Holiday Breaks

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I intend to rant on about holiday breaks shortly

Major D Sarster ( Retired)

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2000

Answers

Er, Yeh, what ?

Whoa, I'm back.

Sorry about the thrombosis in my dribbling of late but I've been slightly involved with Simon and Rangeetas wedding and trying to get my head around Mac OS9. Its weird, I'm having trouble reading this screen but I have been working off a 10 inch laptop with weeny writing for 3 years. The wedding was ultra informal. After the legal niceties we repaired to Pizza express for the 'Reception' which was held in the 'Pitt Room' ( Apparently, Pitt the Younger draughted the first income tax legislation in that very space ). Then we all took an opentopped bus trip around Cambridge. The sun shone all day and a good time was enjoyed by all. As I gazed down on the thronging crowds in Cambridge I was concious of the number of people who were obviously enjoying a holiday 'Break'. They usually hold hands and wander aimlessly between 'Heritage' sites ( Wow , look, another suit of armour dear ! ). No doubt back at their accommodation they have the ubiquitous fluffy towels, the cheapest TV money can buy, tea and coffee making 'facilities' and an en-suite bog with a shower with pathetic water pressure. Also it is usually impossible to set the temperature other than at either freezing or boiling point. Me, I don't need that stuff. I'm HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY. I'm HAPPY to go to work, HAPPY to go on the work, HAPPY to go to the meeting. Yes, I'm HAPPEEEEEEE !

HOWEVER, the upcoming wedding anniversary shenanigans in the Durose household looks interesting. So, JillyD ( whats my email) spill the beans on the old tub. No of cabins, masts, gross tonnage, draught, max speed etc. Whold captain gary be interested in a cottage/boat swap do you think ?

Major D Sarster ( Retired)

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000


SallyB is entirely incorrect in her description of the holiday break. What she describes are BANK holidays or as our American cousins would say, National holidays ( GWs Birthday for example). The 'Holiday break' in the UK is invariably a long weekend at some awful 'Heritage venue'. Hotels advertise free holiday breaks but you must eat at the hotel to qualify. Of course, the price for the dinner is equal to what you would have paid anyway. ( Its a bit like being with Freeserve or Screaming.net really ). Usually, there will be a local town with loads of old black and white buildings which are either cafe's , bookshops or gift shops. The gift shop is my personal favourite full as it is with pincushions, Peter Rabbit, Dutch boys that wee sherry or whatever you want to fill them with, salt sellars and ash trays with 'A present from Dweebtown' embossed on every surface. The owner is usually a fawning, Waltons granny type who appears to be really concerned about wether or not you are enjoying yourselves and will you be visiting the Windmill tomorrow ? I have a theory that these people are ALIENS because thay all look and act the same. Rip off that facade and you will find an ugly, blubbering, ruthless lifeform intent on getting you to hand over your hard earned cash for some worthless junk which will give you endless trouble all the time you own it. Woops ! I was thinking about Windows 95 there ! Still, you get the point. No, the holiday break is not for me, and I am sure I speak for my lady wife also. But what do you think ?

Major D Sarster.

-- Anonymous, April 15, 2000


Like whats happening man,

I've been away on a Holiday break ! Yes true to my Hyppocratic oath I've been away on a Holiday Break. As many of you are aware I own ( in partnership with the Halifax Building Society. For our American audience - a "savings and loan" - See James Stewart in 'Its a Wonderful life'.) a modest one bedroomed cottage in Ford in Gloucestershire. and I have never been there on Holiday so the present Mrs Johnson and I decided to see what it was like. We were there four days and it rained steadily for three of them. We were also suffering from colds and we had bad bellies from something ate at the "Plough" next door. However on Sunday it stopped raining and we headed for Bourton on the Water. This town is without doubt second only to Blackpool in naffness. It must have at least 50 gift shops ( There is one that ONLY does Peter Rabbit !!!) flogging the usual trash teddy bears, Kendal mint cake, thimbles, grotesque pottery and rude figures. And guess what ? I couldn't find a gift there for Simon and Rangers ! Yesterday we took a walk to the nearby village of Temple Guiting which possesses many fine buildings many dating back to 15th century. How sad to see those fools Vordman and Handy Andy cavorting around with their electric screwdrivers and MDF when compared to the fine architecture and skilled craftsmanship of our ancestors. It makes me ashamed to own a Black and Decker. But what do you think ? Does the gift shop have a place in society ? Does Handy Andy deserve my criticism ?

Major D Sarster.

-- Anonymous, April 25, 2000


Please define for the American audience what holiday break means.

Maz

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2000


.....and please cut the tongue when you do so!

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2000


holiday breaks are national holidays, to us that is Easter Monday, May Day and so on, to you I think that might be Washingtons birthday if I remember correctly from countless viewings of "Holiday Inn"

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

One of my favorite HOLIDAY movies!

So...you are NOT talking about vacations for weeks at a time. Okay...just want to get it straight.

Oh YES...I love holidays. Great days to shop-till-ya-drop. To me...we just don't have enough of them.

Here in the States...there are so many Jewish and Catholic holidays...I'm even thinking of changing my religion for the day!

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000


Me and Ranjers don't have a job so we can't have any holidays. Maybe having a job would be a holiday?

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2000

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