Most of you have probably seen this, but some of you may have not:

If you want to hear it with music, go to:

http://www.freeyellow.com/members5/8002000bug/index.html

THE DAY COMPUTERS DIED

by Duane Schwingel

Long, long, time ago, I can still remember
How computers used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance,
I could make those PCs dance
And maybe they'd keep working for a while!

But February made me bitter--Every email I'd consider
Bad news of the bug's ghost--
I couldn't take one more post!

I can't remember if I whined New Year's Eve of 1999...
Something bit my big behind
The Day Computers Died

So bye, bye, my computer bye bye,
Drove my Pentium to the memory but the memory was fried
And them good old boys were stockin up to survive
Singing "this'll be the day that I die...
This'll be the day that I die."

Did you write two-digit plugs?
Is it you that made 2000 Bug?
Everybody tells me so.
Now are you to blame for COBOL code?
Can digits save our mortal souls? And...
Can you teach me FORTRAN real slow?

Well I know you've got the goods on them
Cuz I saw the bucks they're sinking in
You both broke the bad news
But I did not get all the clues
I was an ornery redneck stompin cus
In a pinko nation with a micro lust
But I knew I'd survive or bust
The day computers died
And we were singing...(chorus)

Now for ten years we've been on our own
And time flows when you've got a phone, but
That's not how it use to be
When DeJager sang for the king and queen
With a song he borrowed from our dreams
And a voice, well it came from you and me
And while the king was dumbing down
DeJager stole his cyber crown
The courtroom was adjourned--no verdict was returned
And while Clinton read a book on Marx
The geeks kept practicing their parts
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day computers died
And we were singing...(chorus)

Helter skelter in a summer swelter
Al Gore came out of his fallout shelter
Polls were high, but falling fast
Landing on the cash
The players tried for a forward pass
And DeJager, on the sidelines, in a cast
And as I watched on his web page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No programmer from hell
Could make those date codes gel
Hey, and while flames piled high into the night
To light the paths of geeks in flight
I saw Bill Gates laughing with delight
The day computers died
And he was singing...(chorus)

I knew a geek who now shines shoes
And I asked him for some CPUs
He just smiled and turned away
So I went back to the Jiffy Store
Where I played PacMan years before
But the man there said the puters wouldn't play

The silence was so loud it seemed
Programmers cried and poets screamed
But not a word was spoken
The PCs all were broken...
And the leaders I admired the most
Who calmed our fears that we'd be toast
They're on their islands off the coast
The day computers died
And now they're singing...(chorus)


-- Duane Schwingel (duane@mytalk.com), August 05, 1999

Answers

Both of your works of art are grand! LOL!!! Welcome!

(Now, if you really want to score some points over here at TB2000, do you think that you can whip up a polly-satire similar to ITS THE CODE, but more along the lines of "Its the Meme"??? (Aparently pronounced "MEEM".) Pollys use this ridiculous psycho-babble "meme" thingy to try to explain away bad code, over here at TB2000.)

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), August 05, 1999.

Duane!!!

Hi toots! Happy to see you here. Your genius was wasted at csy2k.

-- R (riversoma@aol.com), August 05, 1999.

Weird Al Yankovitch would love this one Duane - I think you should cash in while you still have a chance to spend it!!! )

bravo!

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), August 05, 1999.

I feel so loved here.... This is almost like joining a cult...

:)

-- Duane Schwingel (duane@mytalk.com), August 05, 1999.

*rolling out the welcome wagon* heheheheh you catch on fast, Duane BBWWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA memer memer infectious seer! (psst, reading threads will leave you sleepless, too, but we don't sell flowers; airports are non-compliant!)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), August 05, 1999.

I'm gonna learn that on the guitar...

-- (pshannon@inch.com), August 05, 1999.

Welcome Duane. Really enjoyed your site. I look forward to the next one.

-- Lobo (atthelair@yahoo.com), August 05, 1999.

Hey Duane,

Always good to see a new face, and a few valuable contributions. Nothing personal, but screw csy2k, hang with us!!! <:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), August 05, 1999.

Great effort, Duane! Keep it up, and keep posting here. We need all the humor and intelligence we can get. Something wicked this way comes...

-- Nabi Davidson (nabi7@yahoo.com), August 05, 1999.

Can't get the music to play when I go to the song site. What plug-in do you need to here it?

-- It's (humor@thelast.min), August 05, 1999.

Duane, another wonderful one! You simply must stay. Yes, our pet trolls will be slithering out from under their bridge very soon to cackle that, indeed, you have encountered the Cult of Doom (scary pipe organ music may be supplied by the poster known as "music maestro").

King of Spain, great idea!

-- RUOK (RUOK@yesiam.com), August 05, 1999.

You all might also enjoy the poem "&&" posted on this thread:

Another good one!

-- RUOK (RUOK@yesiam.com), August 05, 1999.

What a crowd.... I tried to contact King of Spain to oblige his reply, but madrid@aol.com was returned unknown...

Is that the cool thing to do? give fake email addresses? some of those I see in here don't look real... :)

Somebody give me some links to "meme" posts, and I will see what I can do...

duane@mytalk.com

-- Duane Schwingel (duane@mytalk.com), August 05, 1999.

Duane,

Not many speak to both halves of the brain. You do, and your talents are not only welcome here, but sadly needed.

A true "Troll" only has half a brain, and thus music, art and poetry are beyond them and they appear very confused in such presence, if they appear at all.

Your peotry has already created at least two threads that exemplify what this forum used to be all about.

Yes, Duane, please stay. And, please continue.

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), August 06, 1999.

Or check out Doing the Midnight Shift

-- ? (nope@not.me), August 06, 1999.

Good job Duane!

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), August 06, 1999.

Duane said:

"I feel so loved here.... This is almost like joining a cult..."

...it is exactly like joining a cult. Did you bring the koolaid?

-- Y2K Pro (y2kpro1@hotmail.com), August 06, 1999.

"Y2K Pro" UNMASKED!!

-- (photo@identity.bureau), August 06, 1999.