In taking Aussie's Daintiness Quotient test (if it's not there anymore, as she doesn't archive, it can also be found here and here) I found that I am so not dainty that I'm like the anti-Columbine, with a score of 25.

How dainty are you?

-- Kymm (hedgehog@hedgehog.net), June 06, 2000

Answers

Wow. Some weird questions. And math. I don't know if I can do math at 10:30 in the morning on a day off...but man if I'm way dainter than I thought. Got a 60.

Why would chicken tenders bother me?

And my results may be skewed, in that I had a psycho-crazy animal man who collected...things...living in my apartment before me, and even though I scrubbed every inch of this place with bleach, it still skeeves me out to remember how many little dead bug bodies he had, instead of pots, under his kitchen cabinets.

-- Jen (maharishe@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

Well, depending on interpretation, I'm either a 10 or a 50, and I'm much more apt to believe I'm the ten. The questions that fouled me up are:

Enough napkins? I have a six year old! I can never have too big a stockpile of napkins in my car. He may decide to get in a mud and ketchup fight somewhere, and I'd like to swab him down before I have to smell that on him all the way home. So I answered no, just because an entire case of napkins wouldn't be enough.

Actually like condoms? I do! But not because they contain everything nice and neat, I just like the texture and the way they feel. Yes, yes, more than you wanted to know, I'm sorry.

I totally dig wondering about the people who lived in a place before me. I'm all about a sense of continuity! When I was young, I used to write notes in out of the way places that they might not paint over when we moved, just so I could say hi to the new inhabitants.

-- Saundra (scrnwrtr1@home.com), June 06, 2000.

I got an 85 which is really ridiculous because I'm not dainty. Aside from the whole girly shoe shopping thing... Though being a vegetarian I sort of ignored question 13. I also wonder about some of the questions. It would bother me if I saw stains on a mattress but probably not to the point of changing rooms or making a hotel employee insane or anything. I'd just suck it up. 'Course, like Kymm I can't imagine ever taking the sheets off the bed to even see the stains. Same kind of thing with a plastic wrapped spoon. Given a choice I guess I'd rather have it wrapped, but I'll still use it if it isn't. Plus I'm kind of weird because I don't use little toilet seat covers provided for me, but in certain restrooms I do find myself making 'em with toilet paper or something.

-- Amanda (MandaB@nac.net), June 06, 2000.

Before I admit my score, I have to point out that the test seems more a judge of obsessive/compulsive germ phobia than daintiness... I seem to like order. 210.

-- Moira (profundum@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

Oh, yay. First male response, woo hoo. 15. That food-on-the-floor thing didn't take into account the 3 second rule. No fair.

-- Colin (ethilrist@prodigy.net), June 06, 2000.

All hail Moira, the daintiest person on the face of the earth!

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

Colin, you only alot yourself three seconds?? It's a thirty second rule in my house. . . slightly longer if the dropped food item isn't sticky and likely to pick up a collage of dirt.

-- Saundra (scnrwrtr1@home.com), June 06, 2000.

I don't think of myself as terribly dainty, but I scored 125. Anyone who eats food off the floor in my house has a death wish, what with all the invisible cat box germs tracked all over, and the disgusting- thing-the-dog-rolled-in germs on top of that. I can't imagine removing the sheet from my hotel mattress, but yes, a stain would ick me out, if it looked like it might be a pee stain rather than a ... well, a something else stain. The last cup of coffee is yucky and I never drink it at work (I do at home, but only if I made the coffee and if it's within an hour of brewing). I put "no" for the toilet seat covers, but I was lying -- I use them at work if someone else is in the bathroom, because there are people who actually listen for that tell tale rustle and inform you of your grossness if they don't hear it. But that balances out because I also said "no" for making homemade ones if they weren't available ... I don't normally do that, but I have done it for some particularly revolting bathrooms.

I do not use the last little squares of toilet paper unless I'm desperate, and I have a well-document aversion to french kissing. I am very dainty, indeed.

-- Beth (beth@xeney.com), June 06, 2000.

Aussie (who doesn't archive, so you might want to read her comments today, 6 June) noted privately to me that

"Of course I wrote the test to slant in my favor. [I accused her of this in my entry. -c] And if you'll recall, I got the fast food/paper napkins question from a comparison I did with you, so we could say it was slanted specifically against you. "You aren't included in the stats on my page today, though - you'd bring up the average of either the girls or the boys. I thought you'd probably be notably dainty - I mean, really, you are, using the nice meaning of "dainty" moreso than my catty, sour-grapes description."

A couple of my correspondents took issue with her meaning of "dainty" ("fastidious" is closer to what she had in mind) even though I put in her explanatory block specifically as a precaution against that.

My friend REM says he got a minus forty-five but I suspect he missed the part where you were supposed to start with a hundred. Aussie says a negative score isn't possible. Given what I know of the man, though (and given the crudeness level of the additional questions he proposed), I suspect he's somewhere near zero.

I didn't think I was all THAT fastidious, but I can't dispute the evidence. I'm with Beth, though - in our house, not eating food that falls on the floor is a really smart idea. This is less a reflection on the state of my hygenic standards than a reflection on the state of our floor.

-- Columbine (columbine@inu.org), June 06, 2000.

I scored a 65. I thought it would be much lower, since I don't think of myself as dainty, but I guess I have a few germ issues.

Being on the suggestable side, I'm now thinking about the people who lived in my apartment before I moved in. It's a 75-year-old building. It has seen a lot of tenants come and go. At least my apartment building isn't called The Branford.

-- Laura (lbhelfrich@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

Well, I got a 70, but I don't deserve it. Really. I got the improvise seat cover points because I've just spent two weeks travelling through the UK, using some really, really grotty bathrooms. (My husband was all smug because he can stand up. Bastard.) Is it dainty to wipe the seat and use a cover if there are yellow droplets on the seat when you come in? 'Cause sometimes it was that or nothing.

In fact I never used seat covers at all before I came to California, either, where they have to have them in every bathroom. Somehow after a year my brain started to think: "Why would they be required if they aren't necessary?" I'm willing to take the 40, because I do use those wretched things now, but the improvisation seemed closer to "getting all your shots" than daintiness.

You're all laughing at me now, aren't you?

-- Jessie (sorokin@alum.mit.edu), June 06, 2000.

Not that I mean for you guys to think less of me, but my floor is filthy. I've seen cleaner mud huts. I still eat something that falls on it, I just brush off the larger chunks of filth.

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

I knew it was too early to do math. Or read. Or think. I missed the "start with 100 points thing," too. Damn.

I guess the dropping food on the floor thing depends on where it's dropped. Kymm, they're your germs, so you're okay with that. I can dig that. But any where else...ew.

Anyone still think about doing that "kiss it up to God" routine when they drop something?

-- Jen (maharishe@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

I didn't take the test (I assume I'd get a 0), but what's up with those paper toilet seat covers? What are you guys protecting yourselves from? Honestly, have you ever visited a friend in the hospital, tubes in various orfices (orifii?), whispering, "I should have covered the toilet seat!!!" What particular germs spread more quickly through the butt cheeks faster than through contact with the door handles, sink knobs, paper towel dispenser, etc. in the bathroom? Do you think your ass is that absorbent?

-- Patrick (xingcat@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

No, I don't think my ass is that absorbant and I don't use the paper seat covers, but I do understand why others do ... and Patrick, you clearly belong to the gender that pisses in urinals, because if you belonged to the gender in which certain members thereof piss standing up despite their lack of proper equipment, you would understand that it's not really a germ factor; it's an, "Ick, this seat is wet and warm and ... oh, man, I'd like to kill that woman" factor.

On another note, I do not recommend taking this test with your significant other, as you are likely to completely gross one another out. Here is the current status of our relationship: I won't kiss him because he eats food off of our not-remotely-clean floor, and he won't have anything to do with any part of me that comes within a foot of an unprotected public toilet. Alas.

-- Beth (beth@xeney.com), June 06, 2000.

Hmmmmm, I got 85. At my house with two dogs (a black lab and a black Scotty) the food never hits the floor. The Scotty has learned to sit waiting and it just drops into her eager little mouth! The Lab however thinks we are throwing stuff at him and dodges the morsel, which ends up in the Scotty. (Did I mention she is a tad chunky?) I don't get out much any more, so the bathroom seat thing only happens at the movie theatres, and some people are really slobs. I use the tissue covers if they are handy. Other wise, I wait til I get home! Yuck!

-- Jackie (gabbydink@webtv.net), June 06, 2000.

I got a 10. Which would probably really startle anyone who's been to my house, since it's almost always very neat...but neat clearly doesn't equal germ-free. But I have lovely cobalt blue dishes, so no one notices. :-)

I think that score makes me the lowest female score so far. My mother was right -- I'm a slob.

-- Mary Anne Mohanraj (ma@mamohanraj.com), June 06, 2000.

Hey, wait a minnit! I have lovely cobalt blue dishes, too, and I scored 20 only because I'm on ibuprofen for my arthritis! Next test will cryptically ask "Do you have cobalt blue dishes?" I am learning all kinds of new things about people ... the floor food question was really about the time I dropped a big chunk of fried fish out of my po'boy on the ground at the docks ... and my roomie noticed when I snatched it up off the oystershell pavement without even thinking. But, I mean, it was a really, really tasty po'boy ...

-- Uncle Aussie (aussie@woogly.com), June 06, 2000.

Hey, the test inventer herself, on my forum! Welcome, Aussie.

I often wonder why there are always droplets on the toilet seat. Sometimes it's clearly water, because some toilets splash up when they flush, but other times...honestly, if you're so damn dainty that you can't bear to sit on the toilet seat, just hold it until you get home.

When I see that, I always wipe off the seat, I'm not that daint-free, but I never bother with a paper seat cover, because I think that wiping it with a bit of tissue makes it all clean and hygenic. Don't spoil my illusions!

-- Kymm (kymmz1@yahoo.com), June 06, 2000.

When I see that, I wipe off the seat too (well, depending on how damp it is, if it's really awful, I'll just find another stall) but I'm pissed for the rest of the day. It's the driblets of blood from the uberslobs that I just can't stomach. I do not pass go, I do not wipe nothing, I leave and wait 'til I get home.

-- Saundra (scrnwrtr1@home.com), June 07, 2000.

I'll use the seat covers if there are any - almost never in public bathrooms - but almost always you'll find that a squatter's been in before you, and the seat is therefore awash in yellow droplets. Nasty. So I wrap a huge wad of toilet paper around my hand and do a fast pass over the wet spots.

But I'll actually wipe no matter what, even if it doesn't look wet - I've had bad experiences with wetness. You glance, see if it's dry, you sit, and you go...oh ICK. Man.

And you never never feel clean again.

Now, how many people actually wash their hands after they go - not just rinse, not just rinse because someone's in the room with you and you don't want them to think you're gross, but actually scrub with soap?

-- Jen (maharishe@yahoo.com), June 07, 2000.

I'm afraid that I have to admit the truth here, because this is not only the Silly Forum and the Girly Forum, it is the Truthtelling Forum, so I am forced to say...

no...

Unfortunately, I am a bad, disgusting person, and I don't even to the rinse thing when others are there. Unless I touch something that I would rather not have touched, like my hand dips into the water or something, then I scrub scrub scrub.

Sometimes I brush my teeth during the day, though, does that get me any points back?

-- Kymm Zuckert (kymmz1@yahoo.com), June 07, 2000.

I do actually wash my hands after going to a public bathroom, whether I use the bathroom or not. As if this will somehow protect me from airborne spores or whatnot. But I only started doing it after my kid was born. I was a rinser before. Shame on me.

-- Saundra (scrnwrtr1@home.com), June 07, 2000.

Okay, everyone, who wants to go to Kymm's house for a meal! Raise your hands!

Okay. I guess because I'm teasing other people, I should open myself up...

I do the social-pressure washing thing. Okay? If there's no one else in the bathroom, I'll run out, because the soap makes my hands dry and itchy. But if someone else is there, I don't want them looking sideways at me and thinking "damn, I wonder if she works in the food court..."

But I always wash before I eat, before I cook. I swear!

Oh. And because I have an abnormally absorbant bottom, I clean that sucker three, four times a day.

-- Jen (maharishe@yahoo.com), June 07, 2000.

I always wash my hands. Even at home. It just seems cleaner. And I use those paper seat things if they have them. Especially in airports. I just figure that they must be there for a reason, right?

But if they don't have them, I don't invent my own. I think that if it's nasty looking enough that I'd be tempted to devise my own, I can prolly just wait to go home. Yucky.

And I never thought I was that dainty... but mine was 105.

-- Andrea (andrea47@u.washington.edu), June 07, 2000.

I didn't think I was THAT dainty, but I scored a 65. I'm funny about bathrooms. I never use those plastic cover seats or anything, but I will sit down on the toilet if the bathroom is at my job. And I will wipe off droplets if they are fairly small. If it's a monsoon, I will go to another stall.

If I'm in a bathroom at another public place like a restuarant, I won't bother to sit on the toilet, I'll just squat. Maybe it's the fact that the germs are more anonymous and unpredictable. And unlike other people, I do wipe the seat after I finish.

If I am alone in the bathroom, I don't bother to wash my hands. Every public bathroom has the kind of soap that dries your hands out. If someone else is in there, I will, since my fear of someone else thinking me gross is greater than my fear of dry hands.

I NEVER pick up any piece of food after I've dropped it on the floor in my own house. If I'm really ambitious, my floors will get cleaned about once a month, so doing something like that is certain to get me last rites.

Vena

-- Vena (ladyv_39@yahoo.com), June 07, 2000.

Oof, I got 120 points. Dainty I ain't but I'll always use toilet seat covers and I always wash my hands...with soap. I used to work with a woman that would bring her work papers into the bathroom, set them on the back of the toilet, poop, and then pick the papers up and just leave. That always made me gag. Well, maybe I am a little dainty.

-- Amy T. (als918@aol.com), June 08, 2000.

Dainty enough to have earned the childhood nickname "Queeny Paws." And a score of 105.

-- Catherine deCuir (journals.guide@about.com), June 08, 2000.

I am apparently not very dainty. I scored a 35.

I have to take issue with the napkins question though. I generally find that the napkins they give me at fast-food joints are sufficient, but only because I am so very very dainty (pinkies extended) whilst wolfing down my big mac that nary a drop of special sauce dribbles to my fingers.

-- deb (deb@io.com), June 08, 2000.

"Wolfing down my big mac?" I'd say that should score a -35. Heh.

I got 90. It was a little unfair, though.

I do use up the last pieces of toilet paper, but only because I can't stand wasting them. It's not like I like using them. Plus, I should have gotten some bonus points for never using the last bit of milk from a jug.

-- Dave Van (davevan01@hotmail.com), June 08, 2000.

I just realized why I never see all these icky droplets that people are talking about. It's because I never look. Usually my pants are down to my knees and I just leap in, butt first, before I even have time to blink.

-- Uncle Aussie (aussie@woogly.com), June 11, 2000.

I'm too lazy to take the test.

But I figure I'm pretty durn dainty. I don't have a problem with dirt -- ie I go out in the garden and get right down in there with bare hands unless there are thorns or something else sharp and potentially harmful. Dirt can always be washed off.

I also don't have a problem with food that's been dropped on the ground, unless it's wet or like, on the floor of a public, much-trafficked area. If I drop a cookie at a picnic, I just pick it up, dust it off and eat it.

But toilets are a whole other issue. I used to be rather blase about the toilet and could never understand why my grandmother _always_ put three pieces of toilet paper on the seat.

Now I've turned into my grandma.

I started using the seat protectors three years ago. I always check the seat, no matter how badly I have to go. I usually wash off the seat, with a wad of toilet paper dipped into the bowl and then wipe it down again with a fresh piece of toilet paper. I also put down the three pieces of t-paper if there are no protectors.

I always wash my hands thoroughly. I hate those air dryer things because they never actually dry your hands and hence the door knob gets wet and nasty. I'm all for paper towels. I also wash my hands every time after cleaning out the cat-box, even if my hands haven't actually come into contact with any of the litter.

So as I've gotten older, I've become a clean freak.

-- Beth K. (owl@littleowl.com), June 13, 2000.

You know, when I was at the movies this weekend, this conversation just kept echoing in my brain and I...I...

Used the seat cover. You people are warping me.

-- Kymm (kymmz1@yahoo.com), June 14, 2000.