BATES RAP FOR FERGUSON

Chelsea chairman Ken Bates has brushed aside comments made by Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson in an updated version of his autobiography 'Managing My Life'. Ferguson, who was also critical of star midfielder David Beckham in last week's serialisation in The Times, was unimpressed by Bates' outbursts from his position of power at Stamford Bridge, comparing the Chelsea supremo to chairman Mao. However Bates used his column in the Sunday People to make his own tongue-in-cheek retort to Sir Alex's claims. "The season starts earlier and earlier," wrote Bates. "Scowling Fergie has started his mind-games, an integral part of the Reds' championship campaign. "Normally he picks on defenceless referees and hapless opponents. But this time, in an attempt to flog the paperback version of his biography, he's had a go at me and Beckham - again. "As he approaches the end of his brilliant reign - 22 months to go and counting - he wants to go out at the top. "So to save him time and stress this season, let me acknowledge now that Man Utd will win the Premiership, the FA Cup, the Worthington Cup and the European Champions League and now he is into racing, United will probably win the Grand National and the Derby as well. "Meanwhile, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool and Leeds will continue their annual battle to avoid relegation. "Feel better, Fergie? Still when you leave Old Trafford you should run the England team. After all, your lot run the country from Westminster.

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000

Answers

Hee hee! Better yet, let's just not even have a season. Just give all the trophys to Surly Alex and let the rest of the teams spend a year on some sunny beaches. ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000

>>and now he is into racing, United will probably win the Grand National and the Derby as well.

First thing to do with Ken Bates that's ever made me smile. I still detest the man though. And his brother Cap'n Birdseye.

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000