UBJECT: CLASSIFIED MILITARY INTELLIGENCE * If the enemy is in range, so are you. * Incoming fire has the right of way. * Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. * The easy way is always mined. * Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. * Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous. * Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at. * If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed at you. * If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. * Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you. * The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. * When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. * If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid. * When in doubt empty the magazine. * Never share a Fox Hole with anyone braver than you. * Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing. * Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out. * Mines are equal opportunity weapons. * The Quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small. * Five second fuses only last three seconds. * It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. * Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything. _____________________________________________________________________ * A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. _____________________________________________________________________ The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: - When you're ready for them. - When you're not ready for them.

-- DuffyO (duffyo@mailcity.com), July 03, 1999

Answers

"When you're ready for them. - When you're not ready for them."

Great line, liked your idea for a thread. You will never get a lot of people to "get" the second part...it sure would make it a lot easier on the rest of us if they did...

Lets hope that this time the enemy isn't Mister CHEMICAL plant, or something of equal excitment...if it happens in your hometown, you need to be ready for the above advice to apply to *you*.

-- BiGG (supersite@acronet.net), July 03, 1999.

I like the one posted on another thread:

If you're taking flak, you're close to the target.

-- a (a@a.a), July 03, 1999.

a variation on this theme; "Any investment advisor's recommendations become worthless the moment you subscribe to his/her newsletter."

-- Mr.Mike (mikeabn@aol.com), July 03, 1999.

As JC once said,"never forget that your weapon was made by the low bidder".

-- Major Leap (handover@fist.com), July 03, 1999.

That's a good one a. Does that mean I'm nearly there? It sure feels like it lately.......

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 04, 1999.