Not Kevin Spacey, that's for sure.

RICHARD SIMMONS. I know, I know, you're thinking that naturally he makes my skin crawl because he makes everyone's skin crawl. But listen, I caught a bit of his show, Dream Maker, yesterday and he so revolted me that I had to wash after watching him. He is just so slimy looking, and he looks the same now as he did twenty years ago! How can that be? And what kind of people like this fake freak??

Anyway, he was squeezing the arms of these teenage, "I want to be a model, Richard, make my dream come true" girls and giving them little giggly phony looks like, "I'm so excited for you, girlfriend" and I thought that if he ever looked at me that way or touched my arm I would surely knock him off his size 3 feet.

Do you know what I mean?

-- Christine (chris@gta.igs.net), October 28, 1999

Answers

I think Richard Simmons was a highschool prep-squad leader, who was abducted one night by light-tolerant vampire space aliens. Really, if you think of it, it makes sense... He *never* ages, has WAY too much enthusiasm, sucks the will to live out of anyone who happens to cross his path (be it TV, radio, magazine ad...), and he's DEFINITELY out there...

-- Darren James Harkness (solas@direct.ca), October 28, 1999.

As much as Richard Simmons gags me I have to give him some credit. I think he appears younger than he is because he is so health consious. Diet and exercise can do wonders. Plus we have to remember he IS a celebrity so he can surely afford plastic surgery. What really gets me is his new line of collectible dolls.

-- Michele Payton (wigglelegs@aol.com), October 29, 1999.

Someone once told me I looked like Richard Simmons. Even though it was a joke, I killed them. I also cut my hair the next day.

-- Michael (meaford@hotmail.com), November 01, 1999.

Ever see Richard Simmons in a suit? Creepy, man... creepy.

-- Darren James Harkness (solas@direct.ca), November 02, 1999.

Isn't it BROWN?

-- Christine (chris@mail.gta.igs.net), November 02, 1999.

It was on a David Letterman show, once... Davey-boy thought it would be a good idea to get Simmons the hell out of his exercise clothes, and into a regular old suit... I never saw (and haven't seen since) Richard Simmons *actually* frown until that moment. :)

-- Darren James Harkness (solas@direct.ca), November 02, 1999.

i'm upset by your blast off the weight i ordered it 4 months ago . my daughter has had 4 strokes and is over weight i thought this would help but. i guess you are like all others about weight just buy it and never get it . her life could be in trouble because of the weight . she has a 2 year old son to raise. hope you are happy. paula ford 415 n 2nd rosebud ,texas 76570

-- paula ford (ladyeaglelover@hotmail .c0m), May 10, 2002.