I'm not, but way too many of the people I know are -- be it cannabis, ecstasy, cocaine or heroin. I did some drugs in my youth (erm, like, three or four years ago) but was always wary of getting addicted to anything... except alcohol, of course.

Do you do drugs? Did you experiment with drugs when you were younger? Do you think drugs like cannabis are really the introduction to hard drugs that the 'Just Say No' camp thinks they are, or is it for the most part harmless fun? I've known several people who could smoke a LOT of weed and still lead productive, non-fucked-up lives, but I've also seen a lot of stoners who have made messes of their lives for the love of Mary Jane. Do you think those people would be fuck-ups even without drugs, or...?

I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but I basically want your thoughts on drugs.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Answers

And, if it means anything, the reason I'm asking is because someone quite close to me has been a heavy cannabis user for about four years, and has recently (as far as I know -- it could have been going on longer) started doing acid and, I'm told, cocaine. I'm worried out of my mind about this person, because it's someone I love dearly and I would completely lose my shit if anything happened to them. So I guess I'm looking for some perspective on how harmful a drug-addled life actually is.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Also, my husband wants me to make clear that the person in question is not him.

It's not him.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

I think that aside from experimentation, most people's drug use is an attempt to self-medicate. Sure some potheads are functional people but I think there's just got to be something eating them that they don't know how else to cope with. And of course some people are more addcition prone than others. Personally, I love drugs. Prescription anit-depressants make my life possible. Without my daily dose of effexor I'd be helpless against my own mental hobgoblins. But it took me years to figure that out. I used to be quite a pothead, years ago. I also dabbled in LSD and mushrooms, but I never tried anything harder. Although I don't have alchoholic tendencies I knew I'd never be able to resist or handle anything harder. I have such a hard time regulating my emotional/mental state on my own(even stabilized by effexor); it is just too easy to rely on a substance to do it for me.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Gawd, I hope I have not come off sounding like a total psycho (backpeddaling furiously). I try to speak openly about mental illness and drugs because I seek to minimize the stigma. Addicts and the mentally ill need to be treated with compassion, not feared and marginalized. That's all.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

I've smoked weed socially, on occasion (about once every four to five months), and I've taken ecstasy but I refuse to try anything heavier. Although, I do think the link between weed users and heroin addicts is a bit of a stretch. My thinking is that the people with drug *problems*, as opposed to relatively healthy recreational users, are more likely to have serious problems and self-destructive tendencies to begin with and their drug habit is merely a reflection of that.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

I think that the argument of selfmedication is spot on, at least for some kind for users. Also, some people get easier hooked than others. I have never touched hard drugs and cannabis dosn4t do much for me. Because I know from hard earned experience that if you get me near alcohol, painkillers (I have serious back problems and can sometimes not get out of bed without them), cigarettes or sleeping pills it takes me months to realize that I have a problem, decide to cut my dosages down slowly, and ultimately quit. The funny this is, my body have always reacted to these things as if they were just what I needed. You know how people get ill from smoking their first cigarette? Not me. I went from none to a pack a day in under a week. I blame this on: Partly genetics (it runs in the family), and obviously on the need to selfmedicate, and that is a whole other discussion (and more personal).

The point I4m trying to make is that people who start using "soft drugs" and cross over to hard drugs, are probably the ones like me, who either have other issues and/or are predisposed.

As for the whole ecstacy, etc. debate, I really don4t know. I am about ten years too old to "get it" (as I discovered by watching the movie "Go" the other day). What I don4t understand is, how people can take anything when they are not sure of the ingredients of or dosages.

As for cannabis, I too have known people, who could totally keep it recreational and others who counldn4t. It seems to be an excellent drug for many other purposes (like for cancerpatients), and I think it should be legalized for medicinal use.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

I couldn't have gotten through my three hellish school years in London without weed. I work 40 hours a week and in evenings I do school work usually until 10 PM or later. I live in a bedsit with 7 other starving professionals in a house with no common room and a filty kitchen. I usually work weekends to help make ends meet, or I'm doing schoolwork. I've no car and no inclination/energy to go clubbing at night. London in the winter is depressing and everyone smokes and drinks too much. If it weren't for pot I'd stay up all night stressing about my school and project work and my living situation. It's cheaper and works better than alcohol. It's cheaper and works better than cigarettes. I've dabbled with some harder drugs, but never found them worth the price and mental stress of taking them.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Jackie, have you expressed your concern to your friend? It must be hard. If it was my husband, say, I would probably do whatever was necessary to get him straight, because we have kids who rely on him and there's no way I'd let him put his personal freedom over that. That is, of course, in conflict with my basic belief that every person has to find their own way, and it is not ever right to force a person into making what you deem to be the best choices. So if I had a friend who sat and smoked pot all day long, I'd be like, dude, whatever makes you happy. But if it was my husband, obviously now it's affecting my life directly. Of course, it's like that with anything: I support anyone's right to get off on Hustler, or spend all his money on expensive electronic toys, or go off on year-long mountain climbing treks in order to find himself, or self-distruct. But my husband, no. At least not while I'm married to him.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

What I hate is when someone looks at a person who sits and smokes pot all day long and declares it wrong. I mean, who they fuck are they, God? Some people aren't gonna be happy until everybody is doing the Ozzie & Harriet thing. I wish they'd get their head out of their asses. I know people who smoke pot all day long, and they support themselves and have families; they are interesting, kind, intelligent people. They consider weed to be a sacred herb, and coming from that mindset, it's not a self-destructive thing, it's a mind-expanding thing. It's positive. It's not like they smoke weed then sit around and play video games all day -- they smoke weed then go and put in some volunteer time at the co-op. They are not productive members of society, if you consider "productive" to mean working 9-to-5 in a cubicle and contributing to the economy by buying all sorts of materialistic crap. They *are* productive in the sense that they are living real, fulfilling lives in which family and community are top priority. It's not my thing, you know, but just because their vision of what makes a good life is different from mine doesn't mean it's wrong.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Okay, as for my personal drug use: I've used coke, opiates, marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, nicotine, alcohol, and refined sugar. I'm not kidding when I say that of all these drugs, refined sugar has had the most negative effect on my life. But I don't want to get into an argument over whether refined sugar is a drug or not, so I'll stick to the substances generally recognized as being drugs.

Coke was... interesting, but overall a basically stupid drug. I have no desire to do it ever again. I got hooked on some sort of opiate derivative, codeine possibly, after I was badly injured in a car accident. Also a stupid drug. Pure acid (no speedy stuff, please) was very, very nice. But due to the fact that it's incredibly hard to get the pure stuff, I'll probably never do it again. Mushrooms -- either incredibly wonderful or incredibly horrific, depending on dosage and mindset. I will probably do shrooms again someday (when I'm no longer responsible 24/7 for my kids) but will be very careful about it. Pot, I love, although I basically have to write off an entire day for it, because it makes me sleepy. I don't have time for that right now. Alcohol is great in social situations, like when I'm out dancing, but otherwise I don't enjoy the effects. Nicotine is fun until I get addicted at which point it does nothing but make me feel sick and cranky all the time.

I think what others have said is so right-on: that it's not, for the most part, the substances themselves that are the problem. If you've got an addictive personality and are looking for a way to self-destruct, then you're going to start with pot (because it's easiest to get) then move onto harder stuff as you become more comfortable with the drug scene and the opportunities present themselves. The pot in itself does not somehow physiologically create the need for harder drugs. It seems to me that most anti-drug people do not understand this distinction.

Is pot harmless fun? For most people, yes. And more -- it has actually helped many people, including me. Can it be a negative factor in an unhappy life? Of course. So can TV, sex, food, money, and sports. Can't you all just wait for the day when things like "Friends", erotic literature, Hostess twinkies, capitalism, and football are outlawed?

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

At the risk of sounding like the only straight edge type in the forum, I don't do drugs, never really have, and won't in the future. But I refuse to critisize those who do. 1)I'm too paranoid to think that I can walk with a stick and not poke my eye out, much less experiment with drugs consequence free, 2)If you've seen me on a sugar rush, you know I don't need anything stronger.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Hilda, if you made a screenplay of your life in London, I bet you could sell it for a bunch of money. Amy Jenkins (who wrote This Life) did!

Anyway, it's my little brother. I can't talk to him because he's never home, and when he is home, my mother (to whom I haven't spoken in months) won't let him talk to me. So it's a difficult situation, especially as I'm 3000+ miles from home. Even if I was there, I don't think there's much I can do.

My real concern is more the situations he finds himself in when he's doing drugs, or is hanging out with his drug dealer friends. They all think they're cool because they're rich and have loads of girlfriends and nice cars and...whatever, and they don't realise that they're putting themselves in dangerous situations. I know that there are a lot of people who used to be wild, and look back on their drug-taking days and are amazed that they ever got out alive. And then there are those who don't make it out alive.

Anyway, I talked to my Dad today and he told me to chill. I might do that.

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2000

Jackie, maybe you should get a second opinion from someone else you're close to. If you are worried about your brother there's probably a good reason. You should trust your instincts. Of course there is only so much you can do, your brother will have to make his own decisions, but keep talking.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

Wow, that sucks. I think you're right, Jackie, it would worry me too that this particular sub-culture, which is fueled in large part by the illegal/taboo status of drugs, is so attractive to your brother, and I can understand you wanting to do what you can to help him keep his head on straight through the experience. Is there another relative or friend that could make sure that a letter you write, for instance, would get to him? Is there a possibility that he could get computer access for an e-mail account?

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

For what it's worth, my husband started smoking pot when he was 13. He experimented with just about everything else, but his drug of choice remained pot. Now, I'm not saying it's okay for a 13-year-old to be doing consciousness-altering drugs. I believe that it's quite dangerous, actually. But it is not unquestionably a recipe for disaster. My husband is proof -- he's one of the most well-adjusted people I know.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

I've never even tried drugs. (Aside from Zoloft.) I probably won't, either, coz I have such hardcore control issues. I have a couple of friends who were determined to make me try pot, but I won't because who knows what I'll say or do? And anyway, I've probably gotten contact highs like 5 million times already, so it's not a big deal.

Okay, that was contradictory and silly. I don't look down on people who do drugs, but I've known a lot of addicts. I think there's a definite difference between recreational use and addiction as an attempt to self-medicate (as Jill said.)

I definitely have an addictive personality (I always forget how to say that -- I mean that I'm easily addicted, not that people get addicted to me.) and that's another reason for me not to try drugs. I would so totally become a junkie or crackwhore.

Jackie, I hope your brother gets it together.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

I'm trying to remember what it was the other day that gave me a glimmer of my anti-drugs friends' perspective...but damn if I can remember it now. (short-term memory loss? *wink*)

I was a straight-arrow, good girl until I was 18. Having never been able to enjoy any sort of alcoholic beverage (I hate the taste of ALL alcohol-- 'tis pity, as I like being drunk), I tried smoking pot and was thrilled with the results. Finally I could be inebriated along with my friends, who were always playing quarters and drinking. I always smoked too much pot and held the smoke in too long and got WAY too stoned. And that desire to always get as high as I could, on whatever I was taking, dribbled over into every other drug I've done since 1985. In college, I drank to get drunk, making faces as I gulped the alcohol and wishing I didn't loathe the taste. I'd get super drunk and then super stoned on top of it. I was experimenting, pure and simple. I wanted to see how high I could go, and there was also a part of me that was rebelling against the goody-two-shoes image I'd lived my entire life. That said, I do, and did, have common sense enough to not endanger myself whilst wasted, ie, I didn't ever operate a vehicle, I usually stayed in, I drank lots of water and made sure there were sober folk nearby in case something went wrong.

I got bored with pot in college, probably because I had smoked so much of it, and because when I smoke pot, I always ended up eating copious amounts of fattening food, then sitting in a sleepy pile for about 10 hours. It got old after awhile. ;)

After I'd managed (over a period of several years) to make myself violently sick off virtually every kind of liquor available (vodka was the last to go, spent a memorable night with my head in the basin after a few gallons of Screwdrivers), I moved on to "harder" drugs.
I went on a hike in the Santa Cruz mountains with a bunch of friends and tried mescaline. It was amazing. The thing that most surprised me was that I was high, yet I was _totally aware_ I was high. On pot or alcohol, I was always drifting in and out of coherance, but on mescaline I was fully in control of myself, no staggering or tripping or falling, and my mind wasn't losing track of things the way it did on pot and alcohol.
Mescaline made everything seem brighter, crisper, clearer. We were in nature, and we fully absorbed and appreciated it, which I thought was brilliant. I sat for hours watching crayfish in their little pond home, water striders battling with honeybees, butterflies flitting around. I loved that day. The high lasted until night, and there was no hangover or crash-- it just gradually wore off. I never had the opportunity to take it before or since, so I'm really glad I did it that one perfect day in July of 1990.

Ecstasy came next, in many various forms. I was discovering my affinity for hallucinogens. I loved that they didn't send me out of control, loved the new perspective they gave me on the world I was so used to. My best friend and I took Ecstasy pretty regularly for a couple years, and then she introduced me to speed.
I will just say this about speed: it is an ugly drug. I don't recommend it to anyone. It is by far the most addictive drug I've ever done, and it got hold of me for awhile. I don't regret having played with it, but I will not do it again, ever. I abused it. When I started wondering if I had a problem, I quit. I knew that if I was to the point where I was questioning it, there WAS a problem. And quitting it was pretty hard, considering I didn't think myself addicted.

My favorite drug is acid, LSD. The first time was the best, but each time since has been exhilarating, fun, funny, interesting, exciting, beautiful, and fulfilling. I know that sounds overdramatic, but to me, it's how acid makes me feel. My personal belief is that acid, taken responsibly, provides access to a parallel consciousness of sorts-- it lets you see the world in a different way. I am what Hindus call an 'animist'-- I believe everything has consciousness, so when I'm on acid and I see the walls breathing and plants waving at me, I feel reassured, because I think that that stuff is really there, all the time, only normal human perception doesn't let us see it. Acid to me is like giving someone glasses so they can see better. I feel like it's a vital part of my evolution and expansion as a person. The same goes for mushrooms, except I get even more giggly on shrooms than I do on acid, and I don't like eating the actual mushrooms, they taste like McDonald's french fries that you left in your car overnight. Also, I hallucinate less on shrooms than on acid, so the profundity of my trip is a bit less meaningful to me on shrooms. But they are really, really, fun.

Cocaine-- we only did coke when we couldn't get speed, and I hated it. With speed, you snort teeny little lines, where with coke, you have to inhale these giant piles, and at the end of the night, my sinuses always felt packed and swollen. Yecch. Plus, I neglected to mention above the truly wretched CRASH that comes after a speed or coke binge. You feel like you are going to die. Incredibly intense depression and panic, for me, and paranoia, hunger-- just a joy all round. (not.) Also for me with the crash came amplification of compulsive behaviors, such as picking at my cuticles until they bled, swallowing until my throat ached, or running the same sentence in my head nonstop for HOURS at a time. That was how I got so abusive with speed-- I'd do lines for 2 or 3 days (on a weekend), and then when I stopped, 2 days later the crash would come, like clockwork, and it would feel so scary and so awful that I would cave and do "just a bump" of more speed, to take the edge off. Only it doesn't work that way; the more you take, the longer you postpone the crash, but you can never circumvent it completely. Add to this that we lived upstairs from a crystal meth dealer (who was an accountant by day), so we always had potent stuff a few stairs away. It was insidious. I don't miss it. These days, I'm on antidepressants, and to my relief my doctors all assure me that my speed use is not responsible for my current state, since I was depressed starting at age 15 and I didn't abuse drugs til I was in my late 20s. I take Effexor now, after 3 years on Paxil, and it seems to be working for now *relief*. Antidepressants render Ecstasy powerless, so the only drugs I can do anymore are acid and shrooms-- and that's when I can get them, which isn't very often. ;)

Long enough for ya? Sorry. :) It's a topic I like to discuss. MHO is that there is such a thing as responsible recreational drug use, and I support it. Abuse, I do not support. Drugs should never rule one's life, but merely enhance it.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

Is ant no canabis but Is luvs me some rabit. Is puts lotsa erbs onit when Is gatsit.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

Thanks, everyone. I'm more hopeful today about his situation than I have been for a very long time.

As Gwen said, I think I also have an addictive personality. Apart from food and...other stuff, I really think the only reason I'm not an alcoholic is because it's so expensive and I get sick so much from it. When I drink, I just do not stop because I'm afraid I'm going to lose my buzz. Add to that the fact that my maternal grandfather was an alcoholic, and the only drugs I've ever done are cannabis, whippets and some other stuff I forgot about. No heroin or crack, though part of me would love to know what all the fuss is about. But, as with cigarettes, I don't want to know so bad that I'll risk getting addicted.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

Grew up in a town that is infamous for drinking heavily and somehow didn't end up being a heavy drinker. I remember my father using beer to kill slugs in our garden, and I to this day will not touch beer. The smell grosses me out. My family drinks, as do most people I know, and there are a LOT of alcoholics in my home town. The trees alongside the live-oak-lined main thoroughfares are scarred at fender- height and there is an open-container law and a law against driving with alcohol open in your car, but no one pays any attention to it. My mother sticks a glass of white wine in her console almost every night as she drives over to visit my grandmother for dinner. Somehow I didn't really take to alcohol myself. Granted, when I was in high school, there was no challenge to it. When we did go out, it was nothing to get an alcoholic beverage. I recall walking into bars at age 13 or 13, asking for and getting a toxic daiquiri. Even so, I have never been out-of-control drunk, had a hangover, or thrown up after drinking. Was a teetotal from age 15 to 18 or so. I drank much more when Iit was illegal for me to do so than afterwards. I did so in part because of the grandfathering laws at the time--when I went to school, they raised the legal drinking age nationwide to a 21-or- over standard and got tough about carding and prosecuting. My birthday ensured that I was legal and then illegal again every year for about two weeks. The backasswardness of this concept got me annoyed enough to circumvent it by buying and consuming some alcohol from time to time, though most of the alcohol I bought was given away to guests. I used to have an amazing tolerance for alcohol when I was in college...set out to find out what my limit WAS and after four strong mixed drinks when I was merely sleepy, I got bored. I'd guesstimate that I had maybe 20 alcoholic drinks, tops, my entire time I was at college. I saw negative examples all around me all the time: this how moronic you look when drunk, this is how unpleasant it is to throw your guts up the next day, this is how retarded you sound saying "whoa, I got sooooo wasted" and so on. Was a teetotal again when out of college for several more years, then started having a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve. Now I'll have a White Russian once or twice a week (and I make the best White Russians on the planet). I still haven't ever been out-of-control drunk. I have gotten tipsy enough on a few occasions that I would not drive home by myself even if I probably could, but then I don't drink at all unless I'm not the one driving or unless I'm going to be out for hours.

Went to college in the 80's, and drug use was rampant. Also, I was an art student. Need I say more? But again, I was a bit of a goody-goody about it. I didn't care what others did, but I was there to get an education (which i ended up havign to work several jobs to finance) and I didn't really mess with anythign that might prove to be too distracting. I couldn't afford to do otherwise--I needed to be in and out of school in four years and it was already becoming unusual for people to successfully do this. Didn't even seriously date anyone at the time, just kept all that casual. So that explains, in part, why I didn't bother. What you don't know, you don't miss. Also, I didn't really see any need to experiment at the time. It--meaning anything mind-altering you might want--was available if I wanted it, and I assumed it always would be. Also, just like with alcohol abuse, some amazing stupidity tied in with drug use was witnessed at this time...won't get into so-and-so did this while high stories, but there were some amusing cases of ignorant blundering...most glaring example was the too-welathy-for-her-own-good friend-of-a-friend who stored an enormous amount of cocaine in a *lattice-topped sandalwood box* on her livingroom table. The shag rug must have been toxic by the time she moved out, not to mention how nasty the actual drug had to have been. I've never done coke myself, but have heard far too many stories from people who have...e.g., the one where so-and-so the amateur smuggler cleverly (not) wrapped a key of blow in plastic and then put fabric softener pads around THAT and the result was a kilo of expensive drugs ruined because it was like snorting soap. If you're going to do drugs, at least learn what you shouldn't do. There are others, but coke was just everywhere at the time, even in a rather laid-back college town, so I have to assume that others have similar experiences.

Pot was available and I usually wasn't in a mood for it. I don't recall indulging much until my late 20's. I worked in a medical library and actually researched various drugs in medical journals. I can't really say too much that's negative about pot, provided that the user isn't still developing. Teens and people in their young twenties are still growing and their brains are still developing, and pot isn't the greatest thing to ingest if you want to reach your full potential. Once you're finished growing and maturing physically, though, it seems to be a mostly beneficial herb if not taken in excess. It's used to fight the effects of cancer treatments, it's great for alleviating glaucoma symptoms, people who have illnesses that impair their appetite and make them nauseous do well with it.

I'm with Kelly on acid/shrooms. Couldn't find anything in the medical literature (at the time I looked) to scare me off of those. It's not smart to go hog-wild with it, but since the highs last for nearly an entire day, most people don't have the time available to abuse them. Also, the grade available these days is nothing compared to the 60's and 70's. (Don't eat the brown acid!) The biggest negative about acid is that it is frequently cut with strichnine, which is extremely toxic, evil, nasty stuff. They kill rats with it. It makes your muscles ache and your teeth grind. If you find some that isn't tainted, you're fortunate indeed.

X, conversely, eats holes into your brain. Bad. Chronic X use makes you stoopid. Not cool. If you choose to use it, well, you know the risks.

It's been years since I did my research, and I'm no longer working for peanuts at the medical library, so I won't spout off without refreshing my memory on specifics first, but generally I think adults have a right to chose what they ingest, and if they are responsible about it (alas, few are)...well, you can't legislate against stupidity.

Since the real question seems to be "should I get involved if someone I know is using drugs and I think they have a problem" or, perhaps, "is the drug bad or are the people taking the drugs bad/irresponsible", I don't know how to answer that. I think everyone is different. What works for me won't work for you and v. versa.

I also believe that some people are addictive personalities and these folks should NOT do drugs. Period. We all have a tendency to want to duck things that are unpleasant by doing things that are more pleasant, and if you're addictive on top of that, you're in trouble. Some people are addicted to more socially acceptable and slightly less physically damaging things like eating sugary foods, going to the gym, sex/romance, shopping...it's all addictive behavior. Whether or not you rule the behavior or it rules you, that's key. I don't do drugs, really, as I don't ebjoy being fukt-up, but I do spend money when depressed and eat fatty/sugary foods and sublimate part of my depressive nature when in a relationship. But I know & admit that I do it. Maybe that's the saving grace.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000

I've never done drugs. I refuse to try anything stronger than the ocassional drink. Simply put, I've seen too many of my family members completely fucked up because of drugs, and I have those aforementioned control issues. I'm terrified of the potential "down" period if I was to get high, as well as the potential for permanent flashbacks even from one hit of acid (it happens... ask several of my uncles....)

I also don't like being around people who are under the influence... bad memories, bad feelings. As a *general* rule, I don't like being involved with people who do drugs, even recreationally, but I have to immediately add that two of my favorite people and very good friends, Klee and Milla, just posted their PoVs. Luckily, they know my squidginess, and I know they'd never pressure me to try anything or do anything around me, and, out of mutual respect, they know I wouldn't ever try to convince them their choices were/are "wrong" in any way or put them down for those choices. But I never would get involved with a partner who did/had done drugs... again, too many bad memories and too much potential baggage. So there it is. ;)

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000

At this point in my life everything is legal. Remember the musical "HAIR"? There is a line that goes, "How can people be so heartless, how can people be so cruel? It's easy-to be hard." Maybe that culture has change now, but I lived in a druggie culture 20 years ago. When I stepped away from it back then, I realized that those "friends" were only around if one had the ability to party with them. And this particular group of people were really peace, love, granolaish. I think most of them still do their druggy thing. Their emotional maturity has been frozen for over 20 years and their bodies look old. No one in this group of people ever helped anyone in need. In fact, they made life miserable for quite a few people because of their extreme narcissism. They do fine in life, but I feel that they will never reach what was once their potential. I am NOT making a sweeping generalization, this is my own personal experience with a group of people I was with many years. But I do have something fun to say. I also learned, that at least visual effects, can be obtained by just thinking a little differently. So as one example, have a trip Gwen. You know how when you play a driving game in a video arcade the road goes under you rather than the car going over the road? Well, next time you drive, try to see the road in that perspective. Imagine that the car is holding still and the road is rolling underneath it. It helps if it is night. Viola!!! Congratulations Gwen, you just had a hallucination!! WARNING. Do not attempt this with passengers, especially kids and don't do it very long so you can get back to seeing whats down the road. Also, the clarity and crispness that someone mentioned-if you watch out for it, sometimes as the sun is going down one can experience it. People who do outdoor photography know it well. The light hits in such a way that colors are vibrant, trees are very green, flowers are striking and everything looks crisp and sharp.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000

Yup, you can definitely alter your consciousness without drugs. For me, pot, acid, and shrooms woke me up to that, and it is a splendid day when I can drift into that heightened awareness all on my own. Better, actually, because you've got this vision without the druggy feeling. I've found also that I'm more aware when I'm ovulating, and when I'm pregnant. Hormones are definitely consciousness altering, but usually they are felt to be so in a negative way because it is so inconvenient to feel more clearly and vividly when your life is arranged in a way that's compatible with feeling little or nothing.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000

Hey Pearl, Very perceptive observation about the hormones. Thanks for the info. I'll have to pay attention next time.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

I too got caught up with speed. I also had yucky bloody cuticles that I would constantly pick. Be careful people! Speed is very damaging to your psyche and those around you. It is really ugly and makes you ugly.

I have grown more in the past 2 years since I have not been hooked on speed. I do smoke pot occasionally and love it. I also want to stress that my definition of addiction is: If you are unable to deal with everyday life without a drink, snort, or puff, then I would consider you addicted.

Here is my 2 cent opinion: I think that when people abuse drugs or alcohol, it prevents them from feeling - makes them numb and I think that the only way to grow and mature as a human being is to feel things - happiness, sadness, anger, love. These feelings are crucial to our evolution as people. If you are in a constant (I'm not talking occasional) state of "numbness", you rob yourself of the ability to grow. My first husband started smoking pot and drinking at a very young age and his emotional growth was severely stunted as a result. I mean, I felt like I was dealing with a teenager when I was married to him instead of the father of my children. He has since cleaned up, grown by leaps and bounds and is now a wonderful person and father and husband (to someone else), and stepfather to her children.

What I'm saying is life can be really scary sometimes, but the ability to face our fears head-on rather than using other substances to "just get us through the rough spots" is much more valuable in terms of our emotional growth.

One more thing: When I found out that my twin brother was using, I was more scared for him in terms of the low-life gutter people I knew he'd be involved with and how dirty he'd feel as a result of diving down to the moral level of a cockroach, and how much he'd have to compromise himself as a person, that broke my heart much more than any physical addiction he'd have to contend with.

Jackie - My brother is no longer on drugs, but it will take him a while to dig himself out of the emotional depths and to deal with catching up with his life.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

I smoke pot and live a productive, non-fucked-up life. I just like it, is all. I also drink, but not on work nights. Drinking is very much a social thing for me.

I was a kind of wild kid; I did pretty much every drug I could get my hands on in my youth (back in the misty dawn of pre-history). Never got addicted to anything, as in abusing it, but have seen many many friends and acquaintances go right down the toilet on various substances (mostly alchohol, coke and heroin.) Always avoided heroin (and needles in general - the only needle touching this body is going to be held by a doctor or tattoo artist.) By the time ecstasy hit the scene I was already tired of hallucinogens.

That's all. The harder stuff is of no interest to me at all any more; I think I just outgrew it.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

I wanted to say to Pearl that your comments are very insightful. I have only done a little pot but IMO it DOES have a heightening effect on the rest of my life; I am able to see things more clearly, brighter, when I'm not high. I personally won't do anything harder than that--from everything I've read the risk outweighs the benefits FOR ME, and I really enjoy. Hey, stick with what works!

That said, I am a mom and I won't use when it's going to interfere with that, when I'm caring for them. I save it as an occasional treat with my husband, after they are asleep. Also I agree that children have no business with it--interfering with brain development is a real concern for me.

-- Anonymous, June 23, 2000

i smoke weed just on the social side of life... just recreational use...i think its good if u know your limit...coz u dont wanna get hooked coz i know alot of people who have been fucked up completely in the aftremath of the high...i smoke weed about every month or so...i never seem to feel the downside of it...i think drinking alcohol has worse effects if drunk past ur limit...so why doesnt every1 who thinks weed is a bad thing...wake the fuck up...and compare it 2 say cig's and alcohol...which r fuckin legal...soz...these things really piss me off.... i wouldnt do lsd, or shrooms or any barbituates...coz i know people who do and they r really fucked up afterwards...but maybe its not every1 who's like that...but i wouldnt take the risk

-- Anonymous, October 21, 2000

i smoke weed just on the social side of life... just recreational use...i think its good if u know your limit...coz u dont wanna get hooked coz i know alot of people who have been fucked up completely in the aftremath of the high...i smoke weed about every month or so...i never seem to feel the downside of it...i think drinking alcohol has worse effects if drunk past ur limit...so why doesnt every1 who thinks weed is a bad thing...wake the fuck up...and compare it 2 say cig's and alcohol...which r fuckin legal...soz...these things really piss me off.... i wouldnt do lsd, or shrooms or any barbituates...coz i know people who do and they r really fucked up afterwards...but maybe its not every1 who's like that...but i wouldnt take the risk...

-- Anonymous, October 21, 2000

i hate smak heads my dad new one who killed his whole family

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2000

If I could talk any of you out of doing drugs I would in a half a heart beat. That's how bad 30 years was for me. Recreational drug use? Not hardly. I'm no born again prude believe me but I strongly urge those of you and those around you to find some other shtick in life to use your time doing. Like helping others. You want to smoke a little herb or have a beer or two, that's one thing and it's yours. It took me 30 years of trying to quit with His help I did. And I will bend over backwards to help anyone else come to abstention. There are so many other things to do with your time and many more cool ways to enlighten yourself. I won't get down on anyone for their scene but there are better more productive ways to deal with life. I wasted a good many fortunes doing "recreational drug use". And I used to know a lot of people who are dead now leaving kids behind. It is cool at first but becomes a habit real fast. Before you know it. I've known so many people who smoke a little herb or do a little blow and then turn around and blast their kids for doing the same thing. What do you tell them? And then their grades go down and you wonder why as a society. Man! It's your scene. And it's shorter than you think. Do something more with it than zoning out. Lots of kids to hug and old folks to feed. That's my shpeel. Clean and sober.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

dont do drugs!!! drugs are bad!!!! poeple all ways think im on drughs but im not im just silly

-- Anonymous, October 25, 2000

I take drugs every day. Drugs make me a better person. They saved me from the pit of despair and they keep me from getting pregnant. You wouldn't have me wallowing pregnant in the pit of despair, would you?

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2000

Drugs are Ok. Ive done research!!! No, its the CIA, the FBI, theyre just telling us this crap!!! Ok, dont believe me then: they framed JEFFREY DAHMER!!!!! Youy gfuys probably think: Oh Jeff Dahmer, sick- fuck, but NO!!!!! He was a narc who got wise and the feds fucking tombstoned the poor fuck!!!! I should know, Im his fucking son!!!!! Cheers Adios Amigos. WHITE POWER!!!!!

-- Anonymous, December 12, 2000

Ooo, a conspiracy theorist who doesn't think the government is behind drug trafficking. That makes sense. The Jeffrey Dahmer issue must have been really well choreographed, I mean the Milwaukee police force must have been very imaginative to come up with that one. How smart.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2000

*laughs with Jane and Jill* Oh thank you. I needed that.

-- Anonymous, December 13, 2000

The answer to your question is no"I'm not a druggie' but i do smoke pot nearly ever day, and the odd social drink. My ex partner of 10 vear's and also the father of my 3 children was a drug addict for the past 8 year's and to see somebody who you love change into a 'druggie' is a very hard thing to live with.That is the reason i started to smoke pot as it helped me to cope,And if i can get through the day rather than stay in my bed depressed i will carry on puffing!!

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001