After the credits rolled on last weeks epi "be still my heart" i was true to the title. it was like someone had gut punched me. That night i saw lucys stare in my dreams. During the week i worked and went on with life, waiting for the next episode. Every few days, when the horror of that look would fade, NBC would show another commercial (vauge as they were) with clips, scences of what had happened and what was to come. Thursday finally crawled up, slower than i ever remember it,my (and countless others) anticipation keeping it at bay. I set my VCR and hit record, just a few minutes till 10. I was so excited, nervous...scared. As the show came on, i again watch the scence from last week, the shock still touching me. when Carrie walked past that door so many times i felt like jumping up and screaming. I held my breath during commercials, i wiped my eyes constantly. I smiled at seeing some characters, watching thier love become apparent in their works and their grief. I watched others with shock as they showed emotions not ever before seen on them. I wanted to hold hands, wipe tears,save lives. But no, i was just watching, and maybe that was enough. Because just watching left me tired, emotionally worn out, sad. I felt love towards the characters, the looks in their eyes. I felt pity for the wife, so innocent and trusting...in a way, like lucy herself. I wondered at the reactions to come, the pain, fear, guilt, love that are sure to surface in the coming weeks. I wonder how many of us shed tears during that episode, especially since tears were all but absent from it. How many of us held our breath as romano and corday held up their hands. How many of watched in sorrow as the sheet was pulled up. How many? The answer is simple, all of us.

-- Jennifer S. K. (kidwelj@aol.com), February 18, 2000

Answers

I could not agree more! (Hello, everyone, I'm new here, btw). Lucy's death really struck me in some way. Being 15, and Lucy being one of the youngest staff members, I always felt I could relate to her emotions, and watching that episode last night I couldn't help but hold my breath the whole time. I didn't tape the episode, but I know that I will never forget the look on Lucy's face as she laid their on the floor bleeding, the look in her eyes when she thanked Dr. Corday, or terrified, yet sad look on her face when Dr. Corday promised she'd "get her through this" -- it was just so innocent, and she was so helpless. I was still crying an hour after the episode...

~Andrea

-- Andrea (andiweaves@aol.com), February 18, 2000.

I couldn't believe the killed off Lucy. I think they should bring her back as a spirit to haunt the ER or maybe just Dr. Carter. If they turn it into a dream sequence I will never watch the series again.

-- (Ridjrf@aol.com), February 18, 2000.

I hated this episode. I like Lucy and thought that killing her off was a dumb move, but what do I know i'm just the audience!!! They could have done this a diffrent way. Maybe made it so after this incedent Lucy and Carter.....and added some type of problem that arose and continued that made Lucy's character more to the liking of the parts of the audience who didn't like her. Every show needs one character who is diffrent from the rest. I think Lucy was that character. I will probably continue to watch the show but this will probably make me not like it as much or make me want to watch it as often if they are going to be killing off good characters!!!

Seriously Not Happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Lisa Diehl (LisDiehl@aol.com), February 18, 2000.

I totally agree with you Lisa, I loved Lucy- she was one of my favorite characters. I was NOT happy about them killing her off. Does anyone know if she left by choice (to pursue other things) or if she was knocked off because of her character likeabiltity?

-- Danette Preston (bjpind@televar.com), February 18, 2000.

Kellie Martin wanted to leave the show... the actress chose to leave (she wanted to go back to school and be near her new husband), so please reign in your emotions and quit blaming the writers for killing her off. I think the way they chose for her to exit was wonderful. I mean, I don't like the fact that her character died, but I really, really liked Lucy, and I'm glad that the writers chose to accentuate her exit in such a way that no one ever forgets her.

-- L. (bearcatiscool@yahoo.com), February 18, 2000.

I believe of all the episodes of ER that I have watched this one had the most tears for me to shed. Kellie Martin's character Lucy brought a wonderful person into the ER. But this will be one of the most memorable episodes ever. I just wish they would not have killed her off the show. I believe the emotions will be shown in episodes that follow. How could they not???

-- aileen (aileenak@juno.com), February 18, 2000.

I will miss Kellie Martin's character sooo much! I know she wanted off of the show, but why couldn't they just make her injuries so catastrophic that she would have to leave (live). But I have to admit, the show really touched me last night.

-- a. (mzniss_pooh@yahoo.com), February 18, 2000.

Look, she wanted to leave the show, she asked for a voilent exit, I guess if you're mad about the end, then you should be mad at Kelli Martin. Still I thought it was great. I thought her character had a lot of possibilites but she never got enough time to really ammount to anything much and she was pretty forgettable most of the time. But this episode rocketed her from the realms of a short lived forgettable character to one that no one will forget and one that will leap to people's minds whenever people talk about ER for years to come. I think this was probably one of the best things that could have happened. It gave Kelli a chance to prove her acting mettle and it gave the writers an impetus for a great storyline. But phuleez...no dream sequences, no ghosts (who suggested ghosts? wanna kill ER in one episode?), please, no cheese!

-- 2222 (rachelrr@ivillage.com), February 18, 2000.

I was one that thought they could have had Lucy'c character leave in a different way, BUT, I was thinking along the same lines as a few others. Does anyone really remember Susan, who was Mark's girlfriend, and she left the show, just moved to another city. Very forgetable, Lucy deserved to leave in a big way, and I think that was one of the best episodes of ER I have seen. We will ALWAYS remember Lucy and miss her, which is a great plus to Kelly Martin, we will watch for her in other movies or programs. What do you think?

-- Elayna Elliott (elli@telus.net), February 18, 2000.

Great comments Jennifer. I agree about the wife. When she realized that Paul had done it the look on her face was horrible.

-- May Archer (archerl@cadvision.com), February 18, 2000.

Lisa & Kelly - If Lucy had just left the show to take another job, or whatever --- her character would be forgotten in no time. This emotional rollarcoaster that we have all been on for the past two weeks is because of the very violent and sad ending. As Mike has stated, there have been over 8oo messages on this board. This was drama at it's best. Kellie Martin and Lucy will never be forgotten and the viewers were also able to see great acting and emotional range from the other characters. It was the best story line the writers ever gave Lucy. Perhaps if they had given her more, she would have stayed. I will never forget the scene of Lucy on the floor so helpless and Carter staring at her. It will haunt me but I thought the two episodes were terrific.

-- Carol S. (buzycarol@aol.com), February 19, 2000.