Are you always honest?

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Is there anything that justifies dishonesty? Any situation where it would be okay, or at least understandable? Or are you more the radical honesty type, no matter what? Do tell...

-- ann monroe (monroe@chorus.net), February 19, 2000

Answers

Yes I am honest. There are few things imo that every would justify dishonesty or where I would consider it ok or understandable in the other person. Even then, it likely would be more of feeling simply a short delay until the situation is right would be appropriate.

Most of the time, I see omission also as dishonesty. In some *few* cases, I see omission as ok but not in regards to people who have any notable relationship. Some people are not involved in parts of my life so they may not be told some things, nor need to know (especially where there is a role like work or business or community service involved).

I really dislike it when people use omission a lot and portray themselves as honest, don't accept that they are consciously choosing a less honest approach.

I am direct in my honesty but not necessarily brutal or radical. (Non-direct people though can perceive directness as mean or inconsiderate I've found.) I try to communicate in a way that is effective and consider the person and situation. I will err on the honesty side though rather than waiting to figure it out just perfectly (in part because that's impossible, in part because I rate honesty, communication, and non-avoidance high in my personal priorities and ethics).

-- Annie C. Hawan (anechawan@excite.com), February 19, 2000.


For the most part I'm honest but sometimes I find it necessary to be dishonest at work... no that wasn't me skinny dipping in the pool last night... no we wern't having cocktails in the lounge after the shift last night...etc.

-- Dean Cullen (deancullen1@msn.com), February 21, 2000.

As a rule, I am always honest. Fortunately, I am a human being, which means I am not perfect.

I succumb to lying occasionally in those rushed, terrifying moments when there is no time to discuss with yourself the possibility of truth or no truth. The heart-skipping, what-if-I-am-wrong, don't-want- to-lose-out, must-protect-myself second of pressure when you stare at their lips and turn your mind elsewhere.

From lying, I return to reality knowing that I have denied part of me, that I have suppressed my spirit. I feel I have lost a little part of me --- of my life --- to some made up kind of threat. When I am conscious of myself, I know that no one can harm me --- my soul/spirit. I can only be inconvenienced by external forces.

Another way I look at it is to ask, "If I lie to someone, what would make my friends believe I wouldn't lie to them?" Most people say they lie if they don't respect or like someone --- but those are subjective. Sometimes we don't like our friends --- either in a temporary or ongoing manner. Is it OK to lie to them then? If so, they have not idea when you are telling the truth or lying. And anyway --- why do I deserve to suffer (and be denied myself) for someone I don't like?

So, I tell the truth

-- Ms. Enigmatic (enigma@chorus.net), March 11, 2000.


I really don't have a problem lying to most people as long as it doesn't hurt them. For instance, when most people ask me about sex I claim to strict manogamy. I've found that people will actually be offended by anything else, even though it has NOTHING to do with my relationship to them or my personality. To avoid social prejudices like this, and for some other similar things which avoid confrontation yet harm nobody, lying is in my opinion justified. It could be better to talk through your opinion with people, try to get them to abandon their prejudices, but most people are so ingrained with them that they are absolutely unable to do that, and will never regard you as a person again, but instead as a member of a group, whatever that group may be.

-- Matt (fourteetwo@usa.net), April 13, 2000.

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