How do you deal when something ends? Something you love. Like a graduation, moving, the end of a show you're participating in, etc.

-- Piper (piperdane@yahoo.com), November 21, 1999

Answers

You know what? I told Seth that right now, I didn't want to be with him. And that's not a lie. It's the truth. And it gets the point across just as well as saying that the spark is gone. It means the same thing, the latter is just more harsh. If you're really a counselor, then why come here and rudely rip me apart? Is this how you treat your couples?

-- Piper (piperdane@yahoo.com), December 13, 1999.

How do I deal with endings? Well much better than you do. With my past girlfriends, I always tell them the truth and let them know why I broke up with them. You should tell this boy Seth what you really feel. He might not be the only hurting and if you had any real heart you would tell him how you feel and be honest with him. As a counselor this is what I tell the couples in my couple support group.

-- Joe Spencer (joe64spencer@hotmail.com), December 13, 1999.

I don't think you dealt badly with ending your relationship at all. You said what you wanted to do out loud and acted assertively. Ending a long term relationship is really difficult and it's best not to lie to each other. When the spark is gone, it's gone. Though I question your judgement a little on not telling him directly that he shouldn't wait (unless you have told him and I am not reading as carefully as I should.) Good luck. And ignore the idiots out there. As for how I deal with endings, I cry. I am not usually the one to end friendships decisively, so how's that for unhealthy?

-- Sabrina (sabby_darling@hotmail.com), December 15, 1999.