If you had to choose either extreme professional success OR an extremely happy private life, with the rest of your life tolerable but boring, which would you choose? Why? [Question paraprased from The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.]

-- ann monroe (monroe@chorus.net), February 27, 2000

Answers

You know, it's hard for me to imagine a happy private life without a successful career being some part of the mix -- as long, of course, as it's my choice of career, which is part of my definition of "successful career." Plus, how do we define "success": money in the bank? personal satisfaction with one's work? accolades from peers and the public?

Okay, that's cheating your question. To take it in absolute terms, I'd choose the extremely happy private life. After all, a successful career -- even "extreme success" -- by no means guarantees happiness, or even vague contentment. In the equation of the question, if it were presented to me by Alladin's genie -- only one choice negates the possibility of you living out your life "successful" but miserable. Richard Cory, and all that. My private life encompasses *so many* things that are not career-related -- relationships now and in the future, personal growth and satisfaction, my desire to learn to juggle, my writing -- that when I die I'd rather be able to look back on *that* and smile than on the way my career stacks up in the record books.

That said, let me go on record as saying that happiness and material success are not contraindicated in my medicine plan, nor do I believe that lack of money necessarily feeds the muse. If I can write well, achieve high marks on our culture's standard measurements for success, *and* end my days with wads of cash, career satisfaction, and a personal life that's at least as good as mine is now, that's just fine by me. :{)

-- Mark Bourne (mbourne@sff.net), February 28, 2000.

The two are linked to me. If I chose a life based on my home/my private life, that would be my career and success would be a key in it so I would not have one or the other. My life is mixed without clear boundaries between the parts of it. I am very career driven and I have a full life outside of work, with friends, in the community, . . . . there are parts that don't intersect but it varies with the situation/job and the risk involved. I am not a very private person to start with, so the concept of 'private life'is a bit foreign to me. I also am a risk taker and tend toward jobs and situations where managing risk is involved.

As a passionate person in life overall, I work hard, I play hard, I even rest and relax hard. My life has generally never been truly boring in any aspect and I doubt it could be because of who I am. I know how to find interesting things and do so.

So, in short, I choose life *and* success in life so I will have *both* professional success and happy private life in one form or another. Considering my propensity for extremes/intensity/passion, I could choose either because I am confident in my ability to have both anyway. That said, I weigh in slightly more highly on the life side than the career but don't consider it a 'private' life. Now, will all other NT's (as in the MBTI) please stand up, be counted as understanding, and applaude such a definitional answer?!!

-- aka 'bubbly' (ugghhh) (leet@megsinet.net), February 29, 2000.