Got the craving for some lunch
but I ain't got nothing to munch
my mind is set on just one wish
a big old sandwich - tuna fish!
time to make a grocery run
I'll walk there in the morning sun
and make a list of what I need most
tuna fish, and bread for toast
and though my stomach may be empty
I'll feed my head from a horn of plenty
roll a joint Bob Marley style
and smoke it, till it makes me smile

Starting off in aisle one
fruits and veggies by the ton
hey, check it out, raddicio
those red leaves man, they almost glow
and bok choy! I've always wanted to try it
I wonder if I have enough to buy it?
it's grown in Japan, or maybe China
or maybe some farm in South Carolina
just then I hear a voice in my head
"stay focused man, tuna and bread"
But right now I'm in produce bliss
woooo! I'm too high for this

Too high for the supermarket
too high for the grocery store
too high for the supermarket
ain't gonna shop like this no more

16 different brands of tuna
"Chicken of the Sea", and "Big Kahuna"
packed in oil, packed in water
dolphin friendly, dolphin slaughter!
and oh God, what about the bread?
should I get white, or wheat instead?
or rye! rye's the best I've tasted!
rye is best whenever you're wasted

Finally done, it's checkout time
searching for the shortest line
the express lane! (but they don't take checks)
and you gotta have 10 items or less
so let's see - I got Ding-Dongs and a bag of chips
Captain Crunch and some onion dip
it's sugar and salt, space and schism
the ying and yang of munchie Taoism
I got my favorite beer - Carlinger!
and pre-sweetened kool aid you eat with your finger
(you lick your finger, and you stick it in the bag
then you stick it down your throat - but not too far or you gag)
that's less then 10, check me out, go ahead
oh, I forgot the tuna and the bread........

Too high for the supermarket
too high for the grocery store
too high for the supermarket
ain't gonna shop like this no more

The Uninvited

-- Dude (dude@huh.what?), December 24, 1999

Answers

Real Audio clip

-- Dude (dude@huh.what?), December 24, 1999.

crap - try pasting this

http://www.uninvited.com/RealPlayer.cfm?file=04

-- Dude (dude@huh.what?), December 24, 1999.

OK, Mr. President, time to go back to the White House. Mrs. Clinton wants a word with you.

Kook Mon

-- Y2Kook (y2kook@usa.net), December 24, 1999.

I realize things are looking bad for the extreme Y2K pessimists, but do we really have to resort to this?

-- Butt Nugget (catsbutt@umailme.com), December 24, 1999.

here Butt Nugget, find one of these in your wallet, and go buy yourself a "sense of humor starter kit"... the malls are open untill 5:00 today...


-- Dude (dude@huh.what?), December 24, 1999.

Uh huh. Great, just great. We'll do lunch real soon. Don't call me, I'll call you. In the meantime, don't quit your day job.

-- Gary S. (garys_2k@yahoo.com), December 24, 1999.