Humor from the Navy 2000 site

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Found this on the Chief Naval Operations site. Y2K Lite. This gives you some idea what the Navy thinks about the Y2K problem. I know it is suppose to be humor But this an official site from our benevolent government. Check out Gary South.

http://www.cnoy2k.navy.mil/ny2k/ny2k.htm

Martin

-- Martin (Martin@aol.com), August 21, 1999

Answers

Was going to paste this but these old fingers didn't oblige. I have been around this site for the a long time and do not remember seeing this before.

Martin

Gary Souths's Y2K Links and Forums The Year 2000 Problem: The Year the Earth Implodes

We've got a problem. More specifically, you've got a problem. Your problem is that you are going to die real soon. You and countless billions of other lost souls will soon perish in mortal agony. I presume this fact is of interest to you. Imminent death has a way of focusing one's attention.

Me? I don't have this problem. I live in an Armed Survival Compound in Arkansas, safely surrounded by the proper kind of food, the proper kind of wife (study your Old Testament), and a pack of vicious attack dogs. I also have electric barb wire, a solar array system, a propane- powered VCR, a set of machine guns and over a ton of bibles. I have all the essentials, yes I do. I'm set to survive. You, in contrast, are toast.

What is the problem I speak of? Well, it is the second biggest problem that the world has ever faced. The biggest problem the world ever faced was when that thing pummeled the Earth back in the Cretaceous, killing off all those poor dinosaurs. A huge comet, or asteroid, or something else big and really bad, smashed into the planet near the present-day Yucatan peninsula. The subsequent blast incinerated all life within thousands of miles. Then fire rained down from the sky, starting forest fires that burnt the rest of the planet to a crisp. Then tidal waves reaching into the stratosphere drowned the continents under trillions of tons of water. Then planetary dust clouds plunged the world into absolute darkness for centuries, smothering out almost all life that remained. What a mess. Not one of our better days. Well, our problem isn't quite as big as that asteroid/dinosaur thing, but it's darn close.

It's called the year 2000 problem. It's also called the millennium bug, y2k, and (misspelled), the millenium time bomb. It's also called every nutcase's dream. It doesn't matter how you spell it, or even if you can spell, or even if you are a nutcase, although this helps. What matters is that it is here, bigger than life, and ready to rip your liver out.

Think of what happens if the following areas go down and stay down for months or years or even centuries: banks, railroads, public utilities, telephone lines, chocolate factories, financial markets and TV. Especially TV. When TV goes down Western Civilization crumbles. Think: no WrestleMania, no Home Shopping Network, no endless series of cartoons and action movies. Instead, all the action will be taking place outside. No need to watch a movie about Mutated Radioactive Liberal Bikers killing and raping their way across a post- apocalyptic landscape. That movie will be taking place on your own front lawn, in glorious living color and wraparound sound. And you'll even get to play a part. Won't that be special!

Is this possible? Is the Pope celibate? Am I a raving Grade-A lunatic? You see, it's far more than merely possible. It is a certainity. One man who thinks that we're all dead is Ed Yourdon, one of America's senior mainframe computer programmers, author of two dozen books on programming. He and his daughter have written a book, TIME BOMB 2000. In this book Ed predicts the end of the world, or at least, Upper Manhatten. You can go buy this book if you like, at finer bookstores and grocery checkout lines near you. Among other predictions, Ed believes programmers will flee the cities before the meltdown occurs. Will they flee? Of course they'll flee. Geeks are very smart, that's why they're geeks. Already they are retreating into darkened caves and learning how to start fires by banging rocks together. They're learning how to tan hides and hunt mammoths with spears. Should you be worried? You bet! There aren't any mammoths! They're extinct! When the former programmers discover this they will be seriously upset and will cast around for other sources of protein. You know what that means.

On or before January 1, 2000, the world's stock markets will have crashed. The tax system will have crashed (all governments will come to resemble Russia, except with less vodka). The power and telephone system will have crashed. Your company payroll check will have crashed. Planes will have crashed. In fact, just about everything that involves a moving electron will have crashed. We'll be back to the Neanderthal days, shuffling and grunting around in the darkness, wondering where to find a good cappuccino.

People will go beserk when they see their lives vanish, when their financial statements suddenly register a negative million balance. Guns and knives will be drawn. Millions will take to the streets, killing everything in sight. Women, children, pets, it won't matter. They'll be mowed down indiscrimantly. It will be like Detroit. On a bad day.

Everything is tied together by computers. Yes, everything. And the y2k bug is tied into the computers. This bug can't be fixed. Therefore, everything will shortly become untied. You can study this logic on a number of sites, including one authored by Gary North.

Our first response when we hear this news is: denial. Our second response is: how do I turn a profit from this experience? Well, first you need to decide not to die. Then you need to take a step-by-step approach to somehow play this y2k thing to your maximum advantage.

That's what this site is for!

Ok, you don't want to die. And you want to come out on top after y2k, maybe even improve your life and self-esteem. So what do you do next? Well, you start by sending me all your money. I take checks and cash. No credit cards please. Next, you study this site carefully. It will provide everything you need to know to succeed in y2k and beyond. How to survive, how to profit, how to get food and water, how to establish an Armed Survival Compound, and how to form a successful cult - you'll find it all in here.

By the way, I'm not a programmer. My Ph.D. is in zoology. What this has to do with anything I don't know. I mention it mainly so as to impress you with my Ph.D.

Want to know more? Click below to receive my free report. "The Doomsday Report - How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Apocalypse" is ideal for introducing the problem to wives, girlfriends, attractive unattached females and anyone else you'd like to brainwash and move into your Armed Survival Compound. You can receive a copy in a few minutes.

Or you can proceed directly to the forums. As the months go by I will add more information to them, so stay tuned. Together we will somehow survive y2k and perhaps emerge from it as better human beings.

In the meantime, don't forget that part about sending me money

-- Martin Thompson (Martin@aol.com), August 21, 1999.


And the text isn't even the half of it...They hyperlink "wife" to an apparantly pregnant Belly dancer, Gary North to a picture of a PIG, etc...The link to Yourdon is just to his web site where Ed's picture is...at least they treat Ed with some respect!!!

Nice to know that as the number of ships in the Navy declines, they can portray TAXPAYING North as a PIG!!

Was the activity APPROVED by Congress, or is this misappropriation of funds...Something about the Anti Defficiency Act!!



-- K. Stevens (kstevens@ It's ALL going away in January.com), August 21, 1999.


Folks, this isn't official Navy policy. What you are clicking on over there is a hyperlink to the Gary South Website. It is a debunker website that went up not long after North's website went up. I still think it is totally inappropriate to be on the CNO's website, but it is a hyperlink and not part of their website. Just a clarification.

-- Don Wegner (dwegner@cheyenneweb.com), August 21, 1999.

Maybe not official Navy policy But why a link to that site. Why not a link to this site? Many good Prep sites to link to. Still believe if they allow that they must think that.

Martin

-- Martin Thompson (Martin@aol.com), August 21, 1999.


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