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FEMA Readies For the Bug: What the Agency Is Doing to Prepare For Y2KPANIC IN THE YEAR ZERO: FEMA Readies For the Bug: What the Agency Is Doing to Prepare For Y2K
By David M. Bresnahan, ) 1999 WorldNetDaily.com
No one knows for sure what, if anything, will go wrong when the new year begins, but FEMA says they are prepared to deal with whatever problems take place. Some FEMA officials are privately telling others to get ready for a tough winter.
"All of us in the business look around at each other and say, what do we expect from this thing? And everyone says, we don't have the slightest idea," admitted Jerry Connolly, FEMA's assistant to the director for the office of Response and Recovery in Washington, D.C.
"The various people in the government don't want to readily admit that anything's going to go wrong because they've spent millions to make sure that everything goes right. At this point, no one knows what to expect. At the same time, if something does go wrong we've got the infrastructure out there that's in place that has the capabilities to address the situation, to expend whatever financial resources are necessary," he explained by phone to WorldNetDaily.
"We might get through this just fine, but the level of preparation we're going through is expensive. That alone should tell you FEMA expects problems," said the source.
Another FEMA official is planning to pick his daughter up from college for Christmas vacation rather than fly her home this year. He said he just isn't willing to take the unnecessary chance that there may be Y2K computer bugs that cause airline safety problems. He said even the smallest problem in a few airports would mean incredible delays and problems all across the country.
"My own feeling is," another FEMA Response and Recovery official said, "I don't subscribe to the level of things, for instance that Gary North suggests (a noted Y2K expert). Those things collectively are not necessarily a cause of a big, massive problem. They'll probably be the cause of something. If things are fragile enough, and I happen to believe the economy as well as society is somewhat fragile, what's going to tip the apple cart? It's hard to say any one thing, but there will be sufficient crazies out there who will use a new century and a new millennium as an excuse to say the old rules no longer apply.
"I don't know what Y2K's going to do. I don't think anybody does. I tend to take a moderate view. It's going to cause at least inconveniences," he concluded.
FEMA is a unique federal agency because they can spend just about any amount they need or want. There is no annual appropriation, and their budget is not set. If there is money left over at the end of the budget year on September 30, that money remains with FEMA. Most other federal agencies lose funds they don't spend by the end of the year, according to Connolly.
When FEMA finds a need, the money is made available. They have been asked to come up with an expectation of what it would cost to deal with 57 Y2K emergency declarations all at once, and as yet they haven't been able to figure that out.
FEMA recently asked each of the states what their greatest needs were in preparing for Y2K problems. Requests came in for generators, communications equipment, and mass care.
"So we went out and we purchased about 1,000 generators, and these were all different sizes. Communications wise we have recently purchased two satellite phones for every state. Just so they can have connectivity with FEMA. We have quite a bit of communications equipment of our own, and if need be, if disaster is declared, we can purchase communications equipment and supply it out there if necessary," explained Connolly.
States need the generators to provide power to essential facilities in the event of Y2K power outages. The expensive satellite phone equipment would be used to enable state government officials the ability to communicate with FEMA and other federal agencies in the event telephone services are down.
"On mass care, we're working with the Red Cross. They're in charge of our mass care. If they need augmentation we're ready to utilize voluntary groups as well. We can pay for rental of space, food, shelter, whatever is needed to manage the shelters, but normally the Red Cross handles all of that, but just in case they were overwhelmed we could support them," said Connolly of the availability of funds.
In the event of disruptions of power, telephone, food supplies and other essential services, the general population may be evacuated to shelters for safety, according to Connolly. The public has been advised by the Red Cross to have 72-hour kits well stocked because it will take three to five days before emergency supplies and shelters can be established in any particular area. Those who are better prepared may not be evacuated, he added.
"As far as we're concerned, it's voluntary (evacuations). But if the local government decides otherwise it would be up to the local government. You see it all the time during hurricanes on the coast. Where they may say the mayor has decided to evacuate the area. Sometimes they enforce it and take everybody out. Other times they allow people to have hurricane parties and what have you. It depends on the locality. There's no federal rule," explained Connolly.
A National Guard officer involved in Y2K contingency planning within the National Guard Bureau expressed concern over the large number of people with electric generators.
"We've discussed the fuel situation. That scares me to death. There are people storing gasoline in all kinds of containers. That alone is a disaster waiting to happen," said the National Guard officer, who has provided significant information to WorldNetDaily for a number of articles. He advised that people with generators should check their local ordinances regarding the proper storage of gasoline to avoid problems if an evacuation is ordered.
"Evacuations are based on who is safe and who is not. You need to have your own food, water, heat and sanitary facilities, and you need to be sure everything about them can be shown to be safe if you want to stay in your home during any kind of disaster," he advised.
If a family has stored supplies for a month or more, and if they are able to remain in their home safely, would evacuation officials leave them in their home?
"That would be my guess," said Connolly, but he added the final decision will be made by local officials on the scene.
Y2K problems may begin well before the start of the new year and extend for several months into it. FEMA and the Department of Defense have established the "Y2K transition date period" as beginning on September 1, 1999 and extending until March 31, 2000.
So what are the FEMA officials doing for their own preparations? What do they recommend when their friends, neighbors, and relatives ask for advice?
"First off, don't panic," said the one who will not let his daughter fly home from college. "Just pretend you're in the north east and you're exposed to ice storms and those kinds of things. The power may go out. What would you be doing? Have enough food in the house to last you a few weeks. Make sure you have some source of heat. Just enough to keep things going.
"You should also be taking out a little bit of cash each week, a little at a time so that when the time comes you've got a few hundred dollars in case you can't get to the bank. Or maybe the ATM's not working, or maybe there's 50,000 people in line at the bank because they're panicked.
"Don't wait until the last minute to buy things. It will be Christmas time. People will be doing lots of buying. Add to that the stocking up that people will do because they think the end is near and you've got trouble. Just quietly put it by and don't get caught in the mess."
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-- Ashton & Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), August 05, 1999
Red Cross Disaster Planning: Preparations Include Shelters In Communities Country-WidePANIC IN THE YEAR ZERO: Red Cross Disaster Planning: Preparations Include Shelters In Communities Country-Wide
By David M. Bresnahan, ) 1999 WorldNetDaily.com
The American Red Cross has established Y2K emergency disaster plans which include providing shelters in virtually every community in the country. They advise families and individuals to plan on being self-sufficient for at least 72-hours when the new year arrives.
There are over 1,300 local Red Cross chapters throughout the United States with over 1.3 million volunteers ready to go into action to provide mass care services in the event of any disaster, including problems caused by the Y2K computer bug.
Michael Logan, senior planner for American Red Cross Disaster Services agreed with FEMA officials who recently expressed concern that Y2K may result in multiple problems which will strain the limited resources available to deal with them.
"There may be a multitude of events happening around the four-hour or eight-hour time frame if you start with Guam or whatever, where midnight occurs in a number of places. There will be a number of small events," said Logan in a phone interview with WorldNetDaily.
"We sometimes overestimate the capability of state and local governments to respond to the needs. What a lot of the federal community's trying to look at is like, our local communities respond just like our chapters do every single day. Police and fire respond every single hour of every single day.
The states aren't familiar with dealing with multiple events in their jurisdictions at the same time," he explained of his concerns.
"It's being able to allocate a number of resources to a number of places at the same time, and then being able to turn to the federal government whenever the state and local assets have been depleted to provide whatever support will be required," Logan stated.
The Red Cross is part of a network of 25 federal agencies working under the direction of the Federal Emergency Management Agency to prepare for potential disasters throughout the country if the Y2K millennium bug causes problems. The primary role of the Red Cross is to establish and operate shelters for large numbers of people who may be forced out of their homes when the new year dawns.
"Over the past few months, the Red Cross has asked local chapters to survey their local areas to find facilities that will be available for shelter use. They have also been asked to find facilities that already have generators available," explained Logan.
Local Red Cross chapters have been actively updating their lists of potential shelter locations to be ready for the Y2K threat. The most desired shelters are large schools with shower and kitchen facilities. If schools are not available, churches become the next best location, according to Logan.
Because the greatest threat of the Y2K bug is the potential loss of electric power, the Red Cross is now looking for shelter locations that are already equipped with emergency power generators. Such locations are hard to find, and FEMA has ordered 1,000 generators to be sent to locations all over the country in advance of the new year -- just in case.
"We anticipate that the majority of state and local emergency operations centers will be activated for the period surrounding New Year's Eve. We anticipate that we will have Red Cross staff physically present in those EOCs during their activation period. Once a local emergency management is made aware of a situation of whatever origin, whether it's Y2K, a drunk who hits a power pole, or a snow storm, in a situation requiring sheltering, they'll turn to the Red Cross," stated Logan.
Some communities will have no problems while others will be confronted with various emergencies, according to Logan. Red Cross workers will be moved to the areas that need them the most.
In addition to the 1.3 million volunteers, the Red Cross has over 30,000 other trained staff who will be on call 24-hours a day coordinated by the disaster services human resources system of the Red Cross national office.
"If there were multiple locations that would require external support, we've got people across the country who would not be affected who we could then bring in to the affected area to provide the necessary support," explained Logan.
The national office of the Red Cross is Y2K compliant, has backup generators, as well as satellite telephones for use if Y2K causes a loss of telephone service.
If a disaster is declared by local or national government officials, it will take several days to establish shelters for mass care of people. Local fire and police officers will most likely go door to door in affected areas to let people know of the availability of shelters. Once people arrive at the shelters the work of the Red Cross will really begin. All those people will need to eat.
During the first few days of life in a Red Cross shelter, food will come from the surrounding community through various resources already in place.
"Relationships have already been established with various vendors of food and supplies," Logan explained. Fast food restaurants will supply some short-term needs, and long-term supplies have been arranged. Stockpiles of food are also available within schools which would be replenished by Red Cross after the event. In addition, the Red Cross provides receipts for donated food from restaurants which can be used for tax deductions.
When the power goes out for any length of time, restaurants can either watch their food go bad, or they can donate it to the Red Cross for a tax receipt.
"Shelter residents have been known in the past to have filet mignon in the shelter and lobsters," said Logan.
After local resources are used, long-term supplies will be brought in if people remain in shelters for longer periods.
"Our chapters have got resources. They've got warehouses. The ones in New York State have got warehouses of resources that they can employ for response to a winter storm and power outages. The folks down south have got different storages based on their risks. That's the first line of response, the resources the chapter already has available.
"We then have several warehouses around the country called disaster field supply centers that have got back up material available in those. We also have what we call our emergency response vehicles," explained Logan.
There are several hundred emergency response vehicles the Red Cross can use to move supplies from areas where they are not needed into areas faced with disaster. Commercial trucking would also be used where needed.
"Without trying to lessen the potential impact of the event or trying to oversimplify it, for our organization it's business as usual. The 1,300 chapters that we have across the country that cover every square inch of the nation and its territories stand ready at any moment to respond to any disaster event that would occur in their community. That's what we're preparing for, whatever the impact of a Y2K event. We're preparing for the shelter. The mass care. Whether it's from a driver who runs into a power pole and puts his community without power or it's a computer glitch that puts them without power. The end result is our job," declared Logan.
The Red Cross has a web site and provides a checklist designed to help people prepare for a Y2K emergency. Logan says he wants every person in America to be prepared to go it alone for at least 72 hours.
"Saying that folks should go out and get a 72-hour kit, I'm not sure what that would mean. What we would want folks to do is to be prepared and self-sufficient for 72 hours following a disaster," explained Logan. "The important thing is building that in collaboration with the development of a family disaster plan."
He said that this should be just the start, not the end of family disaster planning and preparedness. However, he was not prepared to recommend that families store more than a few days supply of food.
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-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), August 05, 1999.
Here's the section that gave me a wee thrill of terror:""Evacuations are based on who is safe and who is not. You need to have your own food, water, heat and sanitary facilities, and you need to be sure everything about them can be *shown* to be safe if you want to stay in your home during any kind of disaster," (*'s added) he advised.
It's that "shown" that bothers me most.
To whom are we to demonstrate our home's "food, water, heat and sanitary facilities"?
Does this mean someone will be INSPECTING my kitchen, pump, heater, and bathroom???? Who says I HAVE to let them in????
Anita Evangelista
-- Anita Evangelista (ale@townsqr.com), August 05, 1999.
Anita, really!Can we not just show them a polaroid?
What on earth..... did you see the bait job with the lobsters & filet? Next they'll be bragging about Playstations!
-- really (lisa@work.now), August 05, 1999.
Let's see, check food, good, hhmmm you have *lots* there (more than your family needs); check water, good, hhmmm you have *lots* there, including a nice expensive filter, more than your family needs; check heat, good, you have *lots* of wood for your woodburning stove, many dry cords; check sanitary facilities, my you have *lots* of TP, two composting toilets, very good.Here are your choices:
#1) you can "donate" these nice supplies to your local shelter and keep another 3 day's worth for your family and stay in your home;
#2) you can refuse to donate and go to the shelter now, and we'll relieve your home of the extra "hoard" ;
#3) you can keep all your supplies and sign here for your home to become a shelter. Expect 20 people in need to arrive at your doorstep by 7/p tonight.
;^)
Actually it was good to read that some plans are being made and some consideration given to the masses for "care." Conditions in those shelters are not comfortable, to say the least. This has been discussed on many previous threads. To the archives, newbies!
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-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), August 05, 1999.
Ashton & Leska,Thanks for posting this.
I had meeting with local Cincinnati Red Cross at my church Mason, Ohio yesterday in order to audit our new church facillity as a shelter if necessary. Some interesting points I learned are:
The decision to open shelters is a local one. In Cincy, a shelter would be opened if 100 or more people are in need of shelter. Once the decision is made to open the shelter, Red Cross makes a preinspection and will cover all damages that occur during the emergency. In the event of Y2K, a shelter could be opened in 1-2 hours after a significant event but delivery of generators in event of power outage could take 1-2 days -see below.
Once opened the Red Cross will supply a staff of 15 and supply food and water as needed for duration of emergency. Red Cross has pre- established funding and relationships with big donors like Home Depot, WalMart etc to get whatever is needed on a priority basis. Our church has some nurses and doctors and others that will receive free Red Cross training at our church in next few months.
Red Cross estimates carrying capacity of a shelter at 40 sq ft per person. Our church has over 30,000 sq ft so RC estimates we could shelter as many as 750 people. They will supply cots as needed. So after the cot there is little room left in a 4 foot by 10 foot per person space - it could be crowded.
Red Cross funding varies by region, in Cincinnati, the local Red Cross owns three semi tractor trailers to move cots, food, water and small gen set (for food warming) as needed to various shelters. If power goes out they will make radio contact with Ohio Emergency Management Agency for delivery of diesel generator and fuel.
If the Red Cross funding is exhausted, during an emergency FEMA will make up the difference to maintain mass care for duration of emergency.
Red Cross prefers to have shelters separate from emergency command centers and hospital/clinincs. Injured would be sent to another location for care.
The Red Cross routinely works from the paradigm that help is available from the area outside of a local disaster. No one is yet prepared for a simultaneous, multi-location disruption to infrastructure. As of today there are too few shelters established.
I expect our church will approve the establishment of a shelter.
Thanks again for posting.
-- Bill P (porterwn@one.net), August 05, 1999.
Playstation rocks!I'm bringing mine with me when/if I "Bug Out":)
-- CygnusXI (noburnt@toast.net), August 05, 1999.
Bill P, you are very welcome, and congratulations on helping others. Good luck; hope the shelter need is not overwhelming.
-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), August 05, 1999.
I'm VERY glad that planning is being done. I am very concerned that too few in the planning agencies will be able to get "outside the box" as far as the consequence of truly widespread problems of various levels.Yes, they expect trouble. Good. They are neither clueless nor fools. But a mindset is a very difficult thing to break out of.
-- Jon Williamson (jwilliamson003@sprintmail.com), August 05, 1999.
Bill said: "Once opened the Red Cross will supply a staff of 15 and supply food and water as needed for duration of emergency. Red Cross has pre- established funding and relationships with big donors like Home Depot, WalMart etc to get whatever is needed on a priority basis. Our church has some nurses and doctors and others that will receive free Red Cross training at our church in next few months."Here in my small midwestern town, I am one of the nurses who is receiving this "training" -- and, I gotta tell you, if lives depend on this program, many will die.
We have NO food storage -- but McDonalds will provide one (1) meal to anyone in a shelter. The national Red Cross has decided that our town of 10,000 will shelter 2,500 people -- but we have NO facility sufficient, including churches, to house and care for that many. At the other end of the state, the Red Cross has a semi loaded with cots, blankets, diapers, nursing formula, etc -- but it is about 500 miles away....and there is only one (1) semi for the entire state.
The current -- and I mean right down to this minute -- preparations for our town consist of three plastic boxes with enough paperwork to process 300 shelter occupants.
That is it!!! That is the entire preparation this town has taken for y2k or any other disaster.
Somehow, this does not make me feel any safer at all.
Anita Evangelista
-- Anita Evangelista (ale@townsqr.com), August 05, 1999.
Anita,Two years ago we had a mandatory evacuation for threatened flooding and I participated in the command center at first, calling elderly/homebound folks to arrange transport for them and scrambling to find new evac. sites when the numbers kept growing. Called on friends in a nearby mountain community and they started prepping the community center. Red Cross assured us that day that supplies would be forthcoming by nightfall (cots, blankets, pillows, etc.).... it came approx. 3 days later. Later in the event while actually transporting these folks to evac. centers I was encountering school gyms with no electricity and here we were dumping invalids (some incapable of speech or with swallowing deficits post CVA) on a mat on the floor. Other centers had no toilet paper, cots, etc. When I called Red Cross they said they were out of supplies - there was another event happening at the same time (in Texas I think) and there just was not enough to go around.
I was so pround of my friends and former neighbors in the little mountain community .... they pulled together and made it happen. Folks brought blankets, etc. from their homes and made meals for these elderly folks. Laughed when Red Cross showed up days later with supplies. And we are supposed to believe that they can provide for MANY people if we have even a FEW "localized" problems?????
-- Kristi (securxsys@cs.com), August 05, 1999.
I want to know what the contigency plan is for a village that loses power and water for a couple of weeks. Oh, and let's call that village "Atlanta."
-- Dog Gone (layinglow@rollover.now), August 05, 1999.
From: Y2K, ` la Carte by Dancr near Monterey, California"Evacuations are based on who is safe and who is not. You need to have your own food, water, heat and sanitary facilities, and you need to be sure everything about them can be shown to be safe if you want to stay in your home during any kind of disaster," he advised.
If a family has stored supplies for a month or more, and if they are able to remain in their home safely, would evacuation officials leave them in their home?
"That would be my guess," said Connolly, but he added the final decision will be made by local officials on the scene.
Keep a decoy 72-hour kit in your entry closet. Include a luggable loo, even if you have a composting toilet somewhere else. Include a small quantity of bleach, even if you have a Berky in the kitchen. Somehow, find out in advance what the cut off point is for leaving you alone, without having them confiscate your goods, and display exactly that amount.
Someone, please e-mail me if this post screws up the formatting of this thread. I'm experimenting.
-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage.neener.autospammers--regrets.greenspun), August 05, 1999.
FEMA commented:"So what are the FEMA officials doing for their own preparations? What do they recommend when their friends, neighbors, and relatives ask for advice?
"First off, don't panic," said the one who will not let his daughter fly home from college. "Just pretend you're in the north east and you're exposed to ice storms and those kinds of things. The power may go out. What would you be doing? Have enough food in the house to last you a few weeks. Make sure you have some source of heat. Just enough to keep things going.
"You should also be taking out a little bit of cash each week, a little at a time so that when the time comes you've got a few hundred dollars in case you can't get to the bank. Or maybe the ATM's not working, or maybe there's 50,000 people in line at the bank because they're panicked. "
-- Ray (ray@totacc.com), August 05, 1999.
Oooops, didn't quite finish. I thought these comments on the part of FEMA indicate they are reving up the preparation rhetoric !!Ray
-- Ray (ray@totacc.com), August 05, 1999.
Dancr -Excellent advice, similar to one way we used to trap hackers on a system I admin'ed. We created a "dummy entrance" that looked enough like the real system to keep 'em interested, but which actually served as a way to track 'em and keep them out of the production system.
I like this idea of "dummy" supply boxes -- maybe one of those nifty "Preparedness Nuggets" boxes suggested elsewhere with the equivalent of 1 week's worth of supplies for 4 people. Keep that near an entrance and show it to the friendly folks from FEMA, then encourage them to move along to help the next house.
"These are not the droids you're looking for..."
-- Mac (sneak@lurk.hid), August 05, 1999.
Yes Mac!The Force can have a strong influence on the weak minded.
Especially if you're packing an M-16 with the safety off when they show up at your door to collect your "Voluntary contribution" to the local larder. Leaving you to the mercy of ...whatever.
Who's the more fool? The fool, or the fool who follows him?
-- INVAR (gundark@sw.net), August 05, 1999.
Thanks A & L. It's good that this info is beginning to leak out.The puzzled look on my face stems from my inability to comprehend why we hear this information from David M. Bresnahan at WorldNetDaily & not our local newspapers, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, etc..
I know, I know...
-- Bingo1 (howe9@pop.shentel.net), August 05, 1999.
The dummy prep is a great idea.On the other hand, as the authorities put the mark on your door that you have 'sufficient preps', does that mark you to potential thugs and looters?
-- Tom (nomail@nomail.com), August 05, 1999.
From above - they are expecting to shelter 2500 from a town of 10,000.Hmmmn. That's about the same percentage of Americans who claim (in various public opinion polls) thay don't think anything will happen due to y2k, and who ar emaking no preparations at all.
Now, about that "little village" of Atlanta, of Washington DC, of New York, of Philly, of Pittsburg, of Chicago.....where perhaps 250,000 (or 500,000 or 750,000) in each "village" will need food, shelter, heat, and light......
-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 05, 1999.
Ask me for a contribution, and I will give. "Ask" to inspect, and die. I will help as I can, voluntarily. Tell me what I must do, and I will resist to the extreme.I do not anticipate my position is either extreme, or exclusive.
Government shills take notice: Leave Alaskans, and the "Old Ones" in _any_ State, alone.
-- A. Hambley (a.hambley@usa.net), August 05, 1999.
Bill, unless things have changed, those 3 semo's are probably siting at the DFSC in Dayton. though they MAY belong to Cinci. Cleve has 4 lil' trailers, 50 each cots and 100 blankets in each....ARC PLANS that each chapter can handle 72 hours, and that at 75 hours, there are National personnel in place with supplies from a DFSC (2 max per state) coming. USUALLY, the supplies from the DFSC are PAPERWORK and LOGISTICAL PLANNING supplies, and the feeding etc is done through DO's and contracts with national chains and local businesses.
Your local ARC SHOULD have a shelter inventory, as well as an inventory of suppliers under contingency contract, which would mean that the ARC can get to the head of ANY LINE in the respective contracted stores for shelter supplies.
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AS far as DHS (Disaster Health Services) goes, nurses are trained on the forms required, as well as the protocols (ooops Medics have protocols, Nurses have Standing Orders) that have (hopefully) been pre-signed by a local doctor, and are RE-SIGNED at the inception of a sheltering incident, to allow the nurses to treat. The protocols were in the 3050 but I understand that the number of the protocols has changed.
If you are a nurse in a shelter, you really do NOT have a lot of invasive options, regardless of need. If you are not lucky enough to have a doc who is not a neurologist or opthamologist (no offense meant, I've just had bad trauma treatment experiences with those specialties) you are in DEEP STUFF. Honestly, you would be better off with a creative vetrinarian or podiatrist.
chuck, who has actually run a shelter for about 5 hours, and was BLESSEDLY relieved by another fool who walked in with both arms the same length and the requisite training.
-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), August 06, 1999.
CPR gets Visitors
[Jan. 4, Dallas, 7:00am. 17 degrees, power, phones and water out. CPR is huddled in the corner of his office, idly burning in a dutch oven 8X11 pieces from a manilla folder marked "FBI", sucking on pebbles to avoid dehydration, hears a knock on the door.]
CPR: Doc? Is that you?
Voices: It's FEMA. We've come to take you to the warming shelter. We're having a lobster boil, and a filet mignon BBQ tonight.
CPR: DOOM ZOMBIES! GIT! This is a BUSINESS and TECHNICAL problem!
FEMA: Mr. Reuben, power may not be restored for another week...
CPR: [Thrusts a copy of the final NERC report to DOE, from Aug.3] HERE! Take THIS back to your FEAR SWAMP! Y2K is OVER!!!
FEMA: [Head guy turns his head, mutters: "Gimme the duct tape..."] Mr. Reuben, you don't appear to be prepared to handle this...
CPR: PREPARE? PREPARE FOR WHAT!?!?! Dallas was the FIRST American city to be COMPLIANT!!
FEMA: [Same guy turns around, whispers: "200 cc Thorazine, stat."] If you'll just pack some underwear and a shaving kit-
CPR: Do you SEE how STUPID you look? IBM: UP 2 1/2!!!
FEMA: [whispers: "make that 400 cc, dart him now"] Mr. Reuben -
CPR: WHERE are all the EXAMPLES of FAILURE!?!?!?
FEMA: ["OK, he's starting to stagger, get the net"]
CPR: [mumbling] The ALAMO! Did they suc...cumb...to... [snooze]
-- lisa (lisa@work.now), August 06, 1999.