hasn't known my name for over a year now but he occasionally smiles when I come to visit him. He's a tough guy and is hanging on. I'm trying to 'be tough' too; accepting all the different stages of loss.

As for the pants-clean skivvies are acceptable as long as they don't gape. Nothing worse than gaping skivvies. (There's a mental picture I'm trying to block!!)

Thanks for the 'out of character' remarks. Linda

PS I hate to see food go to waste-think I can rehydrate the green stamp goo?

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 05, 1999.

Linda:

Been there, didn't like the scenery much.

Done that, got the t-shirt, it can't cover the scars 'cause they ain't formed yet.

Hardliner's right about his strength.

Besides, the "he" that you remember won't go away.

Which can be both good and tough sometimes.

ANYWAY: Happy Fireworks EVERYBODY!

Chuck *sniff*

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), July 06, 1999.

A big out-of-the-fruitcake-closet welcome to our new soaked nuts! Really nice to see you on here, jor-el :-) So good to see SOB back to countin. Happy ta hear da jig jingle. Whatever did happen to zee Circus? The rumors that it hoists tent once more in October -- they be true? Fly the FRLian banner as we march into the brave new Millennium!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), July 06, 1999.

And in honor of this weekend's events - and because they were the first set of clean trousers I found in the closet this morning - I'm wearing my former navy-type dress blue trousers today.

Ordered them in April '78 - and they still fit. Shows you how much a navy engineering officer needs to wear a dress blue uniform. Now, all the old working kakii uni's are trashed out and too worn for anything but junk clothes - like my blue jeans from high school - but they still fit too.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 06, 1999.

Robert, Thou art disgusting!

C

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), July 06, 1999.

Gawd Robert,

Is that what they mean by a tight fit? Or a tight a**? Sheesh! Well, I could still wear my 1960s go-go boots? That count?

...These boots are made for walkin... ta dum, dum.

Then theres Hardliner and his hot?--not gaping--skivvies. (The mind boggles). Hes tight too. Fits right in with the rest of the brandied fruitcakes here.

;-D

On a lower (or higher) note, Linda,

My Dad crossed over in 1988, and at the end barely looked like a WWII concentration camp survivor. Essentially emphezema (-1 sp?) though he never smoked. The memories of all he was, still are, just as fresh today. Its the spirit of him that remains bright. It was quite clear when he crossed that the spark of his being had departed the empty rental home. But his essence remains.

Thanks... for the memories ...Dad.

Heres tipping one (well, maybe two) to you--red wine--your favorite...

...and remembering that your Lockheed thumbprint once helped the Apollo astronauts make it to the moon.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 06, 1999.

Well, it's not they (the pants) were worn out or anything.

Now, the leather belt my dad gave me when I was 12 is starting to wear out, so I don't wear it regularly anymore......

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 07, 1999.

Robert-Do we need to take up a collection for you to get some new clothing?! Good grief-you can still wear pants that you got twenty years ago!! Chuck's right, that is disgusting.

Diane-Lost my grandfather to emphysema (looked it up) a number of years ago. That's a hard way to die. I bet you still miss him.

I was going to say that we were getting too serious here but I've learned that suffering (and even death) are very much part of living. These things develop character in our lives. Some of us need more character than others. (And some of us start out as characters!)

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 07, 1999.

Fellow FRLians - Popped by to say hi. Looks like there is something new and yummy to drink! Too bad I have to work another four or five hours. Maybe will stop by late tonight.

Since the "answers count" starts to descend after 1 week, and this here silly thread is already that old, I will post the count here. If this post is just under Linda's "character" post (Hey, am I a character too?) then this is answer number 60.

BTW, I still ain't sure where these answers disappear to. Maybe they go to the same place that socks do when you put them in the dryer. You know that place, dontcha?

Gotta run (what else is new :) BFN, Rob

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 07, 1999.

I don't understand what the problem is - have styles changed recently? I mean, it's not like the old ones are too badly worn to be unuseable or anything ... do other people (other than my kids of course) have to get new clothes all the time or something?

Except the old blue jeans - those did have some holes and tears - so I only wear the old ones while painting. The new jeans are okay, got them in '94.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 08, 1999.

You know very well why it's crimping FRLians, Robert you rascal! Stop rubbing it in. Rations of dry fruitcake with no pineapple or nuts for one week for you. No, wait a minute, that would just contribute to your no-bloat gloat. Loaves of cream-soaked pound fruitcakes chock-full of brazil nuts, vanilla chips, cashews, banana, and Hoggy Dazs pistachio ice cream heaped in your bowl, one loaf serving every hour, 10X per day. Heeheeheeheehee. Let him eat fruitcake!

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), July 08, 1999.

A & L:

I second that emotion! All I have to do is _look_ at something sweet and I gain weight! (I tell my friends that it would be better if I just tape those cookies on my butt with Scotch tape-they'd come off a whole lot easier!)

Robert-don't show up here again until you have split the seams of those pants, do you hear me!?

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 08, 1999.

Robert, Good Sir: '94 are the new ones? Are they still blue, or do they feel blue? Do you feel blue since they aren't that "new"? Or is new relative? If you suddenly got a new relative would you get them blue Jeans. Wouldn't that make them feel blue too?

Tricia we miss you! This is for you:

Stillness in the night,

the moon is shrouded in clouds,

darkness on the lake.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 08, 1999.

Got a new relative recently - sent him a little "Big Chicken" tee-shirt.

I'm know I'm ducking the question Miss Linda - but no splits yet! Couple of spares, a few strikes, one or two open's maybe - but let's not bring Hardliner's shorts back up.

(PS Have you tried duct tape on those cookies?) 8<)

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 09, 1999.

Well, I checked in, and I'm so envious of Robert that I almost went out in a snit without saying anything!! It took me a year to lose 30 pounds and a month to put back 15 of it *sigh*. My sister tells me not to worry about it, it's part of the Y2K stocking up procedure. However, since I threw out all my hugely fat clothes, my moderately overweight clothes are getting a bit tight. Those of you who show up at the Seattle meet the Yourdonites tomorrow will be able to bear witless to that ;-)

Thank-you for the poetry, Rob. Your haikus are always so beautiful. Unc must have taught you right.

.

Driving through mountains

Clean air with wonderful scents

Lovely sights to see.

.

After tonight, I'll be away for another week. Be well!

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), July 09, 1999.

Time, it rolls along

No, you can't go home again

So long my good friends

-- ? (?@?.?), July 10, 1999.

Tricia: Your request for another leave, or shrub, or tree, has been approved. We await your return, Dear and Loyal FRLian.

???: Home is where the heart is. Sounds like yours is here with us. I'll leave a candle (compliant) in the window. Be well and keep your sense of humor always.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 10, 1999.

Tricia, so glad you checked in with us. Not to worry, you're still 15 pounds lighter and as for the supposed tightness of your clothing-it's no concern to us who care for you!

Robert-DUCT TAPE!! Boy, you are one sick puppy! ;^D

FRLians in general (or private)- Have you seen the Duct tape thread on the new TP2000 Prep Forum? Our own Sir Rob is advocating a new society for the advancement of duct tape. It's worth a look-see. (BTW, the new forum is balm to my spirit after having endured the incoming muck of the past few weeks on this forum. Try it, I think you will agree.)

Your fellow fruitcake forever-Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 10, 1999.

Wow, I had time to check in again today! I thought we'd be too busy. My daughter and I had a wonderful time this afternoon with why2cay Don and his wife. If anyone else showed up, they didn't have the nerve to associate with 'those wierdos wearing tinfoil hats' ;-) It's great to get some encouragement from people who look intelligent and sane, excepting the hats, of course (as opposed to those who frequent here, who's looks I can only imagine). The visit with my aunt is going swimmingly, I just regret that it may not happen again for a lonnnggg time.

I took your advise and checked the tape thread on the new forum, Linda. What a great laugh. However, I've only watched in admiration as duct tape was used, never done so myself. I don't know if they'll let me join DUH. Do you think being a MacGyver fan will count for anything (he's even better than Red/Green, IMO). I do want to make a new fruitcake slingshot using the filament duct tape that GB mentions - maybe if I do that, I'll qualify for DUH entrance.

Bless you all, and I'll do my best to look in before leaving Renton, Monday morning.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), July 10, 1999.

Tricia,

Have a great trip.

Gonna take some time out myself... soon.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 11, 1999.

Now that Rob has a new "love" on the other forum (the DUH,) I feel like I can confess about my new "love." On the way home from my family reunion in Oklahoma, I stopped in Corsicana. BUT did I stop at the Collin Street Bakery (home of the World Famous Fruitcake?) NO! Corsicana now has a Russell Stover Candy factory outlet! :-) I have to come "clean" and confess to you that I like chocolate MORE than fruitcake!

I really think it was a conspiracy to put it in the same town, and it's WORKING!!! There were millions of boxes of Russell Stover Candy and even Whitman's Samplers, and they were half off!! There were tons of free samples of everything! It was more than I could take! After leaving the Candy factory, the very idea of even visiting the Fruitcake bakery was enough to make me gag!

So, with great shame (and a chocolate hangover) I will accept your punishment if you so deem, and resign as a FRLian.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 12, 1999.

Gayla: You are an FRLian, and once an FRLian always an FRLian. Besides, what would we do without you, Oh Great Chief Investigatress, and Flinger of the Flaming Cake? If I can't get out of being the leader of this here thing, and I can't (so far - hee hee), then you aren't allowed to leave either.

Nothing to me is more serious than chocolate. It is way too serious to joke around about. So I can empathize. This doesn't mean that we do not appreciate other important things, like duct tape. It also doesn't mean that we can slack off our guard when it comes to protecting our hard-won fruitcake freedoms.

Your resignation is not approved. You are here with us to stay, dear friend, and we wouldn't have it any other way!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 12, 1999.

Thanks, Rob! sniff...sob...sniff... I'm touched! :-) I gotta make sure I have a chocolate stash for next year. Does anyone know the shelf life of chocolate? :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 13, 1999.

Some of the bars in the WWII K-rat's are still just as edible now as they were then.

Does this help? Or does it confuse the issue by assuming they were edible then?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 13, 1999.

Robert, eeeeeeeewwww! Is that how you stay so skinny? :-)

Hey, where's Hardliner? And what has happened to Arlin? I figured out who ??? was on the above haiku. Hopefully he won't be able to break his addiction. :-) I really miss Donna Barthuley, too. Sent her a private e-mail but haven't heard back. I did spot Lon Frank on the other forum. No clown shoes, but I did detect the aroma of gumbo. :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 13, 1999.

Gayla

Not to worry, you are absolved from your chocolate orgy. Personally, I think that the only thing better than fruitcake is chocolate-in any form.

As for your shelf life question, chocolate will turn 'gray' with time but the taste will not be affected. (I have been buying up chocolate stuff after every holiday when it goes on sale, wrapping it in freezer wrap-to fool the kids-and putting it in the freezer for later.)

What a picture here:

Gayla in choc'late heaven

(still dreams of fruitcake)

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 13, 1999.

Diane: Oh Great Shatterer of Records, Seeress of the Future, Provider of Bubbly, and Dear and Loyal FRLian; a haiku for you, to mark this auspicious, or delicious, or suspicious occasion!

Over 4K posts,

Congratulations Diane,

Bless You and Thank You.

FRLians: I am working on a small project for the newbies and have been spending my free time on it. Should be done by Thursday night. Be back then I hope, Rob.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@met.com), July 14, 1999.

Hey - way cool! Got published again. My letter to WorldNetDaily got printed over there: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/bluesky_e-mail/98.e-mail.shtml.

Neat. Now I've got two Reader Digest's thingy's, three or four of WND's letters-to-the-editors, and few technical articles. (Mostly nuclear stuff, navy design stuff. Sound of self-congratulating self by patting self on the back. Hurts the arm, shoulder, and back if done too often or with too much enthusiasm!)

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 15, 1999.

Attention FRLians!

The FRL will now come to order for this award ceremony.

Sir Cook, please kneel. Thank you. Now---

Robert, Good Sir, Wearer of tutus and old Jeans, Linguistic Master, Explainer of that which Defies Explanation, Returner of my really bright red Socks, and Loyal FRLian:

It is with great pleasure that I, the extinguished leader of this here FRL, present you with the Order of the Fruit medal. Your recent accomplishments and activities are an example to all FRLians of FRLianness at its best. (The medal is duct-taped onto your shirt now) You are hereby commented.

You may stand now, Oh Bearer of the Order of the Fruit!

---- Cyber applause ----

The FRL may now return to out of order, or normal, or regular, or whatever it was before this post.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), July 15, 1999.

Robert A Cook, PE

>Neat. Now I've got two Reader Digest's thingy's, three or four of WND's letters-to-the-editors, and few technical articles. (Mostly nuclear stuff, navy design stuff.<

Sir Robert,

I knew that anyone who could enlighten me, a dumb old Instrument Tech, with the wonders of "Nukie 201", as you did a few months back, had to be a rather special person, but the Readers Digest?

WOW!!!

Not too bad for an Aggie. (g)

I can't believe that I know an "Aggie Nukey Navy Dude". Those are very rare, if not an endangered species.

But, just so that you know the whole truth: You aren't the only one who still wears the same size duds as when we both were younger.

At 5' 7" tall, 60 years old, weighing in at 123 pounds, soaking wet and half dressed, I still wear size 30 blue jeans, just as I did when I was 16 years old. Plus, plus mind you, I still have the same da*n belt that I had when I retired from the Air Force in 1976.

So There! (BG)

( I do prefer to be known as that Lean, Mean Loving Machine, rather than as that Bony Little Bast*rd).

Congratulations Sir Robert, Oh beKnighted One, Pocesser of the Pearls of Wisdom, Keeper of the Light of Truth, and Knower of that which Is and Should be Known.

You dood really really swell.

Actually, just to have published the tech articles, and I DO take note of the plural, has said all that needs to be said Sir.

It is an honor to be on the same forum with you.

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), July 16, 1999.

Sir Robert, O Fruity One: Congratulations on your most recent achievements! (and on being 'pinned'--does Mrs. Cook know that you're engaged now?) Any chance that you can let us know what you published with Reader's Digest? I do have a few minutes a day when I am not engaged in mundanity, er, mundaneity, er, boring stuff, and would like to read your stuff.

SOB: Don't you find it inconvenient to be pruney all day from staying soaking well (and half-dressed, to boot!) I'm afraid to ask which half is not dressed.

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), July 16, 1999.

First RD piece was in "Life in the United States", and paraphrasing slightly since I don't recall all the details and street names, and they were edited in the original a little bit anyway, went like this. (Appeared in early-mid 1980.)

< Get on I-10 East in San Antonio, turn left at I-95 in Jacksonville, FL. Turn left again at Route 12 in Groton, Ct, and go three lights. Take a right on Lewis ST, then another right onto Clark Trail. We're the third house from the end.>>

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 16, 1999.

Robert, learn to clean up after yourself! :-) Why doesn't it surprise me that your first RD article was humor??? LOL! Congrats on getting your e-mail published!

And to the "Lean, Mean Loving Machine" (something about that reminds me of Burt Reynolds in 'The Longest Yard') :-) you need to eat more rice with your gumbo! Put some MEAT on those bones before Y2K arrives. BTW, would you like to "waltz across Texas" with me? I don't think my husband would mind. :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 16, 1999.

Uh Gayla - are you sure he'd be able to waltz leaning so far backwards? He's short recall - and so has relative short arms....and well, you have certain other attributes that are most favorably distributed .....might tend to tip him over there.

Polka, schotisse, two-step/four-step, waltz, country, round or square, ballroom, latin or jazz - long as I don't have to sing it....

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 16, 1999.

Rob,

Looks like I either keep shattering records... or getting shattered.

*Sigh*

Oh, well... Only the shadow knows and the Mods still wonder. But the DCdude/dudette.org finally stopped and thats what counts!

That reminds me Gayla... time for a cuppa cocoa. (Fooled ya, huh?)

And I also second? half? remand? remind? the Sir Robs vote for Sir Robert... receiving (not dropping) the highest FRL honor...

The Order Of The Fruit.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 16, 1999.