Martha Stewart: The Home Invasion : LUSENET : ASTRUC : One Thread

Martha Stewart: Demon spawn or trove of useful information? Have you ever attempted a Martha Stewart project?

-- Sara Astruc (, June 07, 2000


I think Martha Stewart is great. I just don't understand the bad rap she gets. But then, I'd defend Kathie Lee, too... (did anyone see her host Letterman? wow.) I vote Trove of Useful Info.

-- Elisabeth (, June 07, 2000.

Amendment: I just read your entry on Martha. I may be swayed...

-- Elisabeth (, June 07, 2000.

Kathie Lee was pretty good on Letterman, I have to admit, even though she wigs me out a little, too.

I watched all of the talk shows today (hey, it's summer, I'm mostly unemployed), and Kathie Lee was on The View. She was re-entacting her life through a monologue with snippets of song. It was pretty bad, but probably culminated in an all-time low when she intoned,

"And at the end, I can see myself on my deathbed, with only Cody and Cassidy at my side..." and broke into "Sunrise, Sunset."

I didn't know whether to laugh or run screaming from the room.

-- Sara Astruc (, June 07, 2000.

Mmmm. Kathie Lee has her moments. Run screaming at Sunrise, Sunset. I stood up in a wedding years ago where the parents walked the bride and groom (separately) down the aisle to Sunrise, Sunset.

That whole wedding was a production, tho.

I'm a sap for sentimentality BUT i can draw the line. cheers.

-- Elisabeth (, June 07, 2000.

Sara, please tell me this isn't true. I was hoping ol' Kathie Lee might escape the limelight with a modicum of dignity. This is just mortifying. Like, I'm actually mortified for her. Who could possibly enjoy that drivel? She complains about people giving her a hard time, and then she churns out crap like this? Is she on drugs? Oh, the horror. I can't stand it!

As for Martha Stewart, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I hope she spends eternity shucking fresh peas in hell.

-- dora (, June 07, 2000.

Oh, it's true. I watched it with my very eyes. Her publicist must be cringing.

-- Sara Astruc (, June 07, 2000.

did you hear that martha had some sort of lawsuit with a neighbor of hers in the hamptons involving hedges that infringed on her property? she got up in the middle of the night and cut them down or something. can anyone refresh my memory? and oh yes, martha stewart=demon spawn. bastardized creativity for sale, cheap, at your local k-mart. *shudder*

-- Bethany Rusen (, June 07, 2000.

Kathie Lee. Somebody take her children away before they are old enough to kill her.

Martha. Pure evil.

-- Sarah (, June 07, 2000.

To Bethany: I believe she actually backed a landscaper against one with her Jeep, she was so pissed about the hedge. There was a police report and everything.

Hmm...I'd have to vote for both Useful Trove of Info aaaand Demon Spawn. Let me explain...

I love nice things. Thai silk curtains, golden sari silk skirts, antiques, good food. However, as a woman returning to college after a six year absence, I have almost no cash. From Martha's site I've gotten the information I need to make my own Fortuny lamp knock off, so I consider that pretty useful information. I may never be able to afford the real thing, but I will make my own.

But she IS a nasty, diabolical bitch. Running down the neighbors' help isn't very ladylike. Add to this that she acts as if she's perpetually stoned on seconal (almost no inflection, that masklike face that only approximates a smile) and a charmer she ain't.

-- blanche blank (, June 08, 2000.

I agree that Martha is a total psycho, but at the same time, I adore her. It's sort of sadomasochistic, I know, but I guess I just feel cool that I can pull off most of her projects. (Nyah, nyah, nyah Martha! They're really not that hard) My fiance actually worked with a woman who grew up near Martha in Westport, CT. This woman's brother played with Martha's neighbor, and anytime a ball would land in her yard, she'd run outside screaming like a maniac.

-- carol (, June 08, 2000.

I actually babysit for the people that live next to (or used to live next door to her in Westport), she is a bitch but her house is just so so so... beautiful. The best part is that she is leaving Westport because she was always fighting with the people I babysit for (her neighbors). I don't know if you've seen her show when she announced that she was moving? Well, she badmouthed her neighbor for a few minutes. Now you know the scoop!

-- Kate (, June 08, 2000.

BB: I love all the things you described.... I want to make my apartment here look like that.... rich raw silk, big pillows, yum...

Kate: I missed her big announcement. I had heard the same story about the fight with her neghbor, though.

-- Sara Astruc (, June 08, 2000.

Ohhhhhhhh she's a freak, but GOD I love her. Did you see all that pressed glass in her catalogue? My lands. She does some lovely stuff. But, really. She is the devil's concubine. She's got to be.

-- Allison (, June 08, 2000.

Mothra Stewart is the devil. It's that simple, folks. She's just trying to deaden our souls by making us try to crochet toilet tank cozies, so that we'll be ripe for the pickins.

-- Tony Zag (, June 09, 2000.

I'm straddling the fence...I call her (and Whitney Houston) the Anti- christ, but I pay $20/yr for Living to be delivered to my desperate- for-some-GoodThings-home. The past few months the covers have pissed me off. Lush gardens and pretty patios make me jealous, especially while I'm killing off my entirely from seedlings cutting garden. also, I'm recently engaged. let me warn all the brides-to-be...don't look at the info online or in the damn MS Weddings pubs. I actually feel guilty that I won't be laboring over a 4 tiered wedding cake, decorated to resemble Wegewood. horror of horrors I'm hiring a professional baker for that! and there are no plans for the icing to match my china pattern. I suck

-- Laura (, June 09, 2000.

I like Martha. For some reason I just get a kick out of her instead of being pissed off at her.

My mom watches her all the time and has done some of her projects. I guess that's why we like her: we're both crafty types so we see her as a source of fun things to do rather than pressure to live a perfect life or something. I did send her that fake calendar where she's doing all these impossible tasks, and my mom got a kick out of it.

-- Lizzie (, June 09, 2000.

I love Martha! Well, I love her show. She inspires me to keep my house tidy, although I don't always succeed. And I get lots of ideas from her. So, yeah, I like Martha! Also, she's more down to earth than people think. I mean, she's got a good sense of humor and she can laugh at herself. At least she can on TV. In real life I hear is a whole 'nother story. Did y'all see the episode where she was cooking beans? She made me laugh.

-- jade (, June 23, 2000.

I am not ashamed to admit that I have a crush on Martha Stewart.

I can't imagine having sex with her, though. She'd be, like: "Mmm-hmm, yes-wait, stop. Why are you wearing those boxers? They don't match the slipcover. Put these on. There, that's better. Mmm, yes, oh--oh dear, stop, you've untucked the sheet. Tuck that back in. Don't bump that vase. Okay. Mmmm, ooh, oh --my, it's drafty in here. Could you turn up the heat one degree? Thank you. Oh, mmm, yes, oh my god, the headboard woodstain is much too dark! I'll have to refinish that. Ooh, yes, I like that, careful now, you're squashing the pillows. Ah, mmm, yes. Hoo! What are you doing? Don't smoke that in here. Go outside, you. Mmm. You know what I like about sex? It's a Good Thing!"

-- matt (, June 23, 2000.

You think Martha swallows or spits?

-- Sara Astruc (, June 23, 2000.

Ms Stewart is a lesbian, so I don't think that she does either.

-- Kristin Thomas (, June 23, 2000.

Oh, great heavens to Betsy, she is too ladylike to spit. Does she go both ways ? ? ? ? ?

I put her page on my wife's favorites, occasionally looking at it myself - - - - - by golly, damn if I can afford any of the stuff - - - - - - and milady figures that she can find what she wants at Target, K-Mart, Tuesday Morning or garage sales.

-- (, June 24, 2000.

I bought a Martha Stewart shower curtain and some other bathroom accessories at K-Mart. Very reasonably priced, and cute too, so I guess I ought to thank her for that much.

I wish the shower curtain came in a rose color, though. The wallpaper I have been saving for my NYC bathroom has a faint rose hue under the lacy-Victorian pattern, and a rose shower curtain would really pick that up nicely.

-- Sara Astruc (, June 24, 2000.

A friend of mine has a Martha Stewart Nephew in his CT classroom. For Xmas, the tyke shared with the class some chocolate chip cookies he'd baked with Auntie Martha. My friend coated these cookies with shellac and gave them out at Xmas gifts to her friends. I've never seen such perfect cookies.

-- Reason (, June 26, 2000.

You know, I think that's the kid I wrote about in my Martha Stewart entry. Oh, boy...

-- Sara Astruc (, June 26, 2000.

Martha Stewart is very useful. I will use her ideas, only slightly different & better (just to piss her off). The fact that she is an evil bitch really turns me off. Otherwise her products & shows are very inspirational, as i love the idea of a beautiful home and garden.

-- Presha (, June 28, 2000.

Her condescension never ceases to amaze me and when the people call into the show to ask a question I can't stop laughing. They all seem to be so lost without her guidance. I mean I think that I can get by in life without asking her to arrange the items in my refrigerator. This actually happened on one episode.

As for the poor boy on the cookie episode, I truly felt for him. He looked positively terrified to be there.

-- eric (, June 30, 2000.

Bwahahahahaha! You people are some funny folks! I nearly spit out my coffee reading your posts...the "MS having sex" post nearly made me choke with laughing.

Thanks for the entertainment.

P.S. I'd like to slap Martha Stewart for making the rest of us look like we suck as little suzy homemakers. Feh.

Seventh Sister

-- SistaSev (, July 08, 2000.

This forum is closed! Visit ThreeWay Action to post!

-- Sara Astruc (, September 10, 2000.

are you sure?

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