Do you jump right in and start spending time with the person you just met at the grocery store? Does it take you a year to feel comfortable with a new person in your life? Or...?

-- ann monroe (monroe@chorus.net), February 17, 2000

Answers

It doesn't take me long to be comfortable with other people, but I am exceedingly extroverted and I love to talk. The problem is I'm opinionated, arrogant, and obnoxious and it takes people a while to get comfortable with me.

Now, admittedly, there are people who I don't like to get too close to. For one thing, unless you've known me for a long time, putting your hands on me is a bad idea. I don't like to be touched by people I don't know, and I prefer to have a large area of personal space around me. Don't pat my arm or put your hand on my shoulder... this makes me hostile, nervous and uneasy.

I don't tend to get "friendly" with my co-workers. I work here, not be friends. This doesn't alway hold true, and there are some co- wprkers that I like as friends... but I tend to hold my life and my work away from each other.

And I have a sort of peculiar way of being friendly... if I poke fun at you, I consider you to be a friend. I am only polite and reserved with people I don't like. The less I like someone, the less likely I am to even talk to them at all... I certainly don't insult someone I don't like, as insults should be creative, imaginative, and well- phrased, and certainly not worth the effort of wasting on someone that I can't stand.

Like I said, the question is more "how soon can you get used to me?"

KT

-- KT Hicks (kt_hicks@yahoo.com), February 17, 2000.

I don't make friends easily. However, I keep friends quite well. I have discovered that most of my friends were acquired through sharing danger or hardship. I guess I need to learn an easier way to make friends before we all die out.

-- Rick Nelson (nesenrik@bellsouth.net), February 18, 2000.

People who are a bit radical tend to get to know me easily but always tell me I'm conservative. People who are more conservative tend to be a little put off by me at first, and of course from them I always hear about how radical I am.

-- Dean Cullen (deancullen1@msn.com), February 19, 2000.

I'm usually looking to befriend people, and I'm pretty successful at making friendly aquaintances very quickly. I don't generally rush into "instant" friendship with people however. It takes time to really get to know someone to the point where I'd consider them a friend. If someone is already friends with other friends of mine, the process goes more quickly. I tend to get along best with laid-back, easy-going people or people with similar interests and personality traits as me. People that I don't match up as well with tend to never make it past the aquaintance phase. It doesn't usually take more than a week before I'm comfortable fitting a new friend into my life. It could take as little as a day or two.

-- Aaron (lordloki@serv.net), February 21, 2000.

I think that this is a very profound question. While running the chance of sounding a bit out of it. Because of the different levels of friendship I consider myself friendly toward people until I have a reason not to be. But this is not to mean that I have hundreds of friends either. Its like the rings of a tree, the outer rings are the people that you meet briefly and have pleasant conversations with but give no more thought to. As you work your way inward there are those who you work with, go to school with or see on a daily basis. These people are social friends or associates if you will. But the question must be asked are they friends? The next ring are those who have personal knowledge of you, like the people that have watched you grow up or go through hard times. These people can be a great support and we all have them, but again does that make them a friend? or a form of family? The next ring would be those people who have intimate knowledge of you, these could include thoses whom you are in a relationship with or just those who you picked up at the bar for a one night stand. Are these people friends? I think most of us, who are mature adults have strong relationships with those that make it into this inner sanctum and do call them friends, lovers, significant others, or partners. These people are who I truly consider to be friends, and they are hard to come by. Often people have there own agenda, out for what is good for them but not necissarily for those around them. When you find someone to come into this inner circle they are rare and treasured. they make the biggest imprint on your life and the longest, fondest memories. I think this is a good discription, if everyone you meet instantly became a friend it would in effect cheapen it and soon it would be meaningless.

-- dj (pusswha@hotmail.com), March 07, 2000.