Where's that Can Opener?

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So, my wife says to me, Hon, why don't you get some of that LaChoy Chow Mein out of the pantry for supper tonight? So, I say, Okay. And then I go into our pantry and start looking through six months of stored food for those blue cans. Wow, I say to myself, look at all those canned good! That's incredible. And then, rather smugly, I take my two cans of chow mein and proceed to open them up. I pull open the drawer to find the can opener. And it isn't there. And I look through all the drawers, and still no can opener. Getting hysterical, I start quizzing the kids. And finally my wife, Where's that can opener? And she says, I can't remember. And now everyone gets into the act. A family outting, you might say, Find the Can Opener.

And while we're looking, I think to myself, You know, we've got six month's worth of food for Y2K and we only had one can opener. Something's wrong here!

We eventually found it (in the picnic basket from last week's barbeque at the beach). After supper I went to Walmart. I bought a few more of those handy gadgets. How many can openers do you have?

-- (JER@CanOpen.ER), September 04, 1999


I have five but I still want to buy more - without a can opener, most everything else is a waste.

-- dakota (none@thistime.com), September 04, 1999.

Did't Sylvester have this same problem? Good effort and point tho.

-- Billy-Boy (Rakkasn@yahoo.com), September 04, 1999.

I have around 10 can openers (bought a lot & then lost count) stashed in various places. Some cheap, some expensive. And a p-38 on my keychain, just as a humorous reminder that I'm now a "doomer," as if it were possible to forget.

Don't forget matches. That's another item you tend to foget if you don't use them frequently.

-- and a whole (lot@of.cans), September 04, 1999.

Can never have too many can openers! Got em in our drawers, bags 'o soup, earthquake nook, bug-out bags, car emergency boxes, toolboxes, but could use more! The essential Y2K tool! Thanks for the reminder, JER.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 04, 1999.

two swiss army knives, they will do the trick too

-- andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), September 04, 1999.

I made can openers sort of a 'hobby'. In the past I have gone searching for the little buggers and could find nary a 1! I have stashed at least 1 can opener in every plastic tote filled with food, just in case. Also, ran across a sale several months ago of the folding small military/boy scout type and purchased about 20 to give away to those who may not have any.

Can openers in quantity can be purchased quite inexpensively at the second hand stores everywhere. Anytime I see one I get it.

Just keepin' on, keepin' on

-- Sammie Davis (sammie0nospam@hotmail.com), September 05, 1999.

We have 3 cheapies, two really good quality hand crankers, and the eletric one. (which I would be hesitant to start the genny for)

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), September 05, 1999.

Will the Can Opener replace the dollar as the all-time y2K hard currency?

Time will tell.

Stay tuned.

-- Chris (%$^&^@pond.com), September 05, 1999.

According to Darwinian evolution, man will develop jaguar-like teeth to open cans post Y2K. So, not to worry. ;-)

-- cgbg jr (cgbgjr@webtv.net), September 05, 1999.

I remember can openers. Are Americans still using them (or knives)? This is a joke, right?

I don't blame you for preparing for a y2k disaster. If a nation doesn't have the common sense to use pull tops on all cans, how could it possibly have enough common sense to figure out solutions to y2k?

Have fun scrounging around for can openers. I think I'll pop open a can of soup for dinner.

(Sorry, I'm a little fiesty after a couple weeks of 'institutional' food. A two week furlough, then more institutional food. I'm itching for a good fight. Where's Andy????)

-- PNG (Peter Gauthier) (png@gol.com), September 05, 1999.

For want of a can opener a can was lost, for want of a can.......

Got matches, rubber bands, tooth picks, mechanical mouse traps, one-minute epoxy?

Myself, I sometimes get lost in the "intergallactic vortex" with my sights set only on the "big picture." However, I have lived long enough to know that it is frequently the "little things" that are the oversights that wreak the most havoc. Said more in the vernacular of this forum, the devil-olution is in the details.....

With respect,

-- Dave Walden (wprop@concentric.net), September 05, 1999.

Last week two DGI coworkers were talking about can openers. One said she has only an electric can opener. I told her to get a manual one now.

I have five high quality can openers, a few cheap ones, small military openers and openers on knives and other devices.

I have NO electric can openers.

I agree with PNG that pop open tops are fantastic.

The PlumRose hams from Denmark have them as do many canned fish varieties.

But if the pull rings ever break, then break out the manual can opener!

-- Randolph (dinosaur@williams-net.com), September 05, 1999.

This is a pitiful story. It has been years since I used a manual can opener. I went to a golf tournament to help with lunch. I was told to open a can of tuna and handed a manual can opener. After looking at it several seconds and turning it this way and that, it dawned on me that I did not know how to operate the thing. I had to ask.

I went immediately and bought a can opener. After reading this thread I will be buying a couple more. I did not think of the possibility of losing it.

-- Linda A. (adahi@muhlon.com), September 05, 1999.

Your kidding right? If you can't open a can with out a can opener you have bigger problems then the sealed can.

-- Greenthumb G.I. (greenthumb@i.g.i), September 05, 1999.

Okay, so I've got a big problem? What's the solution? How do you open cans without a can opener?

-- JER (JER@CanOpen.ER), September 05, 1999.


"How do you open cans without a can opener? "

Some of my personal favorites:

Small hatchet- (I learned about this from my cousin, "Fingerless" Flanagan)

Thin "rope" of C4 plastique explosive - (especially good for canned hams over 15 years old)

Chain saw - (DO NOT use on cream corn!)

Cold chisel and small hand sledge - (my wife already has this on hand for when I cook bisquits)

Large Phillips-head screwdriver - (good for drink cans, but don't forget to punch TWO holes, or the reverse suction will pull your tongue right into the can. If this should happen, again, do not use the chainsaw to open the can further.)

Hope these tried and true methods make it easier for you. :

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), September 05, 1999.

Never put a can of beans on fire to heat, with out first opening can. It will open with a bang if you don't.

-- && (&&@&&.@), September 05, 1999.

Lon you're so funny! :-D

Really Jer, you can simply use a sharp kitchen/pocket knife and hammer/large rock/wrench to cut the can open around the edges. Fast and easy for liquids as Lon said, but more tedious for solids. I ofen use my kitchen knife to open a can of juice/sauce even without a hammer because I've misplaced my can opener and can't bother to look for it. I've also had to open cans of solids that way on camping trips in the woods because I forgot the darn thing.

-- Chris (%$^&^@pond.com), September 05, 1999.

Anybody have church keys? You can use them for cans if you have to, but a swiss army knife is fast and fairly easy once you get used to them.

Also doesn't the stuff in military food packs have the little can opener any more?

-- Cherri (sams@brigadoon.com), September 06, 1999.

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