Mid Program Reflective Paper By Carol A. Thesing January 21, 2000

Looking back as an adult upon my learning leads to a Pandoras box of feelings. On one hand, there is laughter, fun and friendships and on the other, there is sadness, fear, and a feeling of will I get it right. B.F. Skinner said, Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. Perhaps this is why when we challenge our assumptions and really reflect on what we know and how we know it, we find change and learning come almost automatically. The reverse is also true. If you cant get to the point of true engagement, learning becomes a struggle and what is learned has little to do with the content area.

Family influenced my formative education years with enthusiasm, endless possibilities and conscientiousness. Questions like, What did you learn? were common in my household. Maybe that is why I was so surprised as we moved into transformative learning to find not all people thought about the why and what of happenings in their life. I never remember, as a child, a time or even a feeling of not being able to do something I wanted because of gender, physical ability, resources, etc. We were always encouraged to research, ask questions, and if it still was important, to go for it, giving it your best shot. It wasnt until seventh grade when I first became aware of biases due to diversity. As I look back, I find that amazing and almost unbelievable.

I loved grade school. My sisters and I would often play school at home. I attended a country school for the first three grades and then took a bus to a typical grade school in town. The country school expanded learning by having all three grades in one room. I could watch, listen, and as a reward got to help others as the various grades had their lessons. I particularly like the whole school activities, like music, story time, and recess. Learning seemed to fit the gifted and the slow learner better in the country school setting without using labels or pull out classes.

Junior high and high school was tedious, repetitious, and I had difficulty attaching relevancy to the typical subjects. I did enjoy the relationships, the extra curriculars, and the activities surrounded by school. I was more interested in why people responded the way they did and how they worked to get what they wanted than anything in my textbooks.

College lead me to a education degree. I have always enjoyed researching information, finding solutions, and working with others. Working in extension has connected me to many valuable resources. The single most important resource for me was one of my District Directors, Paige Baker. He taught me to reach, to learn and listen to other, but most importantly to listen to ones self. It was through Paige, I learned that education isnt something you teach, it is a part of who you are and all that you do. It is not a fragmented piece easily measured, counted or reviewed to find its essence. Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.

Working as a teacher for fourteen years taught me more about learning than any formal education. Observing and listening to students became a key in understanding learning differences. The most destructive behavior I observed was limiting ones self or others by the lack of seeing the possibilities. From an art teacher colleague, I learned most all things are skill based. She used art as an example, saying anyone can paint or draw if they learn the correct skill. I didnt think this could be possible. I always thought art was a gift and only few people had it. I took her challenge and began art lessons. The artwork I created was astonishing, I will never be a Monet or Rembrandt but I did alright and I learned a very valuable lesson about setting limits I will never forget. I also increased my listen skills as a teacher, but it would be years later before I discovered how superficially I listened and understanding was minimal at this level.

As I entered this masters program, my interest and drive was to explore areas of learning beyond the traditional. This is still my high area of interest. I know in my heart as I know the world is bigger than our galaxy, that communication and learning is much bigger than we see it. Critical pedagogy and skills in transformative learning has moved me closer to my goal. Perhaps in looking back, gaining the use and understanding of the language associated with transformative learning helped me ask the right questions and to recognize the essence of transformative principles.

What I once thought was an ideal or evolving way of learning, I found was not new at all. By understanding the language, I found ideas of transformative thinking in the Fast Company articles I read. Granted, I looked for and read that type of article but the idea of finding them in a concrete, technological business magazine was surprising.

If I had to name a model most influential to my learning it would have to be the Linda Wing model. (I named this model with Dr. Quinteros permission.) Linda is a strategical planner getting her doctorate degree in transformational learning. Lindas model tears down walls and open doors and windows. It takes you past current thinking and traditional barriers. The Linda Wing model lead me to new writings but it also gave me direction to find relevant learning from the past, such as writing from Socrates, Plato, the Bible and works on Taoism. Because the Wing model came before the masters program, I saw transformative learning much broader than the critical pedagogy or the transformational learning as we learned about it in the summer classes.

I believe transformative learning as we learned it means a change in the formation of the thought process to bring about a different more accurate understanding. Using this definition, Jack Mezirows model gives the best source of critical reflection and how to attain it. Patricia Cranton writes with a less clinical style and is much easier for me to understand. She interprets Mezirow, Jung, Perera, Sardello, as well as others. Cranton includes the intuitive process, the personal unconscious, and the collective or objective unconscious of discernment and learning through soulwork. That is why she is one of my favorite resources.

Stephen Brookfields model also deals with critical reflection but pushes further to social and structural assumptions. Paradigmatic, hegemonic, prescriptive are just a few. These assumptions deal with social structure and choices about society. Where Mezirow and Cranton teach technique and understanding, Brookfield creates a attitude of obligation to move toward social justice. Although Brookfield writes insightfully and brilliantly, his work leaves me with a feeling of being manipulated.

After attending the conference on transformative learning in San Rafael, CA, many of the concepts started coming together for me. The conference acknowledged five components: 1) social justice, 2) cultural diversity, 3) spirituality, 4) multiple ways of knowing, 5) body, mind, spirit and earth. Despite the fact, people were uncomfortable with parts of the conference, my belief in needing to get in touch with your spirit or soul as a part of critical reflection was affirmed.

Great educators, Friere, Bronte de Avila, Senge, Vaill, Moore, Palmer, seemed to seek out the connection to spirit or the freeing of spirit by removing barriers or providing a positive environment. To me, again it is another facet but not the whole gem. I conclude connecting and understanding of ones own soul or spirit is necessary for ultimate learning to take place. The kind of learning that is life changing. As exciting as I find this theory, I also feel the responsibility that goes with this type of learning and the risk involved when exposing your soul to others.

Again I find more questions as I read and research deeper into the different ways of knowing and changing. I am certain we have only touched the tip of the iceberg. Shakti Gawain said, "Change happens not by trying to make yourself change but by becoming conscious of what is not working. If we equate change with learning, this could be critical reflection.

In closing, I am including a list of books I have found intriguing for those interested in moving closer to soulwork.

Belenky, M., Clinchy, B., Goldberger, N., Tarule, J. (1997). Womens ways of knowing. New York: Basic Books.

Broomfield, J. (1997) Other ways of knowing: Recharting our future with ageless wisdom. Rochester, VT: Inner Traditions.

Myss, C. (1996). Anatomy of the spirit. New York: Three Rivers Press.

Zukav, G. (1989). The seat of the soul. New York: Simon & Schuster.

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000