hi-my husband and i are considering a move to the country. we live in a fast growing rural town (28,000). we moved into a brand new house in a subdivision a year ago. it seems as if we are always on the run. we have always desired to live in the country, although we were both raised in the city. we have come across a great property 19 miles from town. yet i hesitate in making the decision (along with my husband). will i feel isolated? is it too much to handle? (i have four children 7,5, 3, 1) we homeschool, and would be moving into a house half the size of our current one, and it needs a lot of work. any suggestions, encouragement, or discouragement? Has anyone out ther made a move from urban to rural? thanks, laurie

-- laurie (mrhanson@wcnet.org), June 21, 2000

Answers

go for it!!! if you donot try now will you ever have this chance again? we live in a house that is more then a handy man special but it one day will be ours its small but it is home,you can always add on. i bet if you asked your kids they would vote yes. when we first moved here i felt a little alone then they built 2 houses and now i feel crowded, it is a state of mind. remember you can also feel alone in a huge city. once you get moved in and the shock wears off you will so busy tring new things you wont have time to worry. i know my kids would just about die if we had to move into a neighborhood,they are 4 almost 3 and twins that are almost 1.where else can you walk out your door and grab fresh eggs, milkand fruit before 8 am? they love it! i can only wish you the best of luck.

-- renee oneill (oneillsr@home.com), June 21, 2000.

Go for it. It will take some getting used to but you'll be so glad you did. I live 19 miles from a big town and I just hate to go into town. Just think how much better off your kids will be too. I suspect there's considerable less temptation out there in the country.

-- Joe Cole (jcole@apha.com), June 21, 2000.

Laurie, sit down with your spouse initially, and then your kids. Make a list of the things you can and cannot do. Make a list of where you want to be in 20 years. Make sure that this is something you both want. Can you do or learn basic plumbing? Can you do or learn basic carpentry? Are you willing to stay home every day to take care of livestock or have someone who can do it for you so you can take a vacation? If you don't have skills to take care of this house yourself, do you have the money. Buying a fixer upper, ususally encludes a new roof, rotted trusses, foundations needing repair, old unsafe wiring, not enough bathrooms, plumbing that has been fixed before by a handyman, etc. If this is truly a dream of both you and your husband than go for it, but make sure that this is what you truly want. The women is the one who is at the farm 24/7, they will be your animals, your garden, your children to homeschool, and if you can't afford to maintain a second vehicle to get away once in awhile.............mowing, fencing, a well? Heating with wood is very romantic, until you realize you never have even started a chainsaw, let alone cut down a tree (and then he cuts it down and it hits your wives mustang). These are all things that we went through, and yes it was worth it, and you will learn, in fact with the whole process of building our own home, we found that by the time I finished taping and floating, I was very good at it. When we finished plumbing and doing our electrical my husband was very good at it. So much so that 14 years later we have a thriving Handyman Services comapny. But if you can't find happiness milking your goats with your head against their warm side, and happiness to you is walking through the mall, then you might want to think about it again. Vicki McGaugh

-- Vicki McGaugh (vickilonesomedoe@hotmail.com), June 21, 2000.

Laurie, I don't think anyone can tell you to move or not but I'll tell you this! If you move to the country you will have more control (maybe the wrong word) over your world. Your childern will be putty in your hands... I loved it.When mine were small, I knew where they were and who they were with. There were no neighbors close by so I had to pick friends up and take them where they need to go! No hanging aroung the corner,mall etc! We coached ball: (baseball,basketball,softball,we were scout leaders--anything they wanted to do we made time for that!)My childern are now almost grown and they all will have college degrees, they are making there own money and paying there own way. My oldest works as a field scienist for an environmental company, our middle child works as a activity director in several rest homes, and our youngest is a sr. at the state univeristy and works all summer teaching childern of all ages to swim. (He has a full swim scholarship so work is not allowed during the swim season). Do I think it was worth it YES!!!!I would do it again and our childern said they want there childern raised in the country!!!!Just one view!

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), June 21, 2000.

Personal and serious question. Do you enjoy your own company? Does your husband enjoy his own company? If either or both of you must always have to have others to help entertain you, or activities that have little to do with what is real in life, then stay in the city. If you want a sense of self worth from having achieved things for you and your family, then go to the country. If you want your kids to learn the art and skill of working, having experienced life's truths from observing animals do natural things instead of seeing filth on the screen or magizines, go to the country. If you want them to participate in your daily life as you struggle to provide things for yourselves, go to the country. The awesomeness of natural things, like seeing a dark sky full of stars, or a new born calf or kid, birds that know almost no fear coming to eat out of your hand, maybe, or squirrels feeding out of your hand, you will be filled with more riches than any city will ever provide. Watching the change of the seasons, as God's paint brush strokes change your world with various hues of color, colors you have never imagined, gosh that is country. Who cares if the house is smaller, it is the outside that will nurture you and give you solace. For me, I would rather be sentenced to living in a tent the rest of my life than to know I had to live and die in some hot concrete and blacktopped city where I feel the heat slowly but surely killing me. The joy of stepping into a spring, or a stream, maybe just laying down in the water and letting the water wash all my cares away, gosh, that is living. Will it be easy, I hope not, else all the city people will be flocking to my playground, and I will have to go to the city just to be alone.

-- JerryR(La.) (jwr98@hotmail.com), June 21, 2000.

I wouldn't live any other way. It's gotten to where if there is no really pressing reason to leave the homestead I don't wanna go. What I've found is that things like having all matching crystal and dishes or the latest fashion have lost all relevence, in fact I can't believe the things I used to think were important. It's too personal a decision for anyone to make for you, but chances are you won't be bored, in fact, your time will seem to fly. Besides, if you get lonesome, and if you are lucky, you'll still have access to the net and likeminded people...

-- Anne Tower (bbill@wtvl.net), June 22, 2000.

laurie, the only safe place to raise children is in the country. They will all love it, even if they gripe about being so far from the Mall and fast food places. Try to figure out a way to add on to the house. It will drive you crazy after awhile. That's my only complaint about my place, the house has always been too small. Make sure you can afford the cost of commuting too. Good luck, I would rather live in the country than any city any where. karen

-- Karen Mauk (dairygoatmama@hotmail.com), June 22, 2000.

Hi, Laurie. I was raised in the city, and owned two homes inside Minneapolis city limits, before moving out to the country. I also have four children, ages 9, 6, 4, 3. I live 17 miles from a grocery store, and usually the cars that come down our dirt road are coming to see us.

I moved into this old 1896 house last Spring, and it needs considerable work. How much space do your kids need? How much space will they have outside? You might feel isolated, but you'll get used to it. I think it is a good lesson to learn, to be able to enjoy your own company. When I became a single mother (recently), it took me a few months to settle into the quiet.

No, it isn't too much to handle. Start slow, and take it one step at a time. Mow in sections. Get a few chickens. Hang two loads of laundry on the line. Give yourself a year to unpack. Give yourself three months to pack, and do five boxes a day.

Life is short, and the march of time waits for noone. If the experience doesn't work out, your kids will have the country for a few years, then you chuck it and move back. Regret is for those who don't have the courage to try.

-- Rachel (rldk@hotmail.com), June 22, 2000.

If you move 19 miles out, you need to realize that things have to change or you will feel even more "on the run" than you already are. The above posts give great answers, and I too would "go for it" in a heartbeat. But you need to stop and look inside yourself to make that decision. You get (stars, peace and quiet, space) and you need to give up (lessons?, concerts?, dinner out?). If you do go, just remember that you can't make it "perfect" in one year - it takes time to fix up and build a garden and all the rest. Good luck and let us know what you do.

-- Deborah (ActuaryMom@hotmail.com), June 22, 2000.

Hey Laurie, I am a country girl born and raised and my hubby is from Los Angeles. He has told me so many times before that he is jealous of the childhood that I was able to have. My parents were not homesteaders, and they only had a garden a few times when I was growing up, but I would not trade the other things that the country has to offer for anything. I had woods and a creek to explore all summer long, and a nice safe dirt road on which to ride my bike! It was great for me and my sister. We now live 20 miles from the nearest town, and I feel like we are too close. I would love to move farther out and find a bigger piece of land (we have no woods or creeks now, and I really miss that). Look into your heart, and remember that you don't have to give up everything at once. I think you will find that after a few months, you will wonder why you didn't try this sooner! :o)

-- Linda (botkinhomeschool@yahoo.com), June 22, 2000.

If it has always been your dream, you're halfway there. 4 kids are a lot to handle on your own, but you know that already, and if you're homeschooling, they should be used to being less peer-dominated/independent. What kind of auxilliary help do you have now (parents, sisters, babysitters, etc)? If you're pretty much doing it on your own, then it wouldn't be much of a shock to the system. How do you like living without amenities? Are you good campers? Or do you require a lot of outside stimulation? Do you gravitate towards quiet, or do you like crowds and sparkle? Do you hesitate to repair things or do you jump in with a monkey wrench and see what you can do before you resort to a repairperson? Time and tide wait for no man...if you have the temperament for it, I'd say, go for it. It would be great for the kids. (You can always change your minds and return to the suburbs, those hellholes of boredom, materialism & drugs.)

-- snoozy (allen@oz.net), June 22, 2000.

Since you already homeschool I'd say half your battle is already over! I can't tell you to move because it must be a decision and a committment that you and your husband both make...if one is really committed to it and the other isn't, it won't work!

Consider all the decisions...the differances...what you really want for you and your family now and in the future....

I wish we lived FURTHER in the country. My dream would be to live in a cabin in the middle of 100 acres in an area of the country way away from any large city. (We have 13 acres just outside a town of 5000)

Best wishes on whatever you decide! Please let us know of your decision and how it goes! We'll all be pulling for you.

-- Suzy in 'Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), June 22, 2000.

HELLOW! answering your question in my opinion, that if you feel like you need a little more safety, than the country's the place to be! i live in the country, and i like it. as long as you move into a place near a dirt road, than you probably won't feel iscolated. (there are plenty of them around here!) Best of luck! Joshie-Boy =)

-- Joshie-Boy (joshie_boyis21@hotmail.com), June 24, 2000.

We just made the move from Tampa, Florida, to rural Ohio. It takes about 45 minutes to get to the nearest fast food/strip mall area. Our house was a tremendous fixer upper - more than we could handle ourselves. So we had to hire a contractor to come in and do what we couldn't. But there is still plenty left for us to do.

I grew up in a similar situation, moving from a small town out to the country. It was great. My brother and I loved it. I have always been proud to tell others that I grew up in an area where I had absolutly no fear of people. We could walk anywhere, at any time of the day or night and the only danger was high cholesterol from having so many farmer's wives drag us in an feed us.

Now after 20 years away from that, we have returned to a similar situation. The first couple of weeks were hard. I felt a few flashes of panic at being so far out. But quickly I have returned to the state of mind that I don't really want to leave the place, and want to hurry to get back after my errands to town. I can't carry on about the joys of homestead life yet, as we have so much work to do around here that we crash exhausted into bed each night before even looking at the stars. (It is a blessing to no longer be able to see them through the hole in our bedroom roof.) But I know this phase will also pass and we will be able to settle down and enjoy the place more after we get it stabilized.

All I can say is that children thrive in a rural environment and your lifestyle will be whatever you make it there.

-- Lori Price (klnprice@yahoo.com), June 27, 2000.

I wouldn't hesitate for a minute myself. I do not have kids and am not married so obviously my circumstances are different. I do have an elderly Mother who needs my help with things which is why I haven't done it yet myself. But I'm working on it and if all goes well we will be in very rural northern Maine in a year or so. I'm in suburbia myself, I didn't move to it, it moved to me. This was country (I still live in the home I grew up in) but is no longer very country. City folk moved here mostly from Boston and New York. I think the population is around 55,000 or so these days here. It was less than 15,000 when I was in my early teens(many moons ago, OK the 60's). Anyways you're talking 19 miles, that really isn't all that far if you feel the need to go back now and then to visit etc. Things will be different but better in many ways. You probably won't have access to all the services but that is no big deal if you think things out in a bit of a different way. The further you get your kids away from the masses I feel the better for them. My humble opinion anyways. Too many bad distractions for kids in city/suburbia these days. I know the day the local kids got out of school there was a rash of B&E's, vandalism and wanton destruction etc. etc. Actually being only 19 miles from where you are I'd probably be concerned about suburbia encroaching you again down the road apiece. In any event it's a much more relaxing/enjoyable life when you get away from all the rat race stuff. In my opinion you should be happier in general and probably live a lot longer. Wish you well no matter what you decide!

-- Bob Johnson (backwoods_bob_2000@yahoo.com), June 27, 2000.

DO IT ! As soon as you can .We moved from a small town { in CT standards} almost 2 years ago and would not change it .To say our house was a fixer upper was an understatement .My kids are 14,11,8, and almost 1 .I regret not doing it many years ago {hubby wouldn't move } .The kids love it , we have all types of animals .We are 25 miles from town .You will get used to it .It really doesn't take that much longer to get to the store now because there is no traffic to deal with .

-- Patty Gamble (fodfarms@slic.com), June 27, 2000.

We moved our family to an old farmhouse on 52 acres when our 4 kids were 15,9,7 and 5. It was the happiest time of my life. We had pigs, and sheep and calves. Our own pony and a milk cow. The kids are all older now, but the memory lives on! Go for it!!

-- Kim Scales (barkinbarnyard@rrv.net), July 04, 2000.