CATS!

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It's actually my wife's fault. I mean they're not bad cats, as cats go, but she has spoiled them into thinking they have to be fed every single day. But still, they're just cats, and they respect who's boss around here, so generally I have very little trouble out of them. Until now.

I've patiently explained it to them in detail. How the government regulates it, and how absolutely everybody goes along with it for the common good, and all that. But still the furry little dissidents refuse to set their clocks ahead for daylight savings time.

So this morning at what is now FIVE a.m., I get the breakfast serenade at my bedroom window.

Now, I've already explained how my wife is the root of this particular evil, so I naturally assumed she would take responsibility for it, but she had the covers pulled up to her chin, and was doing a very convincing job of faking sleep. So, I yawned and stretched and accidently poked her in the ribs a couple of times. It's amazing how she could keep her breathing pattern so steady, and yet mention how I had always said I wanted to die at home in my own bed, and how very close I was to the realization of that particular wish at this paticular time.

So, since she put her argument so reasonably, I figgured I would just go ahead and let the little beggers in, but I wouldn't have to feed 'em. By the time they realized the change in the game plan, I could be back asleep, and maybe the missus would get up. I mean, she couldn't sleep all day, could she?

Now, it was a fine plan, but what I didn't take into consideration was the fact that we have wooden floors. So, it was thump. thump thump, look at the food bowl, thump, thump thump, look at me in bed, thump thump thump, look at the food bowl......over and over again.

Well, by this time, I think you can see that I had them right where I wanted 'em. All I had to do was fix a little breakfast for them, and they would shut right up and let me get back to sleep. As they chowed down on kitty food, I at last savored the sweet taste of victory.

Of course, I was now fully awake, and my wife had let my side of the bed get cold, but it didn't matter. The sheer luxury of crawling back under the covers is the prerogitive of the master of the house; a never-to-be-missed chance to make a statement that the king has returned. The cats wanted out.

Thump thump thump, look at the door, thump thump thump, look at me in bed, thump thump thump.........The cats looked at me in bed. I looked at my wife in bed. My wife looked at me in bed. My wife snarled ever so slightly. I let the cats out.

But I'm not done with the little furballs yet, oh no! They picked on the wrong guy, this time, I'll tell you. Just you wait. This evening I'm going to fix them New York strips instead of their ususal rib-eyes. That'll show 'em who's boss around here!

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 07, 2000

Answers

It's actually my daughter's fault. SHE moved here with the cat...the cat that sits outside the computer-room window every morning waiting for the light to come on. This is NOT my cat. If I didn't buy it or bear it, I feel NO responsibility to buy it food. Well, last night my daughter didn't feel the responsibility to buy it food either, so this morning there was none.

Meow! "There IS no food." Meow!! "There IS no food." Meow!!! "There is no *#^&$^# food!"

Later in the morning, my daughter bought cat food. Where's the cat?

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), April 07, 2000.


Anita, you have obviously not yet learned that humans have only a few good purposes according to cats: 1)food, 2)warm lap, 3)food, 4)door opener 5)food.

Lon appears to be catching on, but you must still need obedience traing ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 07, 2000.


Lon, your cats are defective. Mine have always slept an extra hour after the change to DST. It's fall that I dread.

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), April 08, 2000.

Brooks,

Defective cats? Moi? Never! They still work just fine for sleeping in the sun, sleeping in the garden, sleeping on the couch, sleeping on the roof of the car, and all the other important functions they perform around here.

Besides their furry little fatnesses still want breakfast at the same (actual) time of morning. And what used to be six, is now five, right? Because we set the clocks AHEAD one hour. Anyway, I think so. Maybe. I hope. :

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 08, 2000.


For all the annoyances my kitty gave me...she is pretty awfully sick tonight, and I sat and held her this past hour, and told her all the reasons she needed to get better. We all take her for granted, she's been around so long, and we forget sometimes to give her the attention she might like.

She scratches at the door to go out, and claws at the screen to come in, yes, but she has never needed a litter box. I love when I'm driving to work, and half way there, I discover she is sleeping in the backseat of my car. We once drove to 7-11 late at night, and when we got there..someone came rushing out and said "there's a cat on your roof!"...(I assume she used up one of nine lives in that fiasco..since it was a mile drive.)

She climbs trees like some wild ancester..then spends twenty minutes trying to figure out how to get back down. She is the only one who knows the secret to getting out of the fenced backyard. She has to suffer the indignity of two dogs sniffing her butt when she comes back in the house, but she doesn't mind when they curl up with her to sleep.

She once played with a "Crunchberry" for close to an hour, stopping only when it rolled under the piano. She has made off with chicken nuggets, raw bacon, a broccoli, and tried to drag off a loaf of bread once. There is payback..she once caught a bird, and presented it to me.

This classic cat..must be on top of the newspaper or crossword puzzle or library book while I read, or on the computer keyboard when I chat, or laying between myself and the canvas while I paint. She's had mysterious purple paws (which was finally traced back to my daughter inking her feet to "fingerprint" her)

There are so many "The Kitty" stories in this house,..my favorite is once we all got horrible stomach virus,..everyone in the house was throwing up, including the cat. Whenever the cat threw up, as sick as we all were, we laughed, because we were not alone in our misery.

Tonight, this 13 yr old symetrical tabby...she can hardly even lift her head. I had her to the vet yesterday, and they gave me some pills for her. Today she was even worse. I just want her to make it through the night, so I can bring her back tomorrow..because she's my cat,..I love her. There has always been "the kitty". How can such a silent creature make such a deep impression?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), April 09, 2000.



((((Kritter))))

I sure hope The Kitty gets better, too!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 09, 2000.


ok ok OK!

I woke up at 2 this morning, and realized that Brooks is right. That dumb story about my cats doesn't work untill Fall. But I swear they are waking me up earlier. Maybe they're just messing with my mind. I have noticed a lot of whispering and giggling between them and Katy-the-corgi, lately. And they all get real quiet whenever I walk into the room. This whole thing is beginning to smell like yesterday's litterbox.

And Kritter, I do hope you will tell us your cat is well now.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 12, 2000.


Kitty is well (after a whopping $480 stay at the local Vet Hospital Hilton) and she is resting comfortably on top of the wood pile outside. (and blending in nicely) She had "renal disfunction", and they pumped her full of 50cc's of something, and gave me some pills to give her each day. (getting her to take one is akin to walking on water, but I digress) She just requires some special care now, but otherwise, her prognosis is good for the next few years.

I expected her to grovel at my feet with thanks, but when we arrived home, she merely blinked at me in mock annoyance and gave the dogs the finger. Yup, she's doing good :-)

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), April 12, 2000.


LOL Kritter

Thanks, I needed that this morning, I really did. I'm already an hour late to leave, and it is POURING! Maybe 3 inches in the last hour, with lightening and wind. I'm not going to get the motorhome out on the Interstate in th

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 12, 2000.


Kritter, I'm so glad that Kitty is better! I hope you'll have many more years of her making your life "interesting" :-)

Lon, that rain is washing away the ends of your responses - or maybe it's the gremlins. Ashton and Leska usually feed them, but they haven't been posting here a whole lot, so the gremlins might be hungry enough to attack someone elses posts. Asterisks, lines or any extra characters at the end seem able to satisfy gremlin appetites...

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 12, 2000.



Kritter, I forgot to mention : OG gave a great post on feeding pills to cats on the old forum, FRL #10

http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001ZPa

Rob starts the thread with washing Murphy and OG's pill answer is about a quarter of the way down :-)

Warning - this thread is ROTFLTIP and may require Depends.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 12, 2000.


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