Sometimes life is to enjoy and other times it seems like it is only something to survive. Are you surviving or enjoying your life right now?

(Somehow, in trying to fix a problem here, I deleted the question and along with it I deleted a posting by kim, and an answer by me...I am so sorry, kim, it was unintentional....and my anwer to that post was:

"To this kind of question there is no right or wrong answer. Your answer is where you are right now. Sounds like you are thinking about that though!"

Carry on!

-- jo (jo@crazyoldlady.com), June 14, 2000

Answers

hummm.....if only I could really delete this part of my life that easily. techology is has a ways to goes yet. *grin*

-- kim (kh158@hotmail.com), June 24, 2000.

After working all day and then having dinner and spending some time with my very lively 9 year old, who attempted to close the car door on my arm at the drive in teller, I have to say I am mostly just trying to get through every day. I would like to be a crazy old lady too but I can't because the mom thing overrides everything else. Its a long story, but he's pretty high maintenance. I thought it would ease up by now but it keeps getting more complicated. God help us!I like your site - way cool.

-- Jane Campbell (whudcampbe@aol.com), June 30, 2000.

jo, sometimes it seems my life is filled with joy. I'm happy, feeling good, and get a lot done that I want to do. But sometimes, when everything goes wrong--aching joints, too much to do, fogetting something, or feeling bad all over, then I'm just surviving.

Sometimes when I'm just surviving until bedtime, I have to say to myself, "Quit being such a wuss. Tomorrow will be better." Most times it is better, but some things drag on and one just has to muddle through them.

My husband and I are retired and part of our retirement income is from rentals. This can be very stressful at times. In the past 11 years we've only had to evict two people, and one of them was recently. It was a bad situation. Now it's finally over, and we have a nice new renter.

I'd be interested in hearing what other people have to contend with that bothers them, and what makes them happy.

I too like this site. And Jane, you sound like you're coping well. But I'm afraid to comment, for it's been so long since my son was 9 years old that I'm afraid I only see things at that time with rose-colored glasses.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), June 30, 2000.

kim- Wouldn't it be great to just be able to push the delete button when we needed to? I sure have a lot of days like that.

-- jo (jowho@yahoo.com), July 01, 2000.

Jane, so great to see you here! I sure do get what it's like to have a nine year old keeping you busy all the time. Although at this point it's more my granddaughters than my own kids. Raising kids is not easy, and some are more of a challenge than others as we all know.

I really appreciate that you came by, and I do hope you will drop back by and send friends here, too. I don't have much traffic yet, but maybe we can all bring a friend and maybe we can even set this message system so that we can make up our own topics and chat away if we feel like it.

-- jo (jowho@yahoo.com), July 01, 2000.

gilda, good to see you here again!

Lately I have gotten to a place where I feel more satisfied with most days than I used to. But I have some of those days where it is hard to just hang in there til bedtime. I guess that's just a function of my aging body. Sometimes, though, I wonder about my aging mind as well. I lose patience with people and things more easily.

I'd love to talk more about how we are all dealing with what bothers us.

Hope to see you here again.

-- jo (jowho@yahoo.com), July 01, 2000.

Seems like something common to everyone -- enjoying some days, and just about making it through others. One advantage of getting old (er), for me at least, is being able to accept those "off" days as just part of the ebb and flow of things. Don't have to like them, though!

-- Nancy (nancy@csionline.net), July 01, 2000.

I'm definitely a crazy old lady who is surviving. Sometimes I find myself feeling joy and forgetting I'm supposed to be miserable, so I take that as a good sign. Other times, I'm so miserable I forget what joy feels like. Like I said, though, I'm surviving!

-- Geri (lee@hhs.net), July 01, 2000.

It is so nice to read what all of you have to say. Actually, most of my days are good ones, and I'm grateful.

jo, my aging body is what bothers me most on a daily basis. I've been extremely healthy all my life, but in the last year I've developed arthritis and this bothers me, and I get tired sooner. This is my number one complaint.

I'm glad you mentioned talking about "dealing with what bothers us." One thing that bothers me terribly is a daughter-in-law that doesn't like me. I only have one son, but she comes from a very large family. They spend no time with us, but lots with her family, and there's never a time when she isn't in a fracas with some of them. But I hardly ever get to see my grandchildren, and my son seems like a stranger. This bothers me a lot. Does anyone else have a problem like this?

Then of course, if I could just lose 15 pounds, haha, I know I'd feel better.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), July 02, 2000.

I have a son-in-law who isn't particularly crazy about me, Gilda, but my daughter makes him act as though he does, so we get by. :)

I have one daughter-in-law I just love to pieces, and I never fail to tell her. I also have an ex-daughter-in-law who never gave me a chance. Then there's one I'm not putting a whole lot of energy into because I feel as though there's a power struggle going on...and I'm losing. Hehe

I sympathize with your situation because the ex-daughter-in-law only allows us to see our grandson during my son's every-other-week visitation, and I fear she'll try to turn him against us when he's old enough to understand. Six of my ten grandchildren are three and under, and only time will tell which side of the family they'll be fondest of.

-- Geri (lee@hhs.net), July 03, 2000.

Just checking in today, the 4th of July. Hey, Gilda, how ironic...I'd like to lose fifteen pounds, too. :)

-- Geri (lee@hhs.net), July 04, 2000.

Geri, thanks for telling me about your situation. You said your ex-daughter-in-law never gave you a chance. That's exactly the same situation with my daughter-in-law since the day my son met her. I really went out of my way to be friends with her, but frankly all she cared about is what we could do for them. In fact she said to me once, after they were married, "I don't know why you don't give Billy more now, for after all he's going to get it all eventually anyway." I don't mean to imply that we are rolling in dough, but since her parents have 8 kids, that makes a difference, and she told me her dad had said he was going to blow it on casino gambling.

We only get to see the two grandchildren once a year, when they make a trip back here. We have only been there twice, as both times we were made to feel so unwelcome. We will not go back. Strangely enough though, as far as I can tell, she doesn't seem to try and influence the children against us.

I read a whole long discussion on this issue on seniors.com and I was amazed how many parents have this same sad situation to deal with. It was really heartbreaking to read some of their stories. I'm happy that you have a really wonderful daughter-in-law. I'm sure that helps.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), July 05, 2000.