Please inform me of any web site that deals with the instances where there are situations when men are physically abused by women in their relationships and law doesn't take this seriously. My husband lost his career, was sent to prison over phonecalls he made to his ex-wife during an order of protection that was issued based on lies. I also know of a man who lost his job as a cadet with the state police while still on probation simply because his wife took pictures of bruises on her arms. These bruises were caused by him holding her back in self defense. The minute she pressed charges, he lost his career. They didn't even want to hear his side of the story. I would like to know of more instances where men are abused and then blamed. If any men or women know of any situations similar, please mail your correspondence to Susan Kay Close, 3568 E. 28th Rd., Seneca, IL 61360. I am in the process of accumulating information as I plan to write a book about domestic violence against men. I do respect domestic laws which do protect women who are truly abused, and I am not a believer nor a victim of domestic violence of any kind.

Sincerely,

Susan Kay Dean 3568 E. 28th Rd. Seneca, IL 61360

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

Answers

There is a lot of information on the SAFE webpage.

You can read the book Abused Men, by Phil Cook. Information and links to this book are on the webpage. It it excellent.

You can also ask on the safe-support e-mail group. Directions for joining are on the safe webpage.

Jade

-- Anonymous, July 08, 1999

I just spent over an hour at the website of the National Coalition of Free Men (www.ncfm.org). They have some information and linked me here to SAFE (the URL I had was no good).

Ditto on the book "Abused Men." It convinced me that I wasn't imagining things: a friend of mine really is an abused husband.

NCFM has a links page that downloaded slowly for me, and has a lot of stuff that might not interest you (some very academic reports), but there may be some nuggets among the junk. They also link to organizations all over the world.

Good luck with your research. If you can, I'd like some advice about how to get my abused friend to seek help. He's on a "waiting list" for a psychotherapist and has resisted all pleas to consult an attorney. Short of hog-tying him (which might qualify as abusive, even for good intentions) how do I get him to help himself?

-- Anonymous, March 07, 2000