Am I the only one this pathetic?

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Answers

Not in the slightest! I've had a crush on a girl for a long time now - and the horrible thing is that from the very first time we met she made quite clear that she didn't want ANY romantic relationships at all!

But still, I dream... and write haiku about her... and think of ways to spend more time with her...

And what really sucks is that every time I get a chance to say something to her I do something stupid :(

se on eldmdni, mutta mind olen hullu hdnestd.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I don't know how stupid it was, but it was a crush. We lived in defferent cities so we emailed regularly. We got into a disagreement and all of a sudden she stopped emailing. I waited a week or two then whipped off an email telling her that she was an idiot for getting upset. Turns out her dad died...oh well.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I had a year long crush on a girl named April Neuman in the 6th grade. I carved her a Peace sign out of balsa wood and gave it to her brother. She stuck it on top of a lamp in her room and told her brother to tell me it was nice.

And we lived happily ever after...

...not!

(hell, I never could put two words together to ever say anything to her)

April Neuman, wherever you are--I'M OVER YOU NOW!

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Oh, of course! I have a major crush on a girl in two of my law classes... She's petite, slender, nice legs, very short blue-black dyed hair, very gothy little black outfits, way cool first name... Have I ever spoken to her? Of course not! I always feel that even speaking to an attractive girl is an imposition and an annoyance, and I'm not looking to either anger/offend her or be publicly humiliated myself. Having convinced myself that no girl would ever find me attractive (too old, no money, no looks, no social graces, too lumpy and awkward, no social status), I just sit and smile lopsidedly and try not to be noticed. The last girl I had a crush on-- I never spoke to her at all, but I did tell friends that I thought she was majorly hot and someone it got back to her and she actually complained to Grown Ups about me... It's better to risk nothing at all...

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

... well if I admited I had a crush on you Jen, would that make ME pathetic? It's not only the intelligence, but those DAMN glasses of yours that do it to me everytime.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I try to work it off by having lots and lots of little crushes--whenever I meet somebody who would, in other circumstances, be an interesting partner, I let the fantasies run with it for a while, then let it kind of die off before anything goes too far. This keeps my wife from having to kill anybody or break my legs.

But, as a wise man once said, last time I checked, I wasn't blind, gay, or dead.

And yes, Jen's on the list. So are several other journallers out there... tee hee.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Of late I haven't. I tend towards serial monagomy, so it's good that I finally found a girl who's interested in me. In the past, I've fixated my attentions on girls for months or even years. Although, the really long term crushes were limited to early on in college, and throughout high school. I think that I can attribute that to the fact that I never really did anything aside from admiring from afar, and imagining things I would say but not saying them. Later on, I would actually interact with the subjects of my crushes, and it's hard to stay interested.... the real thing usually isn't as nice as the imagined.

There was this one girl who I got totally crushed out on. I actually tried to figure out her schedule so that I could wait around where I knew she would be. At first, we'd sit and talk a lot, and it seemed as though she might even be interested. But we'd talk less and less, and then she'd have reasons why she had to go right away, and I think that I actually started to creep her out, because her roommate started meeting her after class, and they'd walk off quickly together.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

No, you're definitely not the only one. That diagram you made last year? If you licensed it to a card/poster company, you could retire on the royalties.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I'm completely in love with a girl that works in my office. The problem? She's got a boyfriend, I'm married, 'nuff said. I wish things were different, but that's just the way it is. At least we're friends.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Crushes are not pathetic at all... I have lots of them... I have gotten better about not having quite so many of them since I have gotten older... I also now refer to them by there real names instead of cute Pike boy, or law student guy... that causes problems if I actually ever get the chance to date them.

I sometimes think that having an interest and something to look forward to is even better than actually having a boyfriend.

I still try and find crushes on the internet I had in high school, just to see if I can find out what they are up too.

All in good fun. no stalking tendencies here ;)

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Any? Try asking how many. It's sad, especially when things get messed up in translation, but it's also totally normal. If a guy strikes your fancy, there's no reason for you to quash that emotion.

Just don't take my tack, which is to completely hide any feeling for the person at all and then stare longingly at them from across the room when they're not looking at you.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Oh, yes, plenty of stupid crushes. No, you're by no means alone in this. There was that girl in high school, for instance. Though she was nothing compared to the woman in grad school who would pretty much short circuit my brain whenever I saw her. (I remember walking around a corner once and walking into her - figuratively speaking. It felt like someone had applied an electric charge at the base of my neck.)

I had another crush several years ago which was not especially stupid, at first, but which lasted for a very, very long time (talking years, here), and which was at times pure agony, since we were part of the same social group. (We did, in fact, date briefly, and it didn't work out. Not that this helped in a slightest as far as my crush went. We did become friends, which also did not help alleviate the crush, but which was rewarding in entirely different ways.)

No stupid crushes these days, which I suppose is a good thing. Just the usual assortment of "Gosh, that woman sure is darned attractive" reactions to various women I see. None of whom I actually know personally. (I should perhaps point out that learning that someone is already attached is a very effective cure for any crush I might have on them.)

mhr ************************************************

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I have a crush on a guy I've never met, never even said two words to. Well, *maybe* two, but no more than that. Well, there was one time. He was in my school parking lot, and he was staring at me through a pair of binoculars! What did I do? Did I make a moue (mue? meiu? moo?) and bat my eyelashes? NO! It thought, Omigod, that is too weird for me. What a freak! And I flicked him off as I drove away. And then, I felt so bad about it I called him up and apologized!...And that's the most interaction I've ever had with him. In my class of 85 people, I've never had a class with him or had any convenient excuse to be near him, and his friends are completely repulsive (aren't they always? Of course, he's not like them; he's different!). But I can watch from afar...right now I'm trying to get up the nerve to ask him to Prom...
So, uh, no, I think I've outdistanced any prospective pathetic-ness you might have had, Jen. By miles.

P.S. Moon Im, if you read this, call me up and say you love me, too!

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I have a little crush on someone (she works at the bank)... and I'm going to ask her out to dinner today. Wish me luck!

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

Well I try to keep my mind a crush free zone these days - it's been a crush free zone for about 7 years & I do hope to keep it that way.

The reason - I once had a mega crush on my then best friend (a girl) I was sharing a house with - for 2 years we had everything but a sexual relationship - down to going out regularly to art galleries, shops, films, parties etc (& she'd do most of the asking out), calling each other endearing things - sweetie etc, she started it! - plus long conversation after long conversation - anyway when it came to anything sexual she was not interested ! & it's down to sex right... or the lack of it more like - & I fancied her of-course - it kind of developed over all these dates!

Having realised in my mind if not in my emotions that nothing sexual was ever going to happen - I then realised it was not so easy to get these sexual feelings for her specifically out of my head - I thought I was never going to get her out of my being - she seemed to exist in my mind independantly of my free will -

That's a crush right! - it definitely is if the feeling is not recipricated anyway (it might be called sexual love when it is?) - It got finally to being on the edge of getting pschiatric help or some form of counselling... I would never have believed such a condition could have existed in me till it did...

Well all in all I don't recommend developing & extending a crush.

Finally the cure came some two years later in the form of simply going out - sexually this time - with someone else & staying over at the new girl-friends place - a fairly immediate cure I seem to remember & I kind of fanicied the new girl friend as well but with less passion!

I am now free & single again - & have learn't to value my own independance & company much more - nevertheless I am still vunerable to crush syndrome & like Jen (& much of the population) I'm gently patiently looking for a new partner.

Myself, if ever I now get to start paying real undue mental attention to someone that's not recipricating pretty rapidly - I accept quickly this is going no where & consciously forget it - or if forgetting it is not working in desperation I divert my emotions away by deliberately focusing attention on someone else (who I must by definition find less attractive !) -

Anything that is to keep my mind & emotions happily co-existing together - think of the two as two parts of the brain - (they are much more than two of-course) - if your get emotionally involved where your involvement will in reality not be rewarded you are in for quite a mind bashing period - as mind & emotions try to sort the reality/wishful-thinking conflict out - mentally painful stuff I fear !

Anyway - got to go - I hope this helps any crush trapped souls out there break free :)

Love Vince.

Ps. Jen - thanx for the diary -

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

I'm three years older than you are Jennifer, but I can definitely say that you are not alone.

I've had a crush on an actor for several years. And I currently have a crush on somebody over the Internet. Don't ask me how I could possibly be obsessed over somebody I've never seen nor spoken to out loud. I just do. Having these obsessions may not be such a bad thing in my case, though. I've have lousy relationships with men over the past few years and having these crushes makes things emotionally safe for me. Besides, daydreams about them can really spice up your day.

Lady V

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

Yep, I get 'em. Most recently on a co-worker. We would hang out, go to movies and ballgames, eat together, talk shop. I really, really thought she was interested...kept hanging out with me. I hoped, I fantasized, but nothing would progress. Finally, I just decided I had to talk...if it were going to happen, I wanted to get it going, if not, I wanted to get it over with. I find a woman saying she's not at all attracted to me to be an excellent cure for a crush. Try it sometime.

Now--nothing. I think crushes develop out of our natural need for hope. Combine that with someone cool, and you've got a fixation about your future. But it gets better in a hurry. I'm now friends with said woman again, and not (overly) fixated.

Bring on the next crush--this one may pan out.

Paul

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

Hopefully there is a lovely android in my future.

-- Anonymous, March 25, 2000

I am the really good female friend who you thought was interested! I'm the one who innocently told you she had just shaved her legs last night and they felt really smooth! I'm the one who told you she loved your webpage and laughed out loud every time she visited it! I'm the one who smiled at you when you stared at her like an idiot in class! MWA-HA HA HA! The power! The ultimate power!


-- Anonymous, March 25, 2000

I once had a crush on a girl for 2 years. When I got up the nerve to tell her she shoot me down in about two seconds.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

One of my current crushes is a cashier at the grocery store near my apartment. I'll stand in line behind someone with a cart so full it takes two people to push it, forgoing any opportunities to join the Express Lane with my quart of milk and Lonely Man dinner, just so I can have the chance to make small talk with her--just to hear her voice and see her smile. (Unless, of course, I have something like deodorant or toilet paper in my basket. Then I'll go to the grey- haired cashier wearing the 'I Love My Grandkids' button.)

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

I feel like I've spent years mooning after guys that didn't look at me twice (at least, not in "that" way!). This last time it was an electrical engineer named Kurt at my job. He had it all: nice, my age, good looking, funny, modest and a real people-person. I'd find reasons to pass by his office or talk to him in the cafeteria. My first inkling that he had a girlfriend was seeing his car decorated with pink and white streamers and giant "I Love You" balloons on Valentine's Day. My heart dropped into my shoes! Oh well, maybe we could be friends. Then I got my big chance! A group of us from work were going whitewater rafting and I caught a ride with him! Four hours total of alone time with him on the drive! Thank god, his girlfriend couldn't make it. Well, turns out we had next to nothing to talk about and he didn't seem as friendly after 4 hours of awkward conversation, mostly about his gorgeous, atheletic girlfriend. Why do I have to find out these things the hard way? The moral: Sometimes a crush is perfect just as it is! Too much reality can ruin a good fantasy.

-- Anonymous, March 27, 2000

A long time ago, an incredibly beautiful, funny, whip-smart girl told me that she had had a crush on me for years. She was, in my opinion, the most desirable girl on the planet, but I had always respectfully admired her from afar since she had a seemingly very steady boyfriend. She asked if I had ever had a crush. (Note to you other clueless boys out there: This is your chance to say, "Oh my god yes, I've had a crush on *you* for years too.")

Once she asked her question I immediately went into full-on idiot mode. I paused and thought for a moment, and replied, "Hmm, let's see, what's the definition of a crush?" coolly focusing on the irrelevant little fact that a crush is supposed to be unrequited, so it's not logically possible for a mutual crush to exist.

So we went our separate ways for another year. Duh.

I later turned out to have some wonderful times with her, along with some less wonderful times so that we're no longer together. I don't know how our story ends, but communication gaps like this are one of our chronic problems.

I still have a crush on her.

http://www.serv.net/~gentry

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2000

yeah i'v had billions of crushs and still have as i'm only 12.

http://wade.77th.com

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

Who don't I have a crush on it the question. Whether it is a crush or a ...i want what i can't have... i don't know. But if you daydream, have fantasies, go to sleep thinking about them, long for the next day so you can see them, and then when he's standing right in front of you, pretend you don't see him so he say's hello first so you don't look like you have any type of crush (why would he when your only friends anyway?!!?) LOL i think there is a problem. At least it kills some time though, thinking about them hehe. I seem to try to act the total opposite way around him then I feel, I act soo differently around him, it's strange, but exciting all at the same time. Will I ever tell him....no. Will he ever find out, hopefully no but deep down probably yes. When I ask myself, do I really want to go out with him, I find my answer to be no, maybe only because i am scared that my fantasy will be crushed and that once I have him, I may find that I really don't want him. Don't think I am afraid or stupid for not telling him, because I am not that experienced in the love department and need someone to sweep me off my feet before I know how to act. Make any sense, probably not. Why is life so cruel? I'm being totally dramatic here... Why not lol got nothing better to do. why do guys that well, repulse me, have crushes on me and write me love letters? Life sux. But I think it's exciting to think that I have a crush on someone who may also have a crush on me. So we are like having a virtual reality relationship and we don't even know about it. Why would I want anything else? A very long shot I know, but it satisfies me for the time being. Who knows who might be thinking about you this very second. Perhaps more people then we may think or perhaps none. Either way, is it better to know or not to know? Email me back...tell me what you think...

-- Anonymous, November 10, 2000

Why would you call a crush stupid?I have a crush on a girl. Shes really nice and all. I have can't ask her out but I do talk to her alot. Were friends of cource. It makes me go mad when I don't ask her out. We alos share alot of eye contact she usaly smiles when are eys meet. I wrote her a poem and gave it to her yesterday. She said she would read it later. I wonder what she will think. In the poem I explaned how much I liked her.

-- Anonymous, January 13, 2001

Of course i have a crush on someone, the world wouldnt go round and round if i didnt. his name is Pat Glyn,, and this friday his new girlfriend, Suzette Carlson, went to his house, as i was saying good bye, she pushed me out of the way and said "is ur bus here yet, pat?" i got so mad when they started hugging. what i dont understand is how can he not see what a bitch she is?!?!?!?! Pat and i have gotten so much closer, and i think im in love with him. I try my hardest to spend more time with. In spanish we AAALWAYS talk, and i feel like im in heaven when we do. One day the teachers was getting really pissed and she said, "hey u 2 lovebirds be QUIET" pat and i started snikering and now everyone called us the lovebirds.....if only it were true... when i got home on friday i started pigging out and crying my eyes out listening to a song by BBMAK, that talked about exatly how i feel. Then i realized...what if they break up?... we're still furrends (friends) its not like he died or something... i still have him to joke around with him and stuff...its not the end of the world... all i wanna say is that ur free to love ANYONE YOU WANT TO!!! its ur choices, even if they're ass ugly, it doesnt matter (PAT IS THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE WORLD!! YEA PAIGE HAHA)

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2001

You put that crush into really good words. Just because if you ask and they no it doesn't mean you can't be friends. Friends come first even over family in some cases. I hope you and Pat stay good friends.

-- Anonymous, January 21, 2001

I think almost everyone has crushes. I am the type of person that have crushes on someone for the longest time, but never ask them out. Honestly, I think you should always let them know. Maybe they feel the same way!! :)

-- Anonymous, February 11, 2001

you guys ARE OATHETIC

-- Anonymous, May 07, 2001

Crush? well i've got one at the moment on a girl called vicki whos in my school, i realy like her but..... SHE HATES ME! you see about a month ago i asked her out and she said no. this made me fill like shit and still do's now, i just can't get over her.

It makes me depressed.... but im in love with her.

Tough shit i suppose!

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

I have a crush on my dentist. I want him soooooo bad! I have seen him for the last couple months because I am having veneers put on. It takes awhile. Anyway, this Friday will be the last visit. We are both married and we joke about alot of things, like married life, etc. I feel like he wants me too, but I am not totally sure. Should I tell him I think about him in my Nightime Fantasies? Really I have been thinking about him alot more than just at night.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

yeah, well, nearing the quarter century mark, I just realized I havent had as many crushes as I should have.

They are the most awful and most beautiful thing at the same time. I'm currently going through one right now, and it is wayyy more vivid than previous ones. lucky for me, I have the guts(kinda) to talk to her about anything. Be honest, be fast about it, and be on, if it isnt going to turn into anything.

too bad I wont listen to my own advice. but we're all still young yet, no matter how old we are.

-- Anonymous, October 05, 2001

i had a crush on a girl in my 4th grade class. my most vivid memory of her was when she read aloud a poem that she had written, entitled "the sky". she was so eloquent and poised and that hooked me for life. she seemed like a goddess to me. she was extremely smart, liked by everyone, and she didn't possess that "too girly-girl"-ness, with which our female peers were experimenting. she was a tomboy. it was a beautiful balance of inner strength and charisma. she just was the girl of my dreams. we'll never meet again, even though i know that she still lives in our state. our paths have indirectly crossed when i ran into her then, best friend. they were still in touch, after 20-something years. her best friend turned out really cool. if it's any reflection of her childhood mate, then i'm glad that i'll never see her again. i don't know what i'd do with myself!

wherever you are, kathy, you'll always gonna be in my thoughts.

xoxo.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002

I've had a crush on this girl since the 5th grade, 4 years ago. I think I've let myself become obsessed with her. I can't stop thinking of her. I don't even know her, not really. I used to know her in like, maybe 4th and 5th grade or something, and then I had a class with her in 7th- but that's it. The most I could manage last year (9th grade, just got on Summber break) was to say hi and her name ONCE, as we were walking by. That's how nervous she makes me. I want to know her more than anything. I'm always forumulating these plans to get to know her again. My most recent one is at a dance next Saturday. Wish me luck!

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2002

Ive had a crush on this girl since the 5th grade...I never used to talk to her at all..just gaze at her beauty. Now, we talk..where good friends..we do things together, she made it seem that she liked me..maybe loved me..i dont know...as i was walking up to her i over heard her and my friend talking about going out sometime..i was mortally wounded..so jen..your not the only pathetic one..we all have our tales of woe,and who knows..maybe shell get over him one day.and ill have a chance..who knows..

-- Anonymous, August 06, 2002

I work as a high school teacher. Well no I don't like any of my students, but a college counselor on temporary stay (4 weeks or so). Anyhow I found out her last day was last thursday (according to my students). Boy was she good lookin'. Brunette, skinny, dressed real nice, beatiful face/body, radiant smile, dressed well... I decided to give a box of truffles to her via messenger with my biz card attached to it. She was surprised and happy according to my students, and came to my classroom the next day to thank me. Being a shy person, I could hardly carry a conversation with her due to my nervousness and being place on the spot in front of my students. She was very cordial and thanked me for the box of chocolates. I simply said "You're welcome." then she walked back to her office, and my students started giggling. Anyhow, her friend asked me to go out with the counselor that I like, along with her counselor friends. I didn't want to be subject material for the weekend so I politely declined (Due to the fact that my crush felt awkward about the idea of hanging out with me that weekend). To make things worse, I wrote a card addresed to her but never gave it to her. It's still in my desk. I even went as far as giving her and 3 of her friends a mix cd that I made with my email and number. They must think I'm silly at this point. Anyhow I saw her today, and her another counselor friend of hers saw me. She gave out a chuckle (I wonder if she thinks I'm sillly or if she liked my cd), and I ignored her too. But my crush was back in her office that day, but never said hello to me or even attempted to look in my direction. Well that's way of being humiliated, I guess. I blew my chance. And I'm going to stop giving her things. If she wants to talk, then cool. Otherwise I'll leave it as it is. At least I made another soul feel special. So fellas, the next time a girl responds to your move, ask her for her phone number right away; and her first name. And yes crushes do make life interesting, but a living hell as well. Crush the crushes!!!

-- Anonymous, October 09, 2002

I have a crush on a guy who sometimes takes the same bus as I do. We have never spoken to each other, although I frequently noticed him looking at me. I never really noticed him for the longest time, and then one day - bam! - I was attracted to him and started to notice him looking at me even more. He even smiled at me once, but I was caught off guard and I just looked at him without any expression on my face. It took me about 4 or 5 weeks to look at him and give him a quasi-smile and even then I'm not sure if he even saw it. I feel nervous around him now but it's an exciting feeling. Crushes are a normal and natural part of life and make it more exciting. Will he and I ever actually speak to each other? Who knows....but the way he is in my mind's eye is probably better than the real deal. I will admire from afar and enjoy the crush while it lasts.

-- Anonymous, October 10, 2002

I have a crush on this guy, his name is daniel. He younger than me & hes a freshman, but i really don't care, and people thinks its weird that I like a guy younger than me, and Im 15 and hes 14 or 15.. Im like ok whats the difference. But we never talk, and if we ever do talk, its like for only asking a question or just saying hi. He knows I like him, because 2 of my friends that know him told me, and then I myself wrote him a letter saying I liked him. But he hasn't done anything about it, and my friend tiffany (one of the girls that know him well) is trying her hardest to get him to talk and start liking me. She really wants us to date, and so do I. But Im just waiting on the answer to see if he really likes me or not, and if he just wants to be friends.

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2002