Doc has been pretty good so far: no shoes, no important items of clothing, no furniture. He's torn up some books and eaten a heck of a lot of toilet paper.

What was the worst thing your dog ever ate?

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Answers

I hear this is pretty common. But still, it's gross. My mom's dog Misty used to sleep upstairs in our laundry room. So every evening, my mom would open the little kiddie-gate that blocked off the stairs (Misty was too much of a puppy at the time to be trusted upstairs alone) and tell Misty to go to bed. Now, we also had two cats. The only safe place to put the litterbox where the cats could use it without Misty trying to help was on the landing, where it was blocked off by the gate. Which was fine, except every evening on her way up to bed, Misty would pause at the litterbox for a bedtime snack. Yum yum...

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

My dog will eat anything he can get his little paws on. Anything. When we first got him the cat made it a habit of knocking things that were placed up high down so the dog would get in trouble. So here is Cecil's list of horrible things that the cat gave him to eat. spearamint(sp)falvored Tums (which had him pooping green for a month) an entire bottle of Midol, many many pens which made my nice wood floors black in several spots, lots of underwear although that is not exactly the cat's fault, and while there are more terrible things that he has gotten into I think they may be too disgusting for this forum.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Hmm.. well, one of my dogs has an affinity for chocolate. She's been known to eat an entire pound bag at one time. It's not that we don't keep it up high or away from her, but she's rather smart and finds a way to get to it. She can also smell it when it's in a sealed container and will do anything to try to get the container open.

My other dog really doesn't eat anything weird, but does enjoy rummaging through the kitchen trash can (which is in a cabinet under the sink). We but a childproof lock on the door to the trash, but she figured out that if she pulled hard enough she could still get the door open. We've finally had to resort to setting the trash can on top of the cabinet when we go out so that she can't get into it. Instead, she opens the cabinet with the dog food.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Well, my aunt's dog is a dachshund. Dachshunds need to be kept on strict diets throughout their lives, because if they get to be overweight, they have back problems.

Anyway, because of this, her dog is chronically underfed, and will eat anything he can get his jaws around. Once he swallowed a whole mouse (my uncle claimed that he then looked down the dog's throat, and could see two little eyes looking up at him, but I'm sort of skeptical).

But the worst thing was when my aunt noticed that the dog's breath had an unusually foul smell, so she took him in to the vet's to have his teeth cleaned. When she picked him up, they told her that the bad smell was from an infection in his mouth: they'd found a straight pin embedded in his gums. Apparently, he'd gotten it out of the trash, and it had been in there for several weeks.

And then last week, when I was at home, my mom told me that her dog, a 5-month-old Newfoundland, had pulled an article she'd xeroxed from a magazine off the kitchen table and chewed it to bits. It wouldn't be so extraordinary, but this happened to be an article about dog obedience.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

My family perfected the art of sparkling conversation by eating its evening meals in front of the tube. One night the (coffee) table setting included a stick of butter. I put that down and returned to the kitchen for silverware or whatever, and when I returned to the den, the butter dish was empty and my dog was licking her chops. That was a full quarter-pound stick of butter. Shadow was pretty fat.

I also heard about another black lab who ate a batch of unrisen bread dough. Reportedly his family sat around and watched his belly rise and rise and rise. You have to, or people had to when they were Far from the Madding Crowd, pierce sheep's stomachs (from the outside) to release gas if they've eaten something bad 'cause otherwise they'll pop. And you have to pierce them well or they'll still die and you don't want that. I wonder if anyone ever brought that dog to a vet. Hmmm, yeasty dog!

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

My dog, Magilla (a shih tzu) ate an entire can of honey roasted peanuts that we left on the coffee table (it was closed, but obviously it's pretty easy for a dog to remove that plastic floppy cover). He ate every peanut and even licked the can clean.

The next day his poop looked like a Payday candy bar.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Beth,

What you didn't know is that I told that dog of yours to rip up my tapes. If you aren't going to use them and be the conqueror that I could make you, then it's pointless having them around your house. I wanted to show you that even your dog can Tae-Bo, and just for grins I made him rip ol' Buffy's face off, too.

Your dog is a conqueror. He knew the tools and the way.

Tae-Bo is the way.

Your dog was reminding you that you abandoned Tae-Bo before it could show you the light.

Good dog.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

My dog thinks cat crap is super-yummy. She gulps it down when I'm not watching but the bits of litter stuck to her nose give her away. Anyone have any suggestions to make her stop?

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Jake doesn't actually eat *anything* (besides any kind of food known to man), but he loves to shred. Luckily this doesn't include shoes or anything of value, but give him an empty Coke box, a brown paper bag, paper towel (preferable used, ie: with food smell or crumbs), or a stuffed toy....he goes into kill mode. He tears and shreds and pulls out stuffing or little plastic eyes, whatever. But he never eats or swallows anything--just leaves it all over the living room rug and then proudly trots away.

Once my doctor was here and although I thought I had picked up all Jake's toys, one had escaped me: a blue stuffed "monstar" which he had neatly decapitated. We were talking, and the doc was looking at his notes, and soon he said "I have to ask..." and of course I figured another question about ME, but no. He said, "Is that one of Jake's toys?" (Jake was locked up to spare the doctor being slobbered on. Doctors generally frown on that). I said, "Yes, he tore the head off". Doc said, "But he doesn't do that to, say, health care providers?" as Jake is frantically scratching at the door.

I'm still not sure if that was the doc's dry, almost never seen sense of humor or a serious question.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Well, I don't have a dog, but my cats, especially Mephisto and Tiger have demonstrated more than once the strange allure of plastic.

They love to chew on plastic wrap of any kind, bags from the grocery store and bubble wrap.

I'm sure it can't be good for their little tummies, so I've started being the plastic-pick-up Nazi around the house and making sure that grocery bags are always stowed in the closet and that plastic bags and wrap from food are never left on the table.

Unfortunately Shara has a fondness for cardboard boxes. Anything delivered from amazon.com must be rescued rapidly or suffer from her canines.

They all like thread too which I also try very hard to keep away from them, because it can cause digestive problems and I've caught them pulling the foam padding out of the old ratty sofa for a midnight snack, until I duck-taped the rip up and bought a new couch cover.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

All of my dogs have eaten something strange or important at one time or another.

When I first got Mack he chewed up countless shoes, a couch, and plenty of books and paper. One night I woke in the middle of the night to find him chewing on the plastic end of a steak knife. Most recentely he descimated a feather duster. He's also a food stealer sometimes. He's stolen lunch off the counter or dinner off the coffee table. And I can't keep bread anywhere near him. We've come home to find just shreds of plastic from a loaf of bread.

Brandy mostly would chew wires or maybe shred paper. She is partial to butter though and I have to be careful to keep it away from her. She's not very tall and cannot steal many things off tables or counters so she mostly works on whatever Mack gets down.

And Ginger so far has just chewed up lots of paper, a few shoes, and a couple of bath mats. She'd prefer to pee all over everything than chew something up. And if she can chew something up and then pee all over it she's in heaven.

The best incident was the time Mack was in our old kitchen scarfing bread from the trash can and Brandy ratting him out by barking at him. When we got up to check out the situation Mack knew he was in trouble and he went straight to the bathtub and put himself in it. That's where we put them when they are bad and Mack has taken to just doing it himself.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

The first dog I ever had, Panny, used to want to eat nothing except crayons. I learned to pick up after myself after coloring on the floor because when I didn't I would come back to find lots of wet soggy chewed up crayon wrappers, and no crayons.

The last dog I ever had, Spotty, used to like to eat underwear, especially my older sister's bras. I remember when it was her senior prom, Spotty had gone into her laundry basket and brought down a purple underwire bra, and ate about half of it before her date started laughing and pointed out what he was doing to all her friends. I loved that dog, mainly because I didn't leave laundry out where he could get to it.

Thankfully none of my pets liked to eat out of the litterbox, although my cousin's fetch-addicted border collie grabbed a clump and tried to hand it to me to through for her.

- Gillian

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

My previous dog, Molly (a Basset Hound), ate an entire bag of Rolos one Halloween. Foil wrappers and all. We found the empty bag laying behind the TV set. Our backyard sparkled in the sun for days after...

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Madison ate my glasses one night while I was sleeping...he slept in his crate for 6 months after that!

One of my previous dogs ate something that was pink plastic (I had to open him up btw to find this out as he was vomitting continuously and it wouldn't pass)... Coincidently I hadn't seen my orthodontic retainer in a few days!!! BAD DOG DIESEL!!! After ordering a new one (fairly big bucks) I found my old one and then wondered for a few months what it was that he had eaten. Well, it turns out it was my red dustpan....can you tell who NEVER cleans their house? ;-)

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

Well, today they shredded a box of Count Chocula that was in my room. I've learned not to keep any candy in my backpack, because the dogs dig in and find it. Bridget loves chocolate.

Over the years, they have eaten inumerable pairs of shoes, a purse, a teddy bear's nose, bags of chocolate covered espresso beans, salamis, boxes of doughnuts, spread rolls of paper towels around the yard, and lots more.

The cats will shred paper, and eat cardboard boxes. Cinsand will eat anything, and right now seem to have developed a passion for drinking olive oil. I'm sure that can't be good for him.

-- Anonymous, December 01, 1999

When my dog was still in her puppy stage she ate many things - except food. She was a terrible, fussy eater and very underweight at one stage (she has made up for it now, and weighs in at about 50kg - 120lbs I think that is, but my math is awful..)

The things that she did eat included shoes, clothing, toys, spare bits of computers, an ATM card and the vacuum cleaner (not all of it you understand, but a vital piece - namely the lead AND it was plugged in at the time - luckily the power wasn't on otherwise it would have been messy..)

The worse things my cats eat are insects. I'm quite happy that Ming is a bit of a moth assassin, but I could do without the chomping (and with extreme relish too) of them afterwards. It just about makes me want to hurl..

-- Anonymous, December 01, 1999

My dog went through a chewing fit when she hit about 6 months old. Anything was was smaller then her was at risk - my fireplace is missing tiles (and no I don't know how she hasn't broken her teeth), she'll wait until I'm out of the room as she's knows she's not meant to. She eats coal and if I don't watch her she'll eat it out of the lit fire. Candle wax - she thinks she likes she goes mad to get at it - her ear went up in flames one night 'cos she was leaning across a candle to get at some wax - but once she gets it she remembers she doesn't like it and spits it out. The worst though was my Mum's supply of Juice plus (vitamin pills) that she'd just bought in from the States. They got left on a table at Cara's head height. That night she chewed the top off and demolished the pills. She was hyper for about a week after that.

-- Anonymous, December 01, 1999

I don't have a dog so you'll have to settle for a cat story. I use milk in my coffee and one of my cats, Jenny-Any-Dots, will sit beside the cup and drink my coffee by dipping her paw in it and then licking her paw. I can only hope that I have always caught her at it!

-- Anonymous, December 01, 1999

Last night we ventured out into the WTO "war zone" and left Cassie at home to endure the tear gas booms and sirens from the comfort of her dog bed. After inhaling enough pepper spray to give me a screaming headache and having Darth Vader threaten me with his rubber pellet gun we came home to find Cassie waiting sweetly by the door. One look and we knew something was up -- her muzzle looked like she had been drinking milk. She had found a 10 lb. unopened bag of flour in the laundry room and had herself a little snack. She probably ate a good 2 lbs of it. Next stop...dirt.

-- Anonymous, December 01, 1999

My 3 month old Malamute x Lab eats EVERYTHING in sight - boxes, shoes, plants, chunks of grass and dirt, bark, spiders, flies, you name it! I was watching her from inside the house after I had fed her, I noticed she was sniffing at a pile of something on the grass, I walked outside to find her eating her own vomit!! Not a pretty sight!

-- Anonymous, December 01, 1999

My pet galah chews the buttons off the remote control one by one. He also chews electrical wires when we're not looking (not wise!) and loves tearing up paper, cracking the wood of pencils between his teeth, pretty much anything. Parrots are very destructive creatures. And no plant is safe with them.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 1999

ok, this is just dog-by-association, but in one afternoon, my pal Spencer's dog ate:

a cellular phone
3 tv and stereo remote controls
a stereo reciever
the cushion from a papasan chair
one pearl/sapphire/diamond earring
pair of expensive shoes

Suprisingly, the dog lived.

-- Anonymous, December 30, 1999

I guess the strangest (or most memorable) snack for Kizzy (my former dog; a purebred Springer Spaniel who died at the ripe puppy age of 18) was half of one leg of my butcherblock dining room table. Call me a rotten housekeeper, but I don't tend to check up on the legs of my furniture every night to see if they're intact, so I only noticed this when I went to set the table and it seemed to be a bit wobbly. Sure enough, one leg was shorter than the rest and had telltale tooth marks not traceable to any of my cats. Even better, Kizzy looked guilty and wouldn't go in the dining room for months, even though being a well-trained doggie mom, I didn't scold her because "she wouldn't know what she'd done if I didn't catch her at it." BTW, I think that's crap, started by a very smart canine mouthpiece, played by Dogbert DiNiro, but I still subscribe to it. We still have the table, it still lists to the right, and the current canine occupant of my house has shown no taste for furniture.

-- Anonymous, December 30, 1999

My Miniature Pinscher, Gonzo, is channeling a German Sheppard I think. He's about 10 months old, and he eats/shreds ANYTHING he can get his paws on. Last night, I came home to find the handheld heat/massage therapy thingie with no cord...he ate the cord right off the handle. He destroys the couch on a regular basis. He eats books, plastic, pens, carpet, shoes, purses, etc. And he LOVES underwear.

The other day, I thought I'd lock him in the bathroom and see how he did in there..oops. I got home and he had destroyed the door jambs on both sides, started on the sink, and ripped a floor-guard thingie off the wall and eaten part of it. Gonzo only weighs 8.25 lbs and he's only 12 inches high, how the hell does he do this?

I hate doing it, but I really think he's going to become more familliar with his crate again. I can't afford to replace the shoes he's eaten, and when I move...oh boy. I'm going to have to replace 3 door jambs (he's started on the front door now), the floor thingie and figure out how to hide the long strip of carpet that he's eaten...in the MIDDLE of the floor. *sigh*

But I do love my silly little doggie.

MellieBee

-- Anonymous, December 30, 1999

Just a little training note.... I often can trust my small dogs (Pugs) to be alone in the house at 12 months without destroying anything, but they are extremely low drive dogs and are content to eat and sleep til I get home. The Rottweilers however are most often crated when I am away until they are 18 months old (females) or 2 years old (males) as they mature much more slowly due to their size and there drive to 'do something' is much higher (as it is in all working breeds). Have patience, but if there is any doubt to his trustworthiness *this* doc suggests you go back to crating your Doc til he grows up a little bit more. (This said after I trusted one dog a bit too early and lost a couch, some drywall, my glasses, a couple of books and all the Pug puppy beds in the house...just a tad jealous I think! ) Happy New Year All!

-- Anonymous, December 30, 1999

When my future ex-wife and I were fresh out of college and living together, I thought, "we should get a dog." So, off we went to the local SPCA and found a cute little black and white beagle mix and adopted her. We brought her home, named her Casey and all was well in our little family. About a month later (nearing Christmas) I came down from the loft in our studio apartment and noticed Casey looked different. After walking up to her it hit me, "she is foaming at the mouth!". I thought "great, the cute little dog has rabies." After closer examination I (to my great relief) noticed that it was not foam around her muzzle, but some sort of crusty substance. It was then that I noticed that the tube of super glue that I had been working with at the coffee table was missing. I freaked, pried opened her mouth and found that not only the fur of her muzzle, but her tongue, teeth, gums, and feet were covered in super glue. Both my ex and I then went into panic mode. We loaded her up and sped to the nearest emergency vet (15 miles away - same as a regular vet, but at 3 times the price). The whole time we waited in the office I could only think "how could we ever think about having kids if we can't keep a 15 lb beagle mutt out of trouble?" Well, the vet said that the super glue is not harmful (just unsightly) in fact they use it in surgery when stiches can't be used. He told us that it would take a week or so for the glue to rub/wear off. As long as she can eat, she should be fine. The vet's parting words were "come back for ex-rays if you cant find the tube." Thank god we found that tube...

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2000

Thanks everyone for the hilarious stories!

I have a cat, and she will go after any food that I leave unattended. She really likes cheesy poofs... she goes in the bag, gets herself a poof or two, licks the cheese powder off, then crunches away like any other human junk food junkie.

She will take an entire sandwich off the counter and toss it down to her domain- the floor, and go at it.

For Christmas, my roomie gave my kitty a little Nerf-like rainbow ball to kick around. I watched her with it for a few days to make sure she didn't chomp it. She did her little soccer thing with it, or she ignored it, so I left her alone about it. Three days later- there was technicolor kitty barf on my carpet! I was a little freaked and I kept saying, "What did you eat? What did you eat?" Then I remembered. Another kitty toy sent to kitty toy hell.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2000

My dog ate one of my gameboy game cartridges WHOLE. he pooped it out later. (washed it off. still worked. but save file was deleted)

-- Anonymous, March 28, 2001

Jasper is part goat. He's eaten shoes (the good ones, of course), candles, matches (he really likes these), and pop cans. The worst thing was the rim of a glass which he chewed really neatly to about 1/4 of the way down (he passed little pieces of glass seemingly without a problem - by the way, feeding a dog cotton balls soaked in cream fixes this problem pretty well). The worst was a green marker. I couldn't understand what made him poop bright green until I found some pieces of the marker by his toy bin. We always put things seemingly out of reach but Jasper seems to get stuff anyway.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2001