What are the best insults ever?

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One that I can think of off hand is:

'It was a sad day when you crawled out of the abortion bucket.'

-- siobhan (zootzie@yahoo.com), June 26, 2000


Holy cow, Siobhan, is that one best or worst?? lol ... One of my golden moments, that I believe I've shared with you all, is in response to one of the lamest baseless insults I've ever been on the receiving end of. When I wouldn't let my roommate's girlfriend move into the dorm with us and I got the "I think you're just a homophobe!" email. My now-famous (lol) response: "No, I'm not a homophobe. The real reason is because you're white."

I rather enjoy having what I call ultra-literal yo mama joke insult contests. Like "Yo mama so fat, she generally has to try on larger clothing sizes than the average woman." And "Yo mama so ugly, most men are not physically attracted to her." "Yo mama so dumb, she can't do simple arithmetic without the use of a calculator." People generally either find these absolutely hilarious, as I do, or they just look at me really really weird.

-- Jamie (starvingartiste@yahoo.com), June 26, 2000.


-- mike (supermike1999@yahoo.com), June 26, 2000.

To what are you LYAO dear Michael?

-- Jamie (starvingartiste@yahoo.com), June 26, 2000.

WYPSULA! That's: Would you people stop using lame abbreviations. Come on, just spell it out. It's not that hard. What are you, a bunch of typing-impaired cretins? (Insult, get it?) Jamie, if you did an ultra-literal yo'mama insults I think I would have to look at you pretty weird. Mike, if you don't update your diary soon the "super" in front of your name is going to get dropped if you know what I mean. I've heard say that Hungarian has the nastiest, meanest insults of any language. I printed out a whole page of them when I went to Budapest. Just so I could be prepared.

-- andres (ladolcevita@writeme.com), June 26, 2000.

lol, Andres are regular "Yo mama" jokes a thing of America only? Like "Yo mama so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her why she's moving" ... "Yo mama so fat she jumped into the air and got stuck." Actually, come to think of it, I certainly hope they're limited to one country, oy vey...

-- Jamie (starvingartiste@yahoo.com), June 27, 2000.

I haven't heard any yo' mama jokes here in Australia, but that doesn't mean they don't have them. Today I was talking to a mate about the expression "happy as a pig in mud" and he asked me if Americans say that. And I wasn't sure. I mean, I've heard the expression and I understand it, but did I read it in a book or did I actually hear someone say it? Then he said it was similar to "the Ants' pants" and that's one I definetely never heard in the States. "Cats' pajamas" just came to mind though. Know of any others like that?

-- andres (ladolcevita@writeme.com), June 28, 2000.

yo mama breath stinks so bad... she needs to carry a pack of gum around with her and periodically chew pieces throughout the day to help mask the foul odor.

-- mike (supermike1999@yahoo.com), June 29, 2000.


-- mike (supermike1999@yahoo.com), June 29, 2000.

oops... this should work correctly... www.yomama.com

-- mike (supermike1999@yahoo.com), June 29, 2000.

Hahahahaha Mike you da man, that's why i love ya ;) Yo mama so funky, more frequent showers would behoove her greatly. Yo mama so fat, a regimen of less eating and more exercise could be very beneficial.

-- Jamie (starvingartiste@yahoo.com), June 29, 2000.

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