I have a 17 month old son who will probably be 2 1/2 - 3 years old when I finish my childbirth educator and Doula certificates and my question is what do you do with your children if one of you clients goes into labor during the day? I am a stay at home mom, my husband works during the days. evenings and nights would never be a problem seeing as he is home. Do daycare centers have drop in schedule? Just starting the process and this is one of my major set backs. Any input would be great Thanks

-- courtney delaura (delaura7@aol.com), January 28, 2000

Answers

My children are 7, 5, and 3 (were 5, 2-1/2, and 1 when I started). My husband's schedule used to be flexible, so my first choice was always to call him and ask if he could come home. If not, I had three friends that I had asked if they would be willing to cover on short notice when he wasn't available. (I also homeschool, so the first mom on my list is also a homeschoooler and she just teaches all our kids.)

I've only missed one birth for childcare reason, but that could have been avoided if the mom had called me earlier. (I tell all my clients to call even if they only THINK they might be in labor, so that I can start arranging (possible) childcare, even tho it may be several hours before they need me.) However, this particular mom went into labor about ten AM and called me about ten PM. Since she didn't follow the instructions, I didn't feel bad. I arranged for a back up doula to come and take over for me early in the morning so I could return to my family. She then stayed with mom till the birth later that afternoon.

Hope this helps.

p.s.--being on call, being away from my family, and other reasons is why I focus more on my childbirth classes and am taking less and less doula clients. Women will always be having babies, but my children won't be children forever.

-- celeste (boysrus@netusa1.net), February 13, 2000.

I have had a great deal of difficulty here as well. Child care people don't want to be on call or they say "sure ,I'd be glad to help" but when I call ,needing them immediately, they renig. It's been a frustrating obstacle to overcome. My husband has been my only reliable sitter. I even once had someone return my children to my home where my poor husband having worked 10 or more hours was sleeping. I was in the middle of helping a woman (vbac)who needed me terribly .I was not going to abandon her . I had made a commitment. MY husband kept them and the birth was a triumph . I was NOT happy with this lady at all.In the near future I plan for my now 11 yr old to keep all but the smallest of my 5 kids. I hope this works for me .Other people have suggested offering 50$ to a sitter as a flat fee regardless of the length of time they are kept . I still haven't found anyone dependable. If my mother or mother in law lived near enough that would be perfect. H ave any close friends or relatives who might be willing to help ?

-- sandra carpenter (doulamom5@cs.com), February 24, 2000.

Hi Courtney- How about getting together a bunch of doulas who also have the same problem? That's how some doulas are dealing with it where I work. Chances are not everyone will be at a birth at once and goodness knows we understand the strange hours that doulas keep. In any case it is always good to have the support of other doulas to keep you working at your best!

Good luck solving this issue- Kirsten

-- Kirsten Gerrish (kirsten@doula.net), March 17, 2000.