Bill Gates as the ultimate movie villan (think 007 movies)

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There are rumors that Gates, Soros, and Buffet will be forcing the "shorts" to deliver gold. If true, this would probably crash the stock market.

Lets see, in the event of financial collapse and deep y2k, Microsoft and Bill Gates will be in a fine position. Bill can retreat to his new private island, guarded by his army of killer robots (as long as no one gets close enough to do a Control-Alt-Delete).

He has bought a huge share of a silver mine. He can pay his army of programmers in silver while the world around crumbles and rebuilds. Most silver comes as an adjunct of copper mining. Most of the true silver mines operating now are in India. Bill has picked one of the only ones operating in the Western Hemishpere. Very interesting.

I would expect that all the mainframe makers would be ruined by y2k. He will have few rivals. Maybe Sun. Perhaps a few more. I would expect that Bill will ask for an equity position as a quid pro quo for repairing the electronic infrastructure of any company/industry. By the next 20 years, he will own a large section of every operating company.

Is this not the stuff of James Bond movies? The secret island, the world catastrophe, the secret plan to march in and save people .. for a price.

Perhaps we can fill in the gaps of this master plan before it all comes to pass. We have been so busy guessing about the plans of "imperial" Clinton that we have overlooked the true future overlord.

Any comments?

-- David Holladay (davidh@brailleplanet.org), October 03, 1999

Answers

Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated!

-- R (riversoma@aol.com), October 03, 1999.

BORG = Bill's ORGanization?

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), October 03, 1999.


Hey,

Has anyone actually SEEN Bill Clinton and Bill Gates in the same room at the same time?

-- R (riversoma@aol.com), October 03, 1999.


The Gates of Hell!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

-- Randolph (dinosaur@williams-net.com), October 03, 1999.


http://www.subatomichumor.com/old/gates.html

Reproduced for educational use

If the governments wins this case, it wants to break up Microsoft into smaller companies. I don't know exactly how it plans to do this, but I've got a couple of ideas.

You could split Microsoft up so that everything on people's screens is run by a different company -- The Folder Company and The Recycle Bin Company and The Start Button Company. Maybe The Start Button Company would get too powerful -- it's a pretty big button -- so they'd have to split it up into The Middle Of The Start Button Company and The Line Around The Edge Of The Start Button Company.

(Obviously, these are just temporary titles. The real companies would have catchier, more high-tech sounding names: Digital Recycle Bin Systems International or Micro Start Button Plex-o-Corp. You get the idea.)

Another way to divide up Microsoft would be by dirty trick. That way, Buy Out All Your Competitors Incorporated and Steal Other People's Ideas Co. and Release Buggy Software Then Charge Way Too Much For An Upgrade International would all have to compete with each other.

The government probably shouldn't be prosecuting Bill Gates anyway. There's a better way to deal with him. Gates is the richest man in the world. He lives in a big freaky high-tech mansion surrounded by a private army. Everybody hates him. Don't take him to court; send James Bond after him.

Gates would be a perfect Bond villain, except that he doesn't have the suave thing down. Instead of exchanging quips with Bond over Cognac, Gates would probably serve him Jolt Cola then drone on endlessly about network protocols. When it was time to drop Bond into the shark tank Gates would start fiddling around with the trap door mechanism, trying to hook it up to his coffee maker through the internet or something. Eventually James Bond would get bored and just kind of slowly walk away.

(Actually, what would probably happen is this: Bill Gates would push the button to drop Bond into the shark tank and nothing would happen except for an error message because the trap door would be running Windows For Trap Doors. Should have used Linux!)

So maybe Bill Gates isn't the perfect Bond villain. But I bet he does have all kinds of freaky stuff in the basement of that big, weird high-tech house of his. I bet he's got a lab for human experiments, a bunch of re-animated corpses and, maybe -- locked in a cage in the deepest bowels of the darkest prison -- the REAL Bill Gates... a guy who doesn't want to take over the world or run a monopoly or anything except invent a better bubble sort routine and maybe meet a girl who likes him.

(c) Paul Mather 1999.

-- a programmer (a@programmer.com), October 03, 1999.



Nope nope, Bond will never do. We need Xena warrior princess!

She wouldn't waste time with martinis or quips. She would get right to business.

-- R (riversoma@aol.com), October 03, 1999.


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