How to tell you are from Massachusetts . . .

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1) The person driving in front of you is going 70 MPH and you are cursing him for going too slow

2) The fact that Routes 128 and 95 are pretty much the same thing doesn't confuse you

3) When ordering a tonic, you mean a coke... not water with bubbles

4) You can navigate a rotary without a problem

5) You almost feel insulted when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off, or steal their parking space, etc.

6) You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill and Cotuit

7) You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer

8) You know that there are two Bulger brothers (both are crooks.. but, you know there are two)

9) You have been to Fenway Park

10) You knew that there was no chance in Hell that the Patriots would move to Hartford (Ha! Ha!)

11) You laugh at all of the other states in New England

12) You know of at least 1 diner or food vendor to get something to eat after last call

13) You can actually find your way around Boston

14) You have spent at least 1 weekend at UMass

15) The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools

16) You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's Bitches or something worse

17) Colleges are used as landmarks for directions (i.e., Go past MIT until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going until you get to Tufts.

18) Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever

19) Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday

20) You know at least 1 guy either named Sean, Pat, White, Red, O.B. or Seamus

21) You think the rest of the country owes you for having things like Thanksgiving and independence

22) As a kid you laughed at the kids down south who never got to have 'snow days'

23) You feel that the rest of the world needs to drive more like you

24) The Beanpot is a hockey tournament not a serving container

25) You take great pride in Cheers

26) You can recognize a Revere girl simply by looking at her hair

27) You know exactly where you were when Buckner missed the ball

28) You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a direction

29) Somebody calls you a Masshole and you take it as a compliment

30) You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of speech, unless you live west of Worcester where you speak perfect English. Although this area is sometimes not recognized as being part of the state.

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), March 15, 2000

Answers

Numbers 1, 2, 4, and 5 are New Jersey too, might be a northeast thing?

27) You know exactly where you were when Buckner missed the ball

In a bar..with my ex-husband, who had passed out from excessive drinking..They told me "take him home", but I wanted to see the end of the game, so we put him in a corner...and I got to see the most incredible ending to any game. Well worth it!

Buckner still gets applauded in Shea stadium to this very day!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), March 16, 2000.


Kritter, I kinda figured you would identify with some of these. And as far as Buckner, it never was his fault, that damned manager who left him in the game. I was at a friend's house in Arlington, speechless of course.

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), March 16, 2000.

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