Anyone else watch this on Sky1 last night? They featured the Geordies and I found it insulting and amusing in equal measure.

They had us down as not being English, but rather a separate city-state called Geordieland. Correct. They pointed out what an amazing place it is to go out on the town and harked on about us all being underdressed and just like Sid the Sexist.

They said that we had different Gods and then switched from a view of the Angel of the North to Shearer fluffing chances against Sotton before saying, "Unfortunately, Newcastle United aren't very good" which was a bit of a cheek considering they were selectively using footage from a game we cantered through at 5-0.

They went on and on about trying to look hard by not wearing coats etc, and had a brilliant running gag with a sound byte from Jimmy Five Bellies saying that lager is a poof's drink. Everytime any Geordies could be seen drinking Budweiser or whatever, a little caption came up with arrows to the culprits saying 'Poofs!'

Apart from the lassies gerring them oot for the lads, the highlight was cutting to the couch potato family for their opinion on us, and this 16 stone horror with a face like a blind cobbler's thumb reckoned that 'Geordies all look alike because they're all inbred'. A bit rich coming from someone who only managed to breed because she found someone too lazy to get out of his chair to find someone more worth poking. Still, a pretty amusing programme and a million times less painful than that night out with the Mackem lasses that they showed.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

Answers

I watched some of it with horror and other bit with great humour. I was morally offended by the bit where they said about us not being any good. But I did however take into account the fact that the programme had been made some months ago. The bit about lager and five bellies cracked me up as he said he preferred snakebite and the whole of the population were thinking but snakebite is made from cider and lager! Not our bright is he?

What made me laugh was the boy racers section. It was set in Beverley were I used to live and I can testify that everything they said about men here is true. And they all drive like loonies too !

;o)

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

Geordie tribe was briliant, I'd been really looking forward to seeing it all week and wasn't disapointed. It wasn't at all insulting to Geordies as we have the ability to laugh at ourselves. The people that they set up to appear in the show did us proud, portraying us just like we are. And if you believe that you must be a couch potato.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

If you watched it for what it was......a comedy programme....then it was actually quite funny. I rolled around during the main 'Geordie' bit......but if you watched it under the impression that it was social culture, it was very offensive.

People 'down here' DO think that ALL Geordies are as thick and pig sh*t who ALL go round in short sleeved T.Shirts even in the middle of winter with their fag packet stuck into the shoulder.......why spoil that illusion for the sake of a TV programme on a sh*t station!

You can bet your bottom dollar that whoever did the voice over has probably never been near the place. They will have seen the rushes, written a script to fit the pictures, and then recorded the programm in studio somewhere in Isleworth, West London.

Wow, socio ambassadors for the North East, Gazza, Jimmy Five Bellies, a t*sser in a kilt and two birds in the Bigg Market KFC who get their t*ts out cos there is a camera handy........I think the majority of people, even from outside the area will see it for what it is......a comedy................OR something put together by a Makem.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

I found when I was down South London not included that the vast majority of people all said the same thing. Those who had ventured 'up North' found the people to be warm and friendly which is what we are.

I lost count of the number of times that people would stop and ask me to talk to them just so they could listen to the accent. It still happens to me in Yorks even though I am only 120 miles away.

Its a great conversation starter. No matter how they try to portray us I will always be proud to be a geordie, even though I have no wish to return to the NE apart from short visits and the likes. ;o) I always get a lump in my throat when I see the Newcastle Bridge even on the telly.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

Jay, you'd have enjoyed being in our carriage on the way to Wembley. The Chelsea fans in one end started singing "Ingerlund" (ironic really) so the 30 or so Geordies looked at each other and launched into a spirited round of "Geordieland!" to the same tune. They really didn't know what to say after that. Marvellous!

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

Jay,

I get the same lump in my throat when I see the bridge (and even the Angel these days!).....

I think I could possibly live in Newcastle.....there's now way that I could live back in Washington though!.....it's just too small....

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

I don't like the Angle it looks like an upside down airplane :o)

Much perfer the bridge and SJP of course.

I also like the ferries on the Tyne I used to use to get from South Shields to North Shields awww now I am all homesick.

Never mind back up on Sunday fingers crossed

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

Jay - "Upside Down Aeroplane"? You'd prefer it looked like it was crashing into the ground??? :o))

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

what's all this about a 'city state' - don't think Ashington, Blyth, Morpeth etc are within this City State but I'd say most definitely Geordie - pity I missed it sounded a right hoot.

as far as going back is concerned, if I did then that would it as far as moving about is concerned. Not sure where I'd go if I moved back, but one thing is certain, there's a long heritage of Geordies moving away for work, and until I could be certain of a decent salary up there I shall remain one of that breed of ex-pats....

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

If your a rich lottery winner like wot I am, It's great living in the Republic of Newcastle. The airs clean, the lasses are lovely, the roads are reltively uncongested, everyone gets on with everyone else, there's little crime, You can leave your door open for your neighbours to come in and out at will. Theres parties everynight, the beers cheap, the lads and lasses are uninhibited. As long as your not poor. Life is just great. Why don't you all come back?

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

I didn't see the programme - sounds a bit of a mixture.

I agree with Gav aboot the Angel. When I see it on the way north, it signifies I'm nearly nome. Other way, it watches over my journey, bidding me a speedy return.

But I know what you mean aboot the Bridge, Jay. The whole area of the rejuvenated quayside shows the revitalisation of Newcastle.

And as for Rik's comments - watch this space, bonnie lad.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

Okay I will rephrase that comment I made about the Angel of the North, it looks like a light aircraft had crashed tail first into a flat peace of land and been left to go mouldy. Do you get the impression I do like the statue much?? ;o)

Its the Bridge and nothing else for me.

-- Anonymous, April 17, 2000

Despite having STY 1 on the ONdigital I hadly ever watch it - 90% of it is crap US programmes like "When Armchairs Attack" or "World's Worst Supermarket Trolleys".

I don't need to see comedy/social slice of life progs to know what Geordies are like. But most Geordies do like having a reputation for being hard, tough enough for 'owt, always looking for a good time and mad about their football.

Hope this lot do one on cock-the-knees, a region where the sound 'th' doesn't exist (always replaced with an 'f') and 'innit' is the standard closing remark to any sentance.

BTW - the Angel of the North is one of the most amazing and powerful pieces of modern scuplture ever. I could go on for ages about it. Tyne Bridge will also forever be a sign of Geordie-ness but the Angel is pure art.

-- Anonymous, April 18, 2000