THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY D.C. WON'T BE VAPORIZED BY TERRORIST NUKES.

10. Why would you blow up your friends? 9. Would YOU vaporize the parasites sapping taxpayers' energies? 8. Hey, you gotta have someone sign the surrender papers! 7. Speaking of signing, what about your foreign aid check? 6. The Smithsonian is in D.C. 5. The beavers are making a comeback in the Potomac. 4. The Metro system is really a bargain! Really! 3. Not really fair to attack someone who looses the 'football.' 2. The Redskins already have a new owner.

And finally, the number one reason not to worry about a nuke attack on D.C. . . .

1. Who do you think is giving the order to strike, anyway?

-- Woodpile (whynot@zog.com), August 11, 1999

Answers

How about: Because they are doing it to themselves by holding an outdoor new years party this year?

-- Mad Monk (madmonk@hawaiian.net), August 12, 1999.