When dealing with sexual sins (especially birth control), we often say that " that couples sins if. . . "; now, a couple is not a moral subject, a couple is incapable of sinning, only individuals, in this case the spouses, can sin. Even the Catechism is not clear about this.

Suppose a woman refuses to have sex with her husband without taking pills. If her husband refuses to have sex with her, he may be sinning against Justice (St. Thomas is very clear in this case, saying that it is of very grave sin to refuse to pay the marital debt), and jeopardizing his marriage; on the other hand, if he accepts this situation, he is sinning against the 6th commandment. Pretty dead-end situation, isn't it? And not a theoretical one, but a very practical one!

-- Atila (me@somewhere.com), May 05, 2000

Answers

(Atila) "Pretty dead-end situation, isn't it?"

No, my friend. This one is not difficult. The husband's refusal is in no way a sin against justice, but rather an example of living out the virtue of justice toward unborn babies.

Perhaps you have not heard that various contraceptives (pills, implants, injections) have been shown to act -- on a "backup-backup" basis -- by killing a new human being?

Yes, although most of these unnatural forms of birth control are primarily intended to prevent ovulation, nevertheless "breakthrough ovulation" sometimes occurs. Then, the first backup action of these drugs is to prevent fertilization by impeding seminal progress through the cervix -- but this too fails, in an estimated 2 to 10% of the cases when the wife is fertile. And so, the second backup action takes over -- making the uterine wall inhospitable to the implantation (nidation) of the week-old baby, who dies by leaving her mother's body nine months early. [It is believed that IUDs, though they do not involve drugs, nevertheless cause similar deaths of new babies (just-fertilized ova).]

No husband who is aware of these scientific facts may take an action (marital intercourse) that could result in a pregnancy that may be killed by his wife's abortifacient drug or device. He would be sinning against the fifth commandment, an even graver sin than one against the sixth commandment.

This raises another question, though. If a wife insists on using a NON-abortifacient form of contraceptive (e.g., a diaphragm), against the will of the husband, may they have intercourse and must the husband "perform his marriage duty" in justice? I believe that orthodox moral theologians do claim that such intercourse is licit and required of the husband, provided that he makes it clear to his wife that he disapproves of her action and gently continues to attempt to persuade her to change her mind. He could never, though, take any non-abortifacient contraceptive action of his own (e.g., use a condom or coitus interruptus), if requested to do so by his wife.

God bless you.
John

-- J. F. Gecik (jgecik@desc.dla.mil), May 05, 2000.

Also, St. Thomas Aquinas, while a very great (literally, too) saint and doctor the the Catholic Church, he was subject to error just as we all are, being frail humanity. To cite an example, he made some erroneous arguments about the immaculate conception of Mary, namely that she wasn't such. But, this is excusable since he was not part of the maturation of this tradition into Doctrine. My point being, that St. Thomas Aquinas is not the last word on these issue, but an important one... Remember, at one point he even said the Summa Theologiae was "so much straw".

(I think that it is important to note that this to mean that he was not drawing final conclusions to the whole mystery of creation--that is, that he contributed as best he could with the tools he had available at that particular time and place in history. Even so, who could claim to do a better job of what he did--laying foundations for a systematic understanding of the divine.)

-- Jess Walczak (jwwalczak@usa.net), June 19, 2001.

Who decided what mortal sin is? Is that judgement derived based on God's Ten Commandments? Who decides what venial sin is? Also, why do priest not give us different kinds of penance, instead of saying ten Hail Mary's or 3 Our Fathers? For instance, why not give us something meaningful to do like visit a nursing home for a week, or spend time in a hospital, or volunteer work of some kind...something where we are helping others and making a sacrifice. How does a priest decide how many Hail Mary's we should say for pennance?

In addition to the Hail Mary's I think we should be asked to "DO SOMETHING" to make up for our sins. Doesn't Jesus want our hands and not our words?

-- cathy colarusso (marlborocat@yahoo.com), April 14, 2002.

Cathy,

Here's some attempts at answers for your questions. You're comments are bold throughout.

"Who decided what mortal sin is?"

Here is a link describing the Biblical teaching of mortal sin.

As a point of reference, mortal sin is any voluntary action that is so contrary to the will of God that it causes the loss of our salvation if we do not repent of the sin. In the end, God will judge our lives and our love for Him.

"Who decides what venial sin is?"

A venial sin is any action that is contrary to the will of God; but that does not cause the loss of our salvation if we die before repenting of that sin.

Here is a link that contrasts mortal and venial sin.

"Is that judgement derived based on God's Ten Commandments?"

I would venture a guess that this passage is the answer to your question (Matthew 22:36-40):

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets."

The end of Matthew 25 combined with this passage should at least be a point of reference for answering this question.

"Also, why do priest not give us different kinds of penance, instead of saying ten Hail Mary's or 3 Our Fathers? For instance, why not give us something meaningful to do like visit a nursing home for a week, or spend time in a hospital, or volunteer work of some kind...something where we are helping others and making a sacrifice. How does a priest decide how many Hail Mary's we should say for pennance?

In addition to the Hail Mary's I think we should be asked to "DO SOMETHING" to make up for our sins. Doesn't Jesus want our hands and not our words?"

Great questions! I'd love to hear some comments from priests. First the easy stuff. The choice of penance is chosen by the priest. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (Par. 1434):

The interior penance of the Christian can be expressed in many and various ways. Scripture and the Fathers insist above all on three forms, fasting, prayer, and almsgiving, which express conversion in relation to oneself, to God, and to others.

So here's the answer to your last question. Don't view "our words" as something that Jesus does not want. Repentance includes fasting, prayer, and almsgiving. Prayer is important to Jesus! Not only does Jesus ask us to pray; Jesus' own example shows how central prayer was in His life.

The priests are responsible for the final decision of penance; but when I speak more openly with a priest about my spiritual state--as opposed to the "here's my laundry list of sins" form--I tend to get penances that involve charitable action relevant to the sin instead of just prayer. If they figure out that you've got a love for Jesus, they also walk away from "3 Hail Marys" and give me "3 rosaries" instead! :-) Obviously, the primary purpose of penance is mending our relationship with the Church and God, not punishment! And so, I look to the rosary (or whatever penance) as a wonderful healing experience.

Here's the Catechism's text on penance.

If you would like a penance that includes almsgiving (volunteering at a Nursing home, for example), discuss this with your priest. Though we can't tell the priest what penance he has to give us, we can talk with him about other forms of penance that we would be open to.

Something more reasonable...If you don't want to be pushy, then I'd recommend the following: resolve to complete the penance that the priest gave you. Then, make a personal commitment to God that you would commit yourself to a self-prescribed act of penance (fasting, prayer, and/or almsgiving) for the glory of God.

God bless you,

Mateo

-- (MattElFeo@netscape.net), April 15, 2002.

Actually, my penance has never been saying Hail Mary's or Our Father's. It's always pertained to what sin I committed. Perhaps I'd been angry at my husband and couldn't let it go. My priest would tell me to do something nice for him. Surprise him. Something unexpected. At first, I'd be like~now wait a minute! I'm mad at him. I can't do that. But I'd do it anyways, as this was my penance. And in making him happy, it made me feel love for him and thus, made me happy and took away my anger. :) Pretty smart, huh?

Also, I wouldn't wait for a penance to do the things you mentioned. They don't have to be a punishment. :) Just do them because you know that would make God happy. And in turn, it just may make you happy.

Good luck and God bless

-- Jackiea (sorry@dontlikespam.com), April 15, 2002.

McPennance?

-- jake (jake1REMOVE@pngusa.net), October 06, 2003.