I woke up this morning with a remembrance - "I met this girl in a bar." And the story seems telling, important in the bigger scheme of things. But...

It's also a little risque' - something that would _perhaps_ embarrass my children and bother certain people who think that HIV people should never discuss their sexuality (phooey on you, btw).

But... I am in "full disclosure" mode with this journal.

Password it? Make a hidden file somewhere and require people to email for the URL? Just post it? Forget it?

Feedback, please.

-- Catherine (catherine@cmjcom.com), October 10, 1999

Answers

Hmmm - given my current situation with the insurance people I suppose this is moot, anyway. No doubt they will take any story (even one that is clearly labeled as "fictionalized") and make it into more (or less) than it is and I don't need to add woes to my pile at the moment.

But I enjoyed the commentary and opinions.

I expect that in a perfect world I would post it with a warning. My kids don't read my journal. Alexander peeks at lifespots sometimes - but neither of them read it, per se.

Or not that I know of, anyway.

Catherine

-- Catherine (catherine@cmjcom.com), October 14, 1999.

it depends on your motivations behind the censoring.

if its because of other people (be they your daughter or the person who thinks people with HIV have no sexuality (what the heck is THAT shit?!?), then, that is not a good reason.

if you are censoring yourself because you feel the world doesnt really need to know, then, okay.

however, i feel that this journal is _y o u_. love it or leave it, its catherine. i dont believe you should leave out bits and pieces of yourself. not the sexual stuff, not the dark stuff, not even the stuff youre ashamed of or regret. they are all parts of you.

-- emma (goddess@worldnet.fr), October 10, 1999.

So. I am giving my honest answer here and not my Principled Answer. Just my gut reaction. If Danielle was as old as Alexander, I would say "Post it, but as a link from this entry. Not a hidden link or an 'email me to get it' link, but just so that it's not Right There, if anyone wants to avoid it, they can." I *wish* my mom would tell me her 'girl in a bar' stories. I mean metaphorically; obviously, since she doesn't tell me them, I have no way of knowing whether there are any;). But. I remember being Danielle's age. And I was bright, and mature, and wise beyond my years and all that stuff. Heck, I read _The Color Purple_ at 7 or 8 - it's not like I was an innocent. However. Had my mother made available to me stories about her sexuality (or for that matter, about some other 'more complicated issues'), I wouldn't have wanted them. Yet. But if they were just *sitting there*, I might not have been able to *not* read them. I mean, they're Right There. You know? So. My honest recommendation: If Danielle is 1/2 as curious as I was at that age - tell people they can read it if they email you for the URL. And, if the kids ask for the URL, talk to them first:)

Marianne

-- Marianne Aldrich (marseillaise@hotmail.com), October 10, 1999.

Know what? I agree with Marianne.

You know how kids are, sometimes they really don't want to KNOW everything. They are not completely ready for that knowledge. Like when they are little and ask about where babies come from. They don't necessarly want all the gory details. They just want some simple answer that works within their understanding of the life and so on.

As Marrianne said, if she asks, you will have the opportunity to discuss it with her and see just how much she really is ready to absorb. Or you will be able to help her understand it even if she isn't ready and still wants to read it and you decide let her anyhow.

-- Jo (jmerchant@interaccess.com), October 10, 1999.

Know what? I agree with Marianne, too. Not only cos she rocks, but I just happen to agree with her!

(I need classes in Clever Circular Logic)

-- krystyn (eisllew@msn.com), October 10, 1999.

Slip it behind a little preface that warns the content may be objectionable to some and don't worry about the rest. While life revolves around our kids it also goes on in all it's lovely detail, even when the details are not what we might share with our kids. It seems to me your journal serves a lot of purposes in your own life right now, so if you need to include the sexuality that must serve a purpose as well. So listen to the answer that's already in your head...and heart.

-- Michele (michele@excerpta.org), October 10, 1999.