Perez is off to West Brom for rest of season. I'm going to have to have a little drink to celebrate. I absolutely detest that f*cker hanging around at NUFC. I want to blow torch him every time I see him (might even warm me up at Kingston Park).

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Answers

Softie, I might just join you in that celebratory drink! I'm in Birtley this afternoon but could either call in Toon after work or mebbes better still, sample the delights of Willington Quay/Howdon?

Screach

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Sampling the delights of Willington Quay it is...bring your hiking boots for the hill and a big stick for the urchins :-)

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Right - but we must keep off the French. OK? Shall I hammer some tacks into my big stick?

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Best not; the industrious little b*ggers'll winkle them out and let your tyres down with them...

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Oh dear. Official s*ite reports that rumours of Perez moving to West Brom are incorrect.

Pass me the pills.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Demmed dodgy sinus medication I'm on.....has me feeling extremely dizzy, nauseous, and seeing things...such as this on the official s*ite: Meanwhile stories which have suggested that Lionel Perez is to join West Brom are not correct.

I think I better go lie back down for a few minutes prior to studying our Wembley opposition during tonight's game. I'm obviously feeling worse than I thought.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Duncan...you mean it's NOT my pills causing me to hallucinate?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *bangs head on desk*

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Duncan...you mean all that beer I drank with Softie was not warranted?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *bangs head on desk*

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Teamtwaddle confirms that WBA have pulled out of the deal to take the makem frog "at the last moment".

Very suspicious! Found out about his electrical current orientation ambiguity, perhaps?

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Either that or someone told them he wasn't a real goalkeeper.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

We couldn't have been so lucky.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I may be in a minority of one, but I feel sorry for Perez. Don't really like giving our players stick - whatever their backgounds. In spite of the fact everyone on here implies he is just staying here for the money, he must be desperate to leave. Who wants to eff around in the reserves for two years. I think we should lay off him.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

LP is going nowhere - he stays. This is news hot off the press, I just thought all my new friends all over the world would like to know.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Beardo, his loans fall throuhg because clubs won't pay his wages. No idea what he's on but as he was a "free" he probably got a bit extra wedge in salary. He'll be on premiership wages and won't "agree personal terms" on a lower salary just to play football.

Lucky Baggies eh?

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Geordie Do we know that that is true? Seems depressing if so - sitting there 4th choice goalie, hated by everyone..and such a short career as well. The bizarre thing is that Karelse was an even worse buy as he was so unnecessary. Was Perez fit when we were playing Tommy Wright earlier this season? Beardo

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Sorry, but Perez is completely useless even in training. Can't stop a ball, can't kick a ball...and that's when there's only 5yds between him and his fellow keepers who are throwing or kicking the ball to him...or waiting to stop his throw or kick. I'm ready to give anyone a chance if they look like they're at least *trying* but the only thing I can give Perez is that he's good comic value...at least until I remembered that we're paying him to be a keeper rather than comedian. If he really wanted to get his career going again, he'd take a wage cut and go on loan someplace that could guarantee him a game. I can't imagine anyone at the club has given him any encouragement in ever playing in our first team...short of a disaster doing away with all the keepers ahead of him...including Solano who looks far livlier between the posts and at least stops a few shots.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

The most damning example of Lionel's insistence on staying for the loot was when he turned down a move back to France after failing to agree personal terms. No prejudice, he's simply atrocious. He has a 5 minute attention span and wanders up to the halfway line to see what's going on. He loves to try to dribble the ball out of the area but has NEVER got around a single forward yet and invariably loses posession and one of the defenders has to get back to make a goal- line clearance - when we are lucky.

Last week we had a powerful wind gusting from the left. Any normal human being would have worked out that if he kicked the ball slightly into the wind it would float back in-field; oh no, not Perez, he hoofs it with the wind and the bloody thing ended up on the roof of the main stand. There's no excusing that. He screwed up in the final of the Northumberland Senior Cup against Blyth Spartans last season and Stuart Pearce spent the last 2 minutes of the first half and the whole walk to the tunnel giving him a piece of his mind. A grade A w*nker.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

According to opta soccer which is listing ALL deadline day transfers as they happen. Le Frog is 'probably' on his way to Cambridge on loan.

I can't believe that this is my hundredth posting, I think it's more than I did last year on the communicata board

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

According to football365's transfer list....he's GONE! At least until the end of the season..to Cambridge United. YES!!! Though I feel bad for Cambridge supporters.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Just found the following on the Cambridge United site......you may have seen it before but it made me laugh:

====================================================================== >>>>>Cambridge will unleash their exciting new deadline-day loan signings on Oxford in a game vital to both sides' hopes of staying in the Second Division.

Former Sunderland goalkeeper Lionel Perez, snapped up from Newcastle and midfielder Jonathan Hunt, who made a surprise switch from Sheffield United, will make their U's debuts<<<<<<

=================================================================== Their idea of 'exciting' is presumably some new concept unknown to most people, or is life really that dull in the Fenlands.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Just been 'mooching' round some of the other sites and just had to quote the wonderful line from one NUFC.com which suggests that

"Lionel Perez will be well suited to life in Cambridge, as there are lots of 'Punts' there already"

.......class line well delivered and just had to be shared.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

We should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky....

Aahhh go Kylie, oops I mean Lionel.

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000