Whether on purpose or by accident - how was your life changed?

-- ann monroe (monroe@chorus.net), March 03, 2000

Answers

So there was this guy, Dave. Hoffenkamp? I think that was his last name.

Dave introduced me to DJ. DJ introduced me to Rich. Rich got me to move to Texas. Emorog was in Texas. Emorog got me online, and then we moved to Madison. Because I was online, I found Karawynn's web site and the word "polyamorous." Emorog and I talked it over and decided that polyamory was for us. I joined the local poly group, and met my best friend, Ms. Enigmatic, and my sweetie, Worthy.

I wonder what Dave's up to these days? Secretly running world politics?

-- ann monroe (monroe@chorus.net), March 03, 2000.

Stella Buchanan, a high school girlfriend. But it wasn't until years later that she became a hinge point in my life.

Seven years after I'd taken her to the senior prom and she left to attend college far away, we'd stayed in sporadic but friendly contact via Christmas cards, the occasional letter, etc. In '88 I was young out of college and had been working as a high school English & drama teacher. I didn't want to do that anymore and was searching around for a Master's program so I could follow my love of theater to a higher degree (so to speak). She suggested the university near where she was living, which had a dynamite arts graduate program. (She wasn't trying to get us back together, just being friendly.) I said, "What the hell," and before long I was on my way there with not only a Masters program but a fellowship that paid for it all plus a living stipend. Woo hoo! And yeah, it was good to have a friendly face to show me around when I arrived.

=A lot= occurred in the next two years. Got the degree. Made friends who are still in my life. Seriously dated a wonderful woman (after enjoying the company of a few more). And most significantly, discovered my career calling when I directed two of Ray Bradbury's plays in the local planetarium (working with Mr. Bradbury via phone and mail in the process). A lifelong astronomy buff, I joined the planetarium staff that summer. That earned me the prestigious Astronomer Intern position at the Strasenburgh Planetarium in Rochester, NY, a _grand dame_ in the field. *That* led to me being hired as the Writer/Producer at the planetarium here in Portland. *That* led to my work on =the= Star Trek planetarium show, which among other things caused me to meet Elizabeth Lawhead, the computer graphics artist we hired for the project. That artist is now my wife. Her positive effects on my life are still ongoing.

So Stella was the initiating domino in a long line that fell -- tik tik tik -- in a particular pattern that would not have existed without her. Had I not met her all those years ago, I'd be a very different me doing very different things in a very different place. Any one of uncountable "alternate history" scenarios could have played out from any other initiating domino, but I have reasons aplenty to be glad that Stella was it. Ten years after my arrival at the university, I wrote her and thanked her for being such a dynamic hinge in my life. Last night I phoned her and her husband to offer my condolences for her mother's death.

-- Mark (mbourne@sff.net), March 03, 2000.

Renee Radford. I was in love with her for a very long time, we were engaged for two years and were going to be married in three years. It never could have worked between us but I loved her so much I didn't see it; she was a very strict christian and I'm a pretty open-minded agnostic (meaning I don't think anything is "wrong" unless it hurts someone, and I don't even try to claim I know if and what god is). Anyway, she was the great-god niece of Robert Heinlein so I started reading some of his books, and found that it was really philosophical, the science-fiction aspect was merely secondary. It was actually Robert Heinlein who pushed me towards polygamy and discarding a lot of other silly notions I had until then. I was manogamous still when I was with Renee, and, ironically, she ended up cheating on me so the relationship ended. It wasn't her sleeping with someone else that bothered me, it was the lying.

-- Matt (fourteetwo@usa.net), April 13, 2000.