I must have heavy bones, because I always weight MUCH more than people think I do. I'm 5'4" and my best fighting weight is 130; people routinely think I weight 110 lbs. While weighing me, a nurse at the doctor's office said, "You can't possibly weigh that much." Rude!

-- muffet (muffet@xoommail.com), June 22, 2000

Answers

I used to base my weight solely on numbers (i.e.: 140 = bad). Since I've gotten sick, I don't do this anymore. I'm not sure what contributed to the shift in thinking, exactly. It has something to do with being pathetically grateful I'm not dead, I suppose.

Also, since I've started going to the gym, I can eat pretty much anything and not worry too much. It's grand.

-- Sara Astruc (saraastruc@aol.com), June 22, 2000.

I have the opposite condition from you guys--I'm short and small-boned, so even at 115 I look heavy. I think having big boobs also contributes to the effect.

Whenever I go to the doctor's and they put me on the scale, they always start the weights at, like, 135 or 140 and then have to slide them way down.

-- Jennifer Wade (jenwade@earthlink.net), June 22, 2000.

I weighed 142 at 16 -- but I was also already 5'8". Now, 17 years later, I'm still 5'8", but I weight close to 160 (okay, 157. Close enough). Still, people consider me "slim." I'm blessed with long legs and a long waist (although that results in my being unable to tuck my shirt into my pants; I end up looking like Ed Grimley: "well! I must say!")

I hate, hate, HATE stupid supermodel stats like Elle McPherson's: "I'm 6'2"! and I weigh 120!" Give me a fucking break. Freak of nature, is what that is. Skinny model arms disturb me greatly. If my niece (7 years old) is anywhere around, I'm sure to say, "Look at that! She must be really ill." Heh. Sarah Michelle Geller is a prime example: her upper arms have slowly become quite frightening.

The digital camera has definitely made me more aware of my body; it's true that the camera adds ten pounds (so imagine how skinny and ill those models are in real life). I look incredible "hippy" in photos. However, I'm learning that what my eye sees is not what others see. That's calmed me down considerably.

Like Sara, my sweetie loves my ass. He doesn't like to see me losing weight, although he supports me working out, just to have stamina for --ahem-- other activities...

Hey!

I meant tennis!!

-- The Last Girl Scout (deniseb@wwnet.net), June 23, 2000.

there is no way elle mcpherson can weigh 120 @ 6'2". cause, then i would be fat...at 5'7.5" i weigh 110.

when i go to the dr's they immediately put the scale to 90...how rude!

and i'm sick of the looks and comments - 'oh, you don't like chocolate? that's why you're so *skinny*'. oh, you don't eat cake? that's why you're so *skinny*'. i don't eat that stuff cause i don't like them, not b/c i'm watching my weight. i'm so *skinny* cause i spent more than half my life as a classical ballet dancer. i have very fast metabolism. i eat slow...i eat about 5 meals a day as opposed to skipping breakfast, eating light at lunch and stuffing my face at dinner. i eat until i'm pleasantly full and then a couple of hours later, i eat again.

i am not *skinny*. i abhor that word...i am muscular, athletically built. i have killer legs (ballet) and a super tiny waist...it is just as hard for me to gain weight (i've been the same steady weight for 10 years) as it is for the next to lose weight.

don't judge me b4 you know me...it's insulting and rude and makes me want to call you mean fat names!

(i apologize for the rant...i am just tired of all the scrutiny.)

Cp.

-- colleen. (mulder3_29@hotmail.com), June 23, 2000.

I just want the ladies to realise that all the guys I know hate skinny women. I find ally McBeal repulsive and don`t get me started on 'supermodels'. I like women with curves. Having a butt is good! having breasts in good! The women I see in the media do nothing for me. I want to see "real" women. when I cuddle up to a lady I don`t want to have to worry about being impailed on her protubing bones. I like my women built for comfort and not speed.

-- Adam (adam@bravo.screaming.net), June 23, 2000.

It really is deceptive - I have a heavy frame too. I am 5'5", and I weigh about 155, but noone ever guesses that high. Remember too, that muscle weighs three times what fat does, so that someone who is in shape may weigh more but look smaller than someone who's not.

-- Jessica (jesst@brown.edu), June 23, 2000.

(smiles wryly)

Well, that makes me feel much better about entering my weight on the treadmill now. Or about stepping on the scale at the doctor's, only to have to watch the nurse slide it up about 20 pounds.

I am still coming to terms with the fact that I'll never be wafer-thin. But I figure I can strive for a curvy, muscular figure; I already have the arms and shoulders from swimming a mile a day, now I just need to drop some overall body fat (curse you, desk job!) and reveal - I hope - the waist I had a scant five years ago.

-- Lisa Schmeiser (lisa-nospam@schmeiser.com), June 23, 2000.

Lisa:

I know what you mean about the muscular-curvy thing. That's the look I'm trying for, myself. I like my arms to have definition since they're the body part that gets seen the most.

In the main, I think I look better naked than dressed.

-- Sara Astruc (saraastruc@aol.com), June 23, 2000.

Not really a guy thing to worry about, but a year in Tashkent knocked about 25 pounds off of me. The combined effects of exotic bacteria, strange food (horsemeat, sheeps' heads, etc.), haggling and battling with the people of the steppes in every bazaar, and doing my laundry in the bathtub three days a week left me well-toned, exhausted and ill.

Thank god the secretaries keep my new office well-stocked with snacks. You just can't get Chex Party Mix in Central Asia for some reason. If you want to buy milk, they'll bring the cow (or goat) to your door, but you can just forget about cold cereal. They do have Kashi, which is a passable substitute for kitty litter, but little else.

At last I can start larding it back on it again...

And how much do you want for Camilla?

-- Alex (ahuemer@mckenna.edu), June 23, 2000.

Alex, you want a care package? I'd be happy to send you some Chex mix!

I'd probably take $3500 for Camilla, although I haven't really researched it.

-- Sara Astruc (saraastruc@aol.com), June 23, 2000.

I second the knowing-there's-a-girl-heaving-in-the-bathroom sensation (the Utter Silence the disordered girls affect, often with the quick turning-around of the feet when you enter the bathroom)! The girl across the hall from me last year was a bulimic and I felt helpless and angry at what she was doing to herself. Arrgh.

Don't worry too much about the weight thing---muscle definitely weighs more than fat, so concentrate on how healthy and fit you are. :)

me :)

-- S. (syi@wellesley.edu), June 23, 2000.

Weight numbers are so misleading. I'm 5'9" and I weigh close to 200 pounds. But people guess my weight 20-30 pounds less than that. My sister is the same way (though younger and hence still thinner). I look like I could lose some weight, but I don't waddle, I can see my toes without bending over, and I have a real waist. I'm just big. My shoulders are 22 inches wide. I have a six-foot "wingspread". It's the way I am, and left to myself, I like it.

However, if I tell people how much I weigh before they see me, they expect Momma from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape". It's very frustrating, especially if you're placing an internet personal in a part of the country where 5'8" seems to be the average height for men (damned in

-- Cindy (cindy@kismet.cx), June 24, 2000.

I always factor in boob weight when I go to the doctor's. Two C-cup breasts can weigh 12 pounds put together. If I subtract my boob weight I get a lot more accurate a reflection of what my body is carrying. I'm 5'2" and weigh 120, but I'm very curvy. I used to weigh 130 and I liked it just fine, but depression screws your appetite. What I aim for most is feeling good - if I feel sluggish and lifeless, then I try to cut out eating between meals, take one helping instead of two, and continue daily walks. Just knowing that I'm eating better and getting even a little exercise makes me FEEL like I look good, which makes me ACT like I look good, which changes people's impressions of me. I don't mind my tummy roll or dimpling thighs so much any longer. :)

-- Lauren (floweroffire@hotmail.com), June 24, 2000.

I second the idea that many men prefer not-skinny women. Skinny is bad. I also second the idea of going to live in a developing country or region if you want to lose weight. Two years in rural-ish China took 30 pounds away from me. But it's not a good thing. No.

-- Bob van Pelt (bob@lackadays.com), June 26, 2000.

This forum is closed! Visit ThreeWay Action to post!

-- Sara Astruc (astruc@astruc.com), September 10, 2000.

You should read "Enter The Zone" by Barry Sears. Very interesting and credible.

-- jkim (jkim@operamail.com), January 09, 2001.

I hate my Body! It's Curvy and i have a medium size bones! My school Everybodies waiste is like 20-25 inches! My waiste is 32! I hate it! I feel like a Monster! I'm not fat! I have like no fat! It's just my bone structere i hate it!!!!! Everybody says that i'm SKINNY but i don't no what there talking about!!

-Buffy 12 yrs

-- Buffy Jillian Blahay (Sirensherre@hotmail.com), May 14, 2003.

Hi...i read the comments about models and had to let you in on this.....there is NO WAY anyone can be 6 foot 2 and weigh 120....i was a model....im 6 foot 1 and weigh about 145 pounds...i was actually asked to LIE about my weight because it seemed so "disproportionate" with my looks ( i wear about a size 8 )...i refused to lie about my weight, and was angry that i was asked to...the point being, dont worry about numbers on a scale...there are so many variables such as muscle mass, bone density, and who knows whet else...i know people who actually GAINED weight as they became thinner because they built muscle mass by working out

-- Amy (somewhere@wherever.com), October 07, 2003.