I found this in my mailbox this morning. Looks like authentic dIEter-speak. Enjoy! (Don't worry, we're letting him in...)

hYeNA!!!!

hOW coULD iT BE thUS ThAT ThOu sEEItH FiT tO DEnY ThE diETeR HiS DuES To obSErVe yOUr huMAn frAILtY In acTiONs?????? pasSWorD SHmasSWorD!!!! dILLwICK!! dO YoU WiSh tHAT THe diETeR SHoULd Hate YOu????? weLL????? shOuLD diETer drEDGe uP YOur LAmenTATioNS abOUT HoW tHE deITeR HasT ABanDOnED You?????? HuH??? POsTEd fOR aLL to seE????? do NoT BuNgHOleS DO thIS???? diETer LOvES me NoT???????

diETeR hAS abANdoNEd yOU NoT!!!!!! jaCKaL!!!!! Oh soRRy PLeaSe HoLd mY HaND INfidEL!!!!!! inFIdEL i sAY!!!!!!

foOLisH chILd!!!!! iS It nOT OutSiDE The inTELLecT Of diETeR tO GUidE YoU FRoM AfaR????? oF CouRsE IT Is noT !!!!!! caNNot yOU caRry oN THusLY WHoLE, uNBIddEN By moRTaL mEN????? weLL??? of COurSE yOU maY!!!! bUT If yOU wISH thAT DIetER WIelD HIS PoweRFuL hAnd aT YouR BEheST, mUST yOu nOT prE-EmpT thE EXcLusIOnS ENduREd bY dIETeR By yOUR FOoLisH PassWOrdINEsS??????? wELL???? spEAk up!!!!! gOOd mORnInG!!!!

gO CHiLD!!!! sIn NO MoRE AgaINSt dIETer wHO GUarDS YoU FRom afAR!!!!! lEt nOnE Of yoUR FOoLIshNEss Be bEYoND HiS reACh!!!!!! hiDE Not frOM diETeR THat whICh is MeaNT TO be SEeN!!!!!

iT Is spOKEn!!!! iT sHALL tHUs bE DoNE!!!!!

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), February 03, 2000

Answers

Go diETeR !

-- justme (justme@myhouse.com), February 03, 2000.

FM....doesn't that give you a headache? WoW!

-- justme (justme@myhouse.com), February 03, 2000.

justme,

Not a chance! (Unless I take off my glasses...)

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), February 04, 2000.

I think it shows a charming propensity to confuse paper mail with email, and keyboards with pencils. Mixing up character case to obscure origins only works with the right combination of the above (of course, there is the dramatic effect, but I think that of the content could be heightened by removing that of the font). I imagine the invective and the confusion are related (they usually are).

-- Jack Appelmans (jack.appelmans@state.ma.us), February 04, 2000.

But, you have to remember Jack--he's our "pet troll!" We luv him!

-- sweetpea (on@the.farm), February 04, 2000.

Jack, we love diETeR...he and The Squirrel King are what keep us unstable!

-- justme (justme@myhouse.com), February 04, 2000.

Amen to THAT, just me!

Long live the Squirrel King!

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), February 05, 2000.

Just what the doctor ordered!

-- Wilferd (WilferdW@aol.com), February 07, 2000.