The numbness is now complete.no panic. but no succes either.pray for a bump.We can only hope that it will be fixed after breaking.

-- zoobie (zoobie@yahoo.com), October 24, 1999

Answers

I think that numbness is a good description. I feel like my attitude during the last few weeks has really changed. When I first heard the "real" truth about Y2K last October, I went through a panic mode for a few days, feeling that there was so much to do, and how could we ever get it done? My husband and I have worked very hard to do our preparations, and still have a lot to do, but now we're at a completely different level. Instead of worrying about food, the wood stove etc., our concerns are about how to handle the harder situations. What will we do for the neighbors if they're all hungry? How will we handle the day-to-day challenges of three handicapped kids, an elderly mom with lung cancer and emphysema, and an elderly bachelor uncle with his own set of medical challenges? In terms of being "self-sufficient" (whatever that means), I don't know too many people with more homesteading, medical, engineering, and construction skills than we have. I think that we're feeling more and more frustrated with the lack of disclosure by the government to the American people, and the subsequent lack of preparation by those around us. We've put together seed packets for the neighbors. We have two extra-large family-size tents for people to use at our home so that other families can have privacy. We have a huge amount of supplies put away for contingencies.

When I was 17 years old, I was in a horrible car accident in Mexico between our Ford LTD and a semi-truck with a trailer. Our driver was killed, and the rest of us were hurt. As I watched our car approach the semi, I told myself, "We're going to hit. We're not going to hit. We're going to hit. Until it became apparent that there was no way out of the fact that I was going to be in a major collision with a semi, I kept hoping that we wouldn't. I think that's where I am now. Is Y2K going to be a 2 or an 8? Is it going to be a 3 or--God forbid--a 10? As it gets closer, I read the increasingly frequent posts from others about the failures occurring in their workplaces, and my "guesstimate" of the severity of the consequences seems to increase. The idea that I am seriously considering the purchase of KI for my family seems so crazy...except that the CIA is worried about nuclear plant failures. I feel like the neighborhood fool for converting from cheap natural gas and putting a 1000-gallon LP tank in my back yard. My weird friends bought grain mills years ago because of the better nutrition from newly-milled wheat, and I said to myself that I would never be so crazy. Now my $400.00 grain mill is in my kitchen, clamped to a counter.

Some of these changes have been fine, and are probably better for my family anyway. Some of these changes frustrate me, because I like the ease of putting six kids in the car, driving away to McDonalds, and having my easy life. I despise the frightened feeling I have when I think of my DGI friends who will not prepare, even when they hold a copy of the Senate's 100-day report in their hands. I know that the Lord has not let go of me, or my family, or His world, but I hate Y2K, and the knowledge that things are going to change in at least some ways. I'm in the car, waiting, watching the semi approach...Will we miss it? Will we hit it? Sorry that this is so long. I think you hit a nerve!

-- Ann M. (hismckids@aol.com), October 24, 1999.

Zoobie, I think you're right...when I first tuned in to this site, there would be 10-15 new posts each day...lately there's been so few. Maybe everyone has said all they can think of!

Hi, Ann! I agree with what you wrote. We didn't figure it all out until March, when we got our first computer, and began to read articles on the web. We're intelligent, college educated people, but until we had a computer to use, we didn't see anything except mainstream news articles that assured us that everything would get fixed. Suddenly, we understood. And it was overwhelming, to think of what we would need to do, to maintain our current lifestyle, if systems begin to close down.

Some people would call us "old hippies"....this may be good or bad... but one thing that it means, is that we began getting food through a food co-op back in the early 70's. A group of us would get together, once every other month, and we would order huge amounts of food, and two weeks later, it would arrive on a truck, along with other orders from other co-ops. So we've always thought in terms of what we will need for two months. Last March, we began to think, "now let's get 3 times that much!" Which seems simple enough, but I've found it really overwhelming!

Like Ann, often I have thought to myself, "we must be the fools on the hill! Look at all this stuff!!" And still, we have the sneaking suspicion in our guts that it isn't enough...so we get more. And we plant more.

Anyway, I'm getting side tracked...but I agree that this long wait has been tiring. Each of us probably feels well prepared in some areas, and apprehensive about other things.

I think that this posting forum is a kind of therapy for us all... gives us a chance to tell others about our accomplishments, good ideas, things that we're doing that seem to work, and to ask questions, as well as sound off our frustrations, fears, and anger.

I think we all need to keep focusing on the positive every day...time is short, but step by step we are accomplishing a lot, and hopefully learning in the process. I know I've learned a lot from the reading that I've done at this site.

I'd like to thank all of you for the information that you've shared!

Each of us has something to offer that is unique and wonderful! I hope that we can all pull together next spring, and utilize our strengths, working together, however we need to.

And even all those out there who don't get it...they have strengths too, and skills, and ideas. (and hopefully, some of them will have food stocked up, just because that's how they live).

-- Margo (margos@bigisland.com), October 24, 1999.

Yes, we are still preparing and are ready to put our contingency plans into effect. But not all that many people are looking beyond their contingency plans. That requires looking at a LOT of uncertainty. To look beyond, we need to look at what WILL fail, and how we should rebuild.

-- Mad Monk (madmonk@hawaiian.net), October 25, 1999.

I loved the thought of this forum and had hoped there would be some discussion of what we would like the world to be like and how to get there, but my major problem is not knowing what is going to happen. How can you be ready to make changes in your world and not know how badly that world is going to be affected by Y2k (or other disasters)? If you assume a 10, it is easier, but anything in-between is so hard to grasp.

Yes "y2k fatigue" has set in on me as well, since I have been preparing for over 2 years. I am ready to "get on with it" and move on to other problems instead of preparing for only what I can guess at.

I had tried to start a discussion like this on a listserv I used to be on, but at that point no one was ready for it. Maybe we aren't ready for it now either.

-- beckie (sunshine_horses@yahoo.com), October 25, 1999.

I think that part of the reason for lack of a flood of posts is due in part to an absence of "vision" in the post post-modern aggregate. I think the "education" has been very thorough that what we see before our eyes is the pinnacle of progress, and beyond more gadgets and geegaws, there are no other improvements to be made, let alone dreamed of. We have all heard the "teaching"; Mother Culture whispers incessantly,...'consume, consume,...fill up the empty place inside with more money and more things,...don't listen to your inner anxiety.' I do agree that there is a visible paralysis of perspective and vision. I think it exists independently of Y2K, and only appears to be related to it.

Two cents, or three.

"What you do may seem insignificant, but it's very important that you do it." Gandhi

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), October 25, 1999.

I think alot of people are no longer interested in making themselves conspicous at this late date in the game. "Nope. Don't look at me, I'm just a TV watcing sheeple just like the rest of you." Why attract attention. Also, this board is more difficult to post on as it is really for discussing what will happen after roll over. And everyone has a different idea of where we will be when that happenes. The lack of close common ground makes the discussion that much more difficult.

Hopefully Zoob's, we'll be standing at a skeet range next summer seeing who's shotgun breaks clay better. Hopefully.

God Bless and you all keep your...

-- eyes_open (best@wishes.not), October 25, 1999.

October seems to be the time that many people turn inward and marvel at the somber tones. I have a friend who is prone to depression and descends into one reliably this time of year. Since I noticed the pattern and discussed it with her, it has not been nearly as frightening as it used to be to either of us.

In several cultures the time around Halloween or All Saints is the time they believe the curtain between the 'live' world and the 'dead' world is at its thinnest. As we move towards December it is time for festivals of lights to remind us, and to give us hope for the future in the darkness.

I had the odd [imagine that!] and to me lighthearted thought after reading a couple of posts here. I wan't to say "SHH, we're in mourning. Many of us boomers are burying our extended childhoods."

How much of the paralysis comes from visions & plans for the future, and how much comes from bidding adieu to the past?

-- flora (***@__._), October 25, 1999.

Yes, flora. I agree with you. Observing and mourning fit nicely with what I am experiencing. Very often these day I want to go "shhhhhh....be quiet and still for a while; stop talking", both to me and those around me, on posts, where I work.

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), October 25, 1999.

Well, isn't it interesting that we finally have a thread with some activity, and it is on a topic common to us all, it appears. I was starting to think that I was "missing something" in my understanding of how the Humpty Dumpty forum was going to work. Thought to myself, there couldn't be this little traffic on an even so imminent and so critical.

I have to add my name to the list of those experiencing Y2K fatigue. The steam has run out. I go into my basement and ask myself (often) if I am crazy. I consider the pile of receipts for things that represent "sunk costs" (e.g. I can't eat my water filter, my hand- powered flashlights, my crank radio, my hand-powered grain mill, or any of that stuff. Maybe I am alone, but I never imagined for a minute that we would come to the threshold of 2000 with so little interest, concern, or even agreement about the rollover. I had figured that indeed the whole world would be "awake" by now.

Frankly, that is the hardest thing about it. So alone in a world of "normalcy."

The greatest consolation, at this point, is the relatively short amout of time remaining until the chickens start coming home to roost. I say "start," because I have long since abandoned the view that Humpty Dumpty will fall off the wall on 1/1/00 with a mighty crash. However, I don't think I could take much more than 67 days of this living.

Hang on, fellow pilgrims!! The jury is still out. Let's not give up what we have worked so long to prepare for.

-- B. Webert (webert01@hotmail.com), October 25, 1999.

Yes, especially yes to Flora. I think that we have entered that seasonal rythmn you mention. And I've been feeling thankful, so thankful to all those who have helped me prepare, as well as thankful for the bounty that we still enjoy (those of us who are lucky enough to have enough). Waiting is hard, not knowing is hard. I don't think it means we don't care when we aren't discussing Y2K--I think we need this reflective time. Treasure this time to reflect, because we may not have much time to think if we do enter a time of innumerable crises.

-- Amy Marsh (canaryclub@aol.com), October 25, 1999.

Just wanted to add my voice of agreement to each of you. My wife's father past away last week and I thought momentarily today that I could not wait to get back to some normalcy around here, but then considered how late it is in the year: "2 or 3 ... 9 or 10...nothiing will be "normal" again for quite some time. Get used to it."

It has been better than a year and a half of preparation with us, and there is still alot of set-up (generator, wiring, propane hookups, etc.) and I can't bring myself to get to it.

We have to wait until May or June 2000, I think, before we can let our guard down, assuming no immediate degradation on 1-1-2000. So I thank God for patience and ask for perseverence and follow through.

Thanks for listening.

-- Vito Barbieri (BarbieriV@aol.com), October 25, 1999.

I came to the point of realizing that I did not share the basic beliefs of the "vision" accepted and promoted by those contributing to the threads currently under discussion. My experience is that when you reach the point of promoting pre-packaged world view constructs, it is a total waste of time. No one is actually hearing what the others are saying. No one is critically thinking for themselves. No one is "teachable." They are merely mouthing the mantra of some ideology with others nodding in agreement or disagreement.

Like the movie "The Matrix," we do not to live "in reality." Generally, we act according to a cultural model of reality. These enable us to believe our worlds have a certain degree of stability/predictability, that we can influence/control forces that effect us to some degree; and that other forces are largely benign or benevolent toward us. It is extremely disquieting to have these models threatened and have all or some of the rules of our reality crumble.

In a collaborative process, the first utterance of "I disagree" should initiate the real process of cross-education, dialogue and compromise that produces an integrated vision. But first, you have to understand and recognize the needs and wants of the participants; why the constructs they embrace serve those needs rather than alternative beliefs. Non-violent change can only occur in the highest atmosphere of trust and personal respect, patience and time. ALL participants have to be willing to "let go" of their reality life-buoys and embrace a new collaborative paradigm. One must be willing to recognize that just as "Mother Culture" is only a model, "Mother Nature" is only one as well. Neither are reality.

-- marsh (armstrng@sisqtel.net), October 25, 1999.

We've touched on this same issue in another forum that I visit http://http://townchat.com/y2k/bbs/coping/. It's an Emotionally Coping forum (among other things) and it's great to be able to get these feelings off your chest. I don't think we'd ever given it a name, but y2k fatigue is definitely appropriate.

We haven't been preparing nearly as long as some of you, maybe 9 months. We have quite a bit put back, but if it wasn't for our 6 kids, I don't think I could even think about buying another can of food or bag of rice.

Most of my friends are just spending like crazy, taking trips, buying new cars, building bigger homes... but we're just biding our time, watching to see what the new year will bring before we make any new financial decisions.

I also sometimes feel a sense of desperation, knowing that I haven't done enough or that I didn't start early enough. I guess right now I'm on a teeter totter. One day almost apathetic, the next worrying about what I haven't done yet.

God Bless you all.

Kimberly

-- Kimberly Hott (ckhott@urec.net), October 25, 1999.

Here in the Northwest where I live the harvest is almost over. Next weekend I will can the last of the applesauce, and the garden will be plowed and readied for winter soon after. 150 years ago the majority of people had some connection to the natural cycles of the world around us. It is only when we surround ourselves with walls and machinery, clocks and artificial light, that we forget that we, too, would normally hibernate in a more natural environment, sleeping more and reducing our activities during the winter months. This is a time for slowing down, for contemplating the year past, for considering the harvest and the winter to come, and deciding if there will be enough. This is a natural feeling for this time of year.

Since we do live (for a time at least) in a world where we are expected to keep the same schedules summer and winter, there are things that can help with seasonal depression. Try to spend as much time outside (at least = hour a day) as possible during the daylight hours. Get a full spectrum light bulb and put it in the lamp nearest where you spend the most time. Try turning your thoughts towards the harvest rather than the lean winter ahead. (Figuratively as well as literally. I think this is one of the reasons for our holiday of Thanksgiving.)

We spend so little time in our lives (most of us, anyway) in contemplation. The dark of the year was a time for looking at the seasons past and thinking of the seasons to come, to decide if we are happy where we are or need to do it differently next year. Since the advent of the factory with its artificial lights and year round schedules we are no longer allowed the luxury of slowing down, and I think the powers that be prefer it that way. We work without ever stopping to think whether we are happy or whether the paychecks we get are worth all we give (the best of our energies for the better part of our lives).

People who have their live threatened (by accidents, cancer, etc.) and live through it often change what they spend their time doing. I wonder if a possible positive outcome of Y2K might be some re- evaluation of our lives as we sit in the dark and contemplate the has been and the what will be. How many of us spend any time at all just thinking in the dark? Most of us are taught to fear it, but I find I only need to fear darkness outside if I have ignored my own light within.

-- Tania Baildon (tbaildon@yahoo.com), October 25, 1999.

marsh,

I feel badly about your disenchantment, though I can understand. Your posts are some that I've appreciated the most. You're a voice for a part of our world that we are connected to, yet know very little about. I haven't been very active on this board, but have the understanding that that our areas of concern intersect and wish that I could contribute some insight as to how different interests can work together better. I admit that I'm stymied, but I hope you're not saying that you're giving up the struggle.

Best wishes,

-- flora (***@__._), October 25, 1999.

It is indeed Samhain time....and I must say, this year my thoughts are more on those who may soon die than those who already have. Its strange to feel grief ahead of time for what may not happen at all.

It's getting dark awfully early these days....

-- biker (y2kbiker@hotmail.com), October 25, 1999.

"Hang on, fellow pilgrims!!"

I like this phrase. And always greet the time before Yule as a time to get quiet, watch and listen.

And as my baby sister always says, "Grab a helmet, strap in!" (GAHSI)

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), October 26, 1999.

I might add that in my first response in this thread when I mentioned "vision" I was not referring to "vision" with a capital "THE". (I do not think there is such a thing as, "THE Vision".)"Vision" as I speak of it is a process, not a product, the ability to look outside the box, access many ways of "seeing" and problem-solving. The impoverishment of posts at Humpty Dumpty type discussions seems to be correlated to an impoverishment of such "vision", (with or without psychic numbing).

One way to break the paralysis is (on a personal level) to begin to brainstorm,...make bubble diagrams. Refuse to censor your "ideas". It doesn't matter if you think the "ideas" are valid. The exercise is meant to free oneself up from that deer-on-the-whiteline-in-the-headlights phenomenon.

That is all,...just realized I was less than clear earlier.

Have a brainstormy day, all! :-)

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), October 26, 1999.

Autumn is contributing to a catharsis, here. I am experiencing a "letting go" of remaining outside projects as daylight get shorter and the air colder. Best I can do is try and electrically pre-cut any projects and gather supplies for completion in the spring. The season has declared that it is time to wrap things up. It is "last call."

On the other hand, the glorious vibrant colors of fall pull me away from depression, regret and the grief of opportunities missed and loved ones who may stumble in harms way.

It has been a discipline to maintain the long term effort to prepare. I have numbed a part of me to remain focussed on trudging progress. Fall beackons me to awaken and I feel I should wamp those temptations with a large rubber hammer like the plastic groundhogs that pop up at the circus midway. But the air is too crisp, the rain too fresh, the leaves too crunchy and the colors, oh the colors....!

-- marsh (armstrng@sisqtel.net), October 26, 1999.

You can't wake a person pretending to be asleep. My cause of fatigue is that I do not hear any data processing people saying "You are being lied to. Y2K really is a problem where I work." I do sometimes wonder if I am crazy. But I just keep buying a little here and there so my close relatives can come here if they need to. If it does not turn out that way, I will bring them a few bags of groceries and we can all have a good laugh.

-- ramahlake (stonie1012@aol.com), October 27, 1999.

Boy I'm glad I live in the southern hemisphere in a place where there is no "winter" to speak of. But funnily enough Y2k awarness and preparation is grinding to a halt here too.... I think its a case of everyone having a gut full of the dire vs. happy-face reports, not too mention natural inertia.

Then again, even at a time of year when my solar powered Ni-Cad recharger can happily churn away for 14+ hours per day, folks around here are generally feeling lethargic and despondant. Ascribe it to sick building syndrome if you wish; but maybe the sombre mood prevailing in the mass consciousness of you folks has flowed across the Pacific.

On top of this I for one am a little upset that we haven't heard a peep from Ed Yourdon for ages. This alone has given me some cause for apathy on the whole Y2k subject. Has he given up on this Humpty-Dumpty project of his? Have the debunkers finally gotten to him, forcing him out of the Y2k spotlight in general? I mean, Chapter 5 has been a dead link due to be posted in September and we're all still waiting in October!

Mr.Yourdon I hope you're watching.... You were a voice bringing intelligent and informed wisdom, between the clandestine paranoia of Jim Lord and the religious agendas of Gary North.

My "two-bobs" worth as we say

-- JQ (onca@hotmail.com), October 27, 1999.

What a great thread! My wife and I were at an "impass" in our preparations and felt we had done all we could do. We were sad and content all at the same tim, yet continued to feel a sense that we still had not done enough. I know that God is pushing us to do more, and so we sat down and made out a final list. We feel the "need" to take care of all the DGI's in our extended families---they number 24. Must to our concern, we figured that we need to spend another $2000 in the following 2-3 weeks in preps. We have been prepping for 13 months now already. I asked God in quiet prayer how he can put these thoughts on our hearts and then....where is this extra cash going to come from? He continues to open up doors to allow us to prepare, but these things do not bring contentment in this "end game". I assume that we will just continue to have faith and "hang on". I truly appreciate all the posts that I have read over the last two months here and on the TB2000 forum. It was just another door that God opened to me in order to "connect" with others that are feeling and doing the same things that we are. Even though I consider myself a "contrarian", I still need interaction from my fellow humans--whether I agree or disagree with their positions. I, too, am ready for this thing to begin, whatever the outcome. Although, I agree with Cory Hill that 95+% of the population are, perhaps braindead idiots, I also agree that the "true" abilities of the people are yet to be awakened. Anyway, just needed to "chat at ya' for a while".

Shepherd

-- shepherd (mjmcinnes@aol.com), October 27, 1999.

Finally!! I'm either as insane as the rest of you, or I've finally found a place where people are speaking with some common sense. For years I've been feeling anxiety about something - not being able to put words to it, but now it seems so clear. When I complained that things were getting to fast, I felt like a fool, cause all the ignorant, brainwashed droids kept saying that everything is wonderful and they didn't know what I was talking about. Anyways. Here I am, and I am screwed - looking for advice. Because I thought I was insane, I never really started preparing for anything - amazing what happens when you are convinced of your own lunacy. So here I am in probably the worst place in North America - not only am I in a crazy city (montreal) with like 3 million people, but in January it's gonna get mighty cold. To boot, I know that even if I am crazy I better get out of here, but I have absolutely no idea where to go - especially since no one I know even seems to understand what I'm talking about. I say, "let's get some gear together, leave the city before new year's, and go to Vermont or something." They hear it, but really they hear "let's go party for one night in the country for new year's. it'll be a blast." Man, I don't wanna be responsible for packing my car full of supplies, and then have unprepared people who are crying because they didn't believe me that they wouldn't be able to get back into the city through all the strewn cars that it was cheaper not to recall. I know that even Vermont is on the friggin' freezing size in January, so I must go even further south. But, here's the rub, if I go alone, what chance do I have of getting anywhere when things crumble. How early do I have to leave Montreal to get where I want to go? Will borderguards be instructed to be even more suspicious of anyone crossing the borders?

So any advice on where to go would be appreciated - especially if you know a place where people aren't excited for the chance to use their uzis. I don't wanna get somewhere and then be gunned down.

And even as I write this I feel more insane, and that I guess it'll be ok to just stay here with the other 3 million montrealers who still seem oblivious... I find it hard to believe that I'm writing all this, and even more that I believe it all. Having read Michael S. Hyatt's book, "How to survive the coming chaos, The Millenium Bug" I realize that I am either an insane social reject looking for reading material to support my own drama, or I am in a lot of trouble, and all the years I spent in a big city will be the reason that I will be one of the first to go down in the flames...

Thanks for listening anyways, even if I sound insane...

-- neil kaplan (neilk@total.net), November 09, 1999.

Tania, I also really need to have a chance to slow down. I work at a bank, and we are not getting a Christmas or a New Year's holiday due to Y2K. Where does this leave my family? I hope not here--we live within 5 miles of a nuclear power plant. The preps are not finished. It seems no one cares anymore. I feel that I have been a pain-in-the-neck about Y2K. No one wants to talk about it or hear about it. I feel so alone in this thing! Yet, I like some of you, hear God's voice saying "Don't quit now". It's really hard to have Y2K fatigue and to keep on pluggin'. And it is hard to have time to prepare when your job demands that your time belongs to the company.

-- Pat S Griffith (griffithp@abts.net), November 11, 1999.

Mr. Cook:

Have you considered the possibility that the public has seen through the 'smoke and mirrors' hand-waving of those who hype y2kFUd? The possibility that the public is actually bothering to look at other y2k info besides the doom and gloom websites? That the opinions of a few....who have agendas....may not be factually encapsulated?

Consider those questions, say in May of 2000. When the world hasn't ground to a halt, and the economy is humming right along, the light will probably click on.

-- There could be VERY good reasons (that@there.is.no."panic"), November 30, 1999.

Thank God for all of you!! I too have been feeling numb lately about Y2K. It just seems that no one wants to know about it. Most of what you hear, unless you dig deeper, is that it will be a non-event or last just a couple of days. I too feel that this will last a lot longer than just 1-1-1999 or January for that matter. But I just keep hearing everyone say they are "ready" or "almost ready".

What does "ready" really mean? Does "ready" mean "compliant" or does it mean that you have a contingency plan in place, because you really are not compliant?

Also has anyone seen all the government reports showing a significant decrease in deemed "mission critical" systems? Back in June 1998 some agencies said that they estimated they had thousands of mission critical systems to remediate. Then when you check back in the first quarter of 1999 they now report only having hundreds of "mission critical" systems to remediate and that they are 98% "ready".

I have been following this and preparing for Y2K for nearly 2 years as some of you have. I have felt crazy several times lately as it appeared that I was one of few which actually felt there was a need to do so. We have "sunk" several thousands of dollars into food, medicine and equipment to be prepared just in case and yet at the same time wishing that all of our preparations will never be necessary. Now that can made a sane person insane in a few months I'll tell you.

I'm sure many of you, as I have, have felt alone and isolated as we plug along buying, storing and planning for something we hope never happens. Most of the time lately, I feel like a fool. Worst yet, I feel like a failure. I feel that I have convinced my husband and some other family member to spend lots of time and money preparing for what the "experts" tell us won't materialize. We sold our stocks and yet the stock market is roaring ever louder. I feel that we have spent unnecessary money for preparations and haven't made money in the stock market that we could have made and that "others" are making. I am a CPA and my husband has usually looked to me for advice when it came to our finances. This year I felt that I might have led him astray and made so many mistakes by over-reacting.

Until I found this dialog, I was lost and confused and afraid. Now I realize that all each of us can do is our best, no matter what that is. If I made some mistakes, so be it. Everyone does sometimes, and I can't change the past. But just in case all of our preparations do become necessary we will thank God that we listened to our gut instints, no matter how "crazy" they felt at times.

Thank you for hope again! And for the energy to make it to the end of the year. Only 25 days away! I wondered how I was going to see it through, but now because of all of you I now have the strenght to finish the work I started so long ago.

I cried several times as I read some of your replies. All I could think was, "hurray! there are people out there that believe the same thing I do." Maybe I'm not the only one who is crazy. I have all of you who are just as crazy as me. We are not alone, none of us. So those of you that were very tired as I was, please gather up whatever courage you can find in yourself and get going!!! We can do it, whatever the outcome is, and no matter what, we will go on to face another day.

Thank you all again and God Bless all of you!!! :)

-- carolyn (carolynnicks@msn.com), December 06, 1999.