The simpering halfwit standing in for Jon Desborough on Sky News this morning. When they showed the clip of Pioloine scoring a beauty of a free kick to clinch the U21 title for Italy, this great festering pillock set aside his script to announce, "Touch of the David Beckhams there!"

Fatuous berk! Did David Beckham invent the free kick? Did I imagine it or have his efforts for England not all gone straight into the wall bar one? Does the fact that Sky have shares in Newton Heath make these a*seholes think that it's worth intruding on a supposed News Bulletin to mention this one trick pony? High time we got Mihailovic, Recoba and Beckham to take free kicks in a competition: the cockney w*nker would come a very poor third. How's about a crossing competition? Shearer, Nedved, Del Pierro, Ginola and Boban all beat that panty-waster hands down, but because they all have more than one string to their bow it's just a small part of their game rather than their sole function. Anyone who reckons he's just too stupid to concentrate on more than one thing at a time is just being unkind.

I'm going to get stomach ulcers, aren't I? :-(

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Answers

Little twitchy this morning Softie?

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

An emergency supply of Rennies & Alka Selzer winging its way to you via cybercourier Softie. To prevent internal haemo ... hemorr ... problems before they arrive however, I can only suggest you sit down, place your head between your legs and breathe deeply - assuming that's a safe thing to do of course !!

O how sweet it will be when Newton Heath's current golden era comes crashing to the ground and all those fawning t@ss$rs are compelled to face up to their - plentiful - inadequacies. I can only recommend you don't cark it in the meantime else you'll miss alll the fun .....

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Softie...you read into things too much. Now!....you don't see me getting wound up when Alan Hansen or someone talks about a guy who's all elbows falling over all the time......screaming "did Shearer invent falling over when there's no options left"?

:-)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Can't see the "golden era" coming to an end LT......can U?

Feck!!..I tought you lot weren't bothered about us....Newton Heath (NH?..we're United...NOT NH)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

LR, Go and study your own stools.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Wasn't referring to the 'true' fans Lanky (define how you will). Only to those despicable curs who pick a team (any team, so long as they're the best and I can look really cool wearing my Sharp shirt around town)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Long time no hear Lanky ! I of course wasn't referring to the 'true' fans (define how you will). Only to those despicable curs who pick a team (any team, so long as they're the best and I can look really cool wearing my Sharp shirt around town). It's possibly easier for you to ignore their existence than for the rest of us.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Apologies for the double. I've no idea what coloured pills I popped this morning

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

It was nice to see on Ch4 NUFC teletext page confirming Nobby had the same number of goal assists (15) as Beckham. He also impresses with a 1,093 (I think) Opta rating. Anyone know of Beckham's stats?

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

But Loony....the real United fans don't wear colours. And there's THOUSANDS of us :-) These bandwaggoners that you dislike so much....who are they?...how old are they?....you're not seriously saying that there is a breed of men out there chopping and changing teams as and when it suits them.....THOUSANDS of them:-)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

Errr...Bobby....haven't you all been telling me that WGB would score millions if he had the service as supplied by Beckham. Now it seems he does. Make yer minds up.

BTW..Statistics eh?...who needs 'em:-)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

It's not the fans at all it's all the media saddo's that don't have real lives at all just virtual ones. I don't mind if someone is passionate about their team, it means that somewhere is special to them, but these guys just don't get out much and so hence the only thing they know is this bluff yer way in footy speak stuff.....pathetic.

As for the corporation based at Old Trafford and their fall, that will come as the current team is a fluke in my opinion. They all came at once and the team appears to be buying rather than nurtering, and you will never do as well than when you nurture....the team will break up and they'll do a Liverpool.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000

And Nobby has been away for some matches this season so Shearer would have scored even more ;-)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2000