Lord Humungus Vs Little house

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(ok, before i go here, i forgot the names of the little house characters, so sue me)

"Go maw! Run, get doc Samson!" The hill-billy with the shotgun waved his arm over his head and charged back to the house. Close on his heels were three strange two wheeled 'iron horses' which the savages rode. The lord Humungus picked up the mic and keyed the handset. "you have defied me, the lord Humungus, now you will pay the price, get him my dogs of war!" The Humungus raised a clenched fist as the mohawked savages placed two shafts in the dashing farmer's back. They whooped exhultingly as they rode by snatching the shotgun from the ground. Wez rode back, his 'woman' wearing the farmer's wide brimmed hat, it was a grand joke, and even the Humungus chuckled. his men began to ransack the settlement, there was food, but no gasoline so far, three settlements and no gasoline at all. Suddenly, a rickety old wagon pulled out of the barn, drawn by a pair of old mares. "get her!" cried the Humungus, several of his raiders were busy looting the house and chasing chickens around the barnyard, they hadn't bothered to check the barn. A pink Cadillac with a rooftop turret sprouting a rack of crossbows was the first to begine the chase, followed closely by a skull adorned charger and Wez's motorcycle riding fanatics. The lady in the wagosn urged the horses on, but it was no use, the satanic machines of tehir enemies were much too fast. The pink cadillac pulled alongside the wagon, the punk inside made a rude gesturewith his tongue. Barbara, who had just seen her husband killed shrieked with impotent rage and lashed at the horses in futility. They laughed, and one clad in black leather leaped to the wagon, barely catching on with his arms, both feet drug int eh dust of the trail. The driver of the cadillac glanced at the speedometer. "Come on you idiot we're only doing 25!" Barbara dropped the reins and slamed him over the head with a frying pan she had lying on the buckboard next to her. Luckily for him his helmet blunted the attack, but he lost his grip and fell into the dust. "oh frack!" cried the punk in the turret, "posse!" Horses thundered down the trail, ridden by the men of the town, although most were only farmers their guns were deadly to the evil men on machines. "hang on!" screamed the driver. He floored it and tried to swing the car sideways. The posse rode boldly forward firing wildly, but only a few bullets smacked into the caddy, the rest kicked up spurts of dust on the trail. The punk in the turret fired a fusillade of arrows, striking several horses, half the posse went down in a mass of screaming horses and hollering riders. The rest dismounted nad poured volley after volley into the pink monstrosity, unitl they were sure everybdoy inside was dead. Wez and his pack tucked tail and ran. The charger plowed ahead ramming through the men on the ground, and grinding a few of them into the dust. Wez's men returned, their feigned retreat had worked, they closed with the disrorganized posse, riding through their midst, slashing with cruel knives and firing arrows into them. the men of the posse fought bravely, but surrounded and deafened by the fearful engines, they were overcome by the savages. Just as suddenly as the combat was ending, ther was a strange noise to their left, a horn: 'daa-daa-daa-daa naa-naa-naa naa-naa-naaaaa!' Wez's men turned just in time to see another charged, this one orange, with astrange flag on the roof fly from a hidden trail and land on two of their number. The frightening car landed and should have been samshed apart, but form some reason seemed immune to a crash that would have utterly destroyed any other car. The passenger fired his bow at the black charger, exploding it into a thousand firey pieces. "we go!' cried wez, firing up his mortocycle and leaping intothe saddle, his butt covering leater chaps fluttered wildly almost making Barbara sick. The barbarian fled, and Bo and Luke were glad to let them go. Barbara stopped her wagon and jumped down to thank her rescuers, "oh jeb, thank god you've arrived!" "don't worry, ma'am, us'n cooter have this thin all figured out!" bo said taking the frantic woman in his arms and helping her to the general lee. "apparently," luke explained, "whatever force brought them here has brought us here from hazzard county! Quick Bo, we can get back to town faster if we take beggars canyon!" (waylon jennings: What ol Humungus didn't know was, there ain't no gas in 1885! So attacking the town was gonna get mighty tiresome, but Bo and Luke weren't about to them savages get away with what they did, they were brewing up a special fuel in town in a still cooted had made from a wash tub a wooburning stove, adn a bunch of copper tubing, with any luck that ol Humungus would't have a chance in theh 'pork festival' county race tommorrow afternoon...)

-- jeremiah (braponspdetroit@hotmail.com), November 15, 1999

Answers

ummm... that should read: "oh duke boys!... etc etc"

oops

-- jeremiah (braponspdetroit@hotmail.com), November 15, 1999.


Did anyone actually read this? Sheesh, I've got some windows that need washing.

-- (I'dratherbesleeping@awol.com), November 15, 1999.

I guess you had to be there...

You forgot Mel...

sleepin' on the TV Guide...

The Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), November 15, 1999.


well, at least i offended one person... and got some windows cleaned!!

-- jeremiah (braponspdetroit@hotmail.com), November 15, 1999.

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