Ok. I'm taking early request, my magic wantwand is poised, and I have a 100% satisfaction guarantee for delivery before the big new M. So, what will ye have, fellow travelers in these most strange times? Only one wish per customer, no fair wishing for more wishes, so make it PUUUUrfect.

-- The Good Fairy (Godmother@wand.ask), August 25, 1999

Answers

That we would all awaken from a collective nightmare and discover that it was all a result of that double anchovy and garlic pizza we shared last night along with that bag of chocolate eclairs and that all was right with the world. The Clintons weren't in the White House but instead were sharing a tin roofed shack outside the town of Brokedown and argueing constantly (sort of like the TV-movie Haunts of the Very Rich). It'd be really hot and humid there with billions of mosquitos...

-- Dreamer (Dreamer@wishfulthinking.com), August 25, 1999.

From: Y2K, ` la Carte by Dancr near Monterey, California

The only thing I dare ask for Christmas is to spend it AT HOME, and not crossing the Donner Pass.

-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage.neener.autospammers--regrets.greenspun), August 25, 1999.

A Bump in the Road, and all of my family razzing me for being such a pessimist, with excellent reason.

-- Jon Williamson (jwilliamson003@sprintmail.com), August 25, 1999.

Gold to be priced at $500 or more per oz, from now on.

-- rambo (rambo@thewoods.com), August 25, 1999.

No glitches at all, so I spend my cash on more computer design classes!

-- Margaret (janssm@aol.com), August 25, 1999.

JUSTICE!!

-- CygnusXI (noburnt@toast.net), August 25, 1999.

A leveling of the playing field...---...

-- Les (yoyo@tolate.com), August 25, 1999.

That the Clinton's and all his cronies were sent to a trailer park in Arkansas to live and they have to wear T-shirts that say "I'm Trailer Park White Trash."

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), August 25, 1999.

Let's see....the Budweiser Clydesdale team, a chest of gold coins in the wagon and the canvas wagon cover replaced with a traveling solar panel, batteries included (inverter under the seat) and a tall, dark, handsome and compliant..ooops, I mean Y2k Compliant groom to clean up after them and who also feels fulfilled by such domestic accomplishments as washing dishes and folding laundry. Send picture of horses....

-- LauraA (Laadedah@aol.com), August 25, 1999.

my wish would be that i would get two wishes, then i would wish 1) that the clintons would leave political office and crawl back under the rocks from which they originated (god, forgive me what a bad attitude cuddl), and 2) that y2k would actually turn out to be a "non-event" and i could once again "have a life"!!!!!!

-- tt (cuddluppy@woooohooooo.com), August 25, 1999.

I'll settle for a 5lb black bass.

Absent that, I'd like fuel cells to magically appear everywhere on Dec 15th - enough time for installation and training.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), August 25, 1999.

My first wish is that y2k just goes away. I was very happy with my life pre y2k and would like to go back to it.

My second wish is that Hillery would run for the Presidency. I like her and feel she has more balls than all the boys on the hill combined.

But we only get one wish, so I guess all you gun toters are safe...for now.

Go ahead flame my a$$ off, make my day!!!

-- Mabel Dodge (cynical@me.net), August 25, 1999.

I'll take what Jon ordered.

Just try to take mine away from me Mabel, I dare you.

Oh, and Hillary is a lying bitch, but Bill is a traitor who should be convicted and hanged by a fully Constitutional due process after he is removed from office by a second impeachment.

-- nothere nothere (notherethere@hotmail.com), August 25, 1999.

I wish that America be returned to what it once was.....vast arctic wilderness, covered in ice.

-- Bokonon (bok0non@my-Deja.com), August 25, 1999.

Hillary is not a lying bitch! Maybe her husband is, I don't know... but it's Hillary all the way as far as I'm concerned.

-- Mabel Dodge (cynical@me.net), August 25, 1999.

A block party in my prepped neighborhood, minimal booze, with everyone hanging around, enjoying a new-found sense of community after helping each other get up to speed on Y2k. Watching Times Square on the tube, rejoicing that we aren't there.

All a little nervous, embarrassed, hoping we overdid the preps, hoping for the best, talking about the normal stuff we plan/want to do in 2000 like soldiers talk about being home again. Keeping an eye on the kids, watching for people wandering through who maybe don't live there.

Set up some speakers in the yard, play some old songs. Charcoal some steaks and hot dogs. Hoist a cold one. Hope it doesn't rain.

-- bw (home@puget.sound), August 25, 1999.

I wish that I didn't not need any wishes!

-- (TooShy@tosay.com), August 25, 1999.

That nanotechnology would become a reality right NOW.

-- mar (derigueur2@aol.com), August 25, 1999.

A supercool R.V. with bigscreen T.V., Bose sound, and gold coins filling the storage cabinets. I'm not greedy.

-- Gia (laureltree7@hotmail.com), August 25, 1999.

bw -

I hope your deck is covered 'cause sure as shootin' you aren't going to get sun in the winter when we can't even get it this summer!!! In fact, I think I would wish for a WHOLE week of sun before winter comes and the proverbial BITR.

PPS I'll be up for the BBQ. You do have big screen to watch the Huskies at the Rose Bowl don't you?

-- Valkyrie (anon@please.net), August 25, 1999.

Shucks, I wasn't even *hoping* for sunlight, just hoping for no rain!

Huskies, Huskies, hmmm. They're either football or baseball, but I'm not sure which. No, they won't be on my TV, sorry.

-- bw (home@puget.sound), August 25, 1999.

Mabel,

Hillary claimed that she earned 1,000% interest on here $10,000 investment back in 1979 (while Billy-boy was busy raping Juanita Broaddrick), by reading The Wall Street Journal.

Nobody turns $10,000 into $100,000 trading cattle futures in six months without breaking the law in some way. The guy who made the trades happen for her back then was slapped silly by the CFTC more recently for doing the same thing for other influential clients.

She lied about it at her Pretty-in-Pink news conference back in 1993 or 1994.

If you can face the possibility that Y2K will result in disaster, you can the fact that she's a lying bitch.

-- nothere nothere (notherethere@hotmail.com), August 25, 1999.

December 25: 36' sail boat, with a full set of sails and full tanks of diesel fuel. Fishing and full emergency gear.

January 1: No recession, depression, etc.

I've got more chance of the sail boat than of the January first wish...

-- Mad Monk (madmonk@hawaiian.net), August 25, 1999.