Have you had a sneaking suspicion that you work or live with the undead? Have you noticed strange behavior that you just have to write down here so that someone knows to look for you if you disappear?

Vampires, werewolves, ghosts, gremlins, mummies-- what do you see all around?

(insert whispery voice here)or do you see dead people?(end whispery voice)

-- Anonymous, August 10, 1999

Answers

My roommate is a zombie. For real. He can sit in front of the computer and not even blink for 7 hours straight. The only thing that moves are his fingers, which I think is just a twitch.

He doesn't drink blood though, he is a special breed of zombie. Once every...oh, maybe 15 hours or so...he'll slowly get up from the computer and go get a Devil Dog. Then he'll go back to the computer.

One time I saw him come out of his room in the m iddle of the night and watched him walk into the wall. I jumped up and screamed "I knew it! You are the undead! Be gone or I will confiscate your Devil Dogs and you will then be destroyed!!"

It worked.

Since then he at least attempts to not show me how much of a zombie he is. Now when he sits at the computer for 7 or more hours, when his fingers twitch as he writes to women on America Online, he manages to actually speak sometimes. On occasion, I've heard him yell out "You're boring! Cancel!" at the screen.

It's a start.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 1999

Oh my God, Maggie, you live with MY roommate!!

Except my roommate is gay.

He's currently unemployed (and collecting...aren't you glad your tax dollars are supporting the unemployed people with degrees in theatre who refuse to do anything else?) and stays home all day. Not just home, in his bedroom. Which is painted dark blue. And he keeps all the blinds shut and the door closed.

He also is an online junkie, staying up til all hours of the night (and morning) meeting men on ICQ. Occasionally after the sun goes down he might venture out to meet one of them. More often, though, he sits around in his Darth Maul boxer shorts watching the Game Show Network and writing down recipes from the Food Network which he'll never cook, because by the time he leaves his room every day all the mealtimes are over.

Melissa

-- Anonymous, August 10, 1999

That sounds like an ideal work environment for me! Some of us are not made for the day or for living. That sounds like paradise. A computer, dark, cold, graveyard shift. Absolute paradise. Absolute job satisfaction. No kidding.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 1999

Not to be the harsh realist, but isn't it a commonly known fact that vampires and computer programmers exhibit the same symptoms? Not that I'm suggesting any kind of connection here, I'm just noting that this little "technological age" of ours seems to be making the number of computer programmers in the world increase rather rapidly.

Oh yes, and I know a lady whose driver's license says she's in her late fifties, but she looks like a woman in her mid-thirties, and the other teachers at the elementary school where she teaches basic algebra to eighth-graders swear she's been there at least twice that long. Kids, always do your math homework when your teacher is undead, or something.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 1999

First off, my roommate is a zombie, too. He sleeps like 14 hours a day and I think he can use telepathy with the dog since they spend so much time together. He kind of looks like a zombie when he eats, too. Only instead of feeding on brains he seems to prefer cereal, like 5 times a day... and the really sugary kind at that. Plus, he keeps it in the refrigerator- there's just something unnatural about that.

Now as for work, I know the graveyard shifters. You see, I'm one of them. And we complain, but we have enough time to talk to each other at night that we vent quite fully and don't have any need to complain further. Plus, we don't trust the day workers. OK, so the people who come in at like 10 or later are OK, but the people who get here at 5:50 just to make sure they are logged in on time for their 6am shift and are all happy and chirp "Good Morning!" just as I am about to fall into a coma while waiting for my shift to end; well, that ain't right in my book and I don't want to deal with them any more than I have to.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

no.

I *am* the undead.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Well...

I think it's the other way around in my office. Most of the people here don't come from a "programming" background. Only a few people understand my obscure Star Wars and other geek references. I print out the extremely funny userfriendly strips but only a handful seem to chuckle at them.

They are all... well... frighteningly normal. I tend to stick out when you scan the company because I'm on the geeky side and have a lot of quirks. My desk is clearly more playful than most: I have origami flowers and ivy and butterflies gracing my monitor, lots of little toys and trinkets everywhere, movie postcards displayed all around my cubicle.

I like grey, but I wanted to add a bit more cheeriness into the space that I spend 8+ hours a day in. I get weird stares from the others 'cause of it.

‰

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

My zombie/vampire coworker quit.. I'm glad cause he scared me. He was really tall and creepy and never spoke... I think the other vampires are more circumspect here though.. My lover is a vampire.. he never goes out in the sun. He won't swim with me during the day. He sleeps ina dark tiny room full of old crucifixes. And he tries to bite through my neck a lot..

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999