For f*ck's sake man! No no no no no! Local Hero makes way for Tina Turner. Speechless. This is worse than selling the Big Man:

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FREDDIE Shepherd gazed across the new-look St James's Park today and insisted: "It's simply the best."

Newcastle's #46million redevelopment of the Milburn and Sir John Hall stands will be ready for the Premiership visit of Derby County on Wednesday, August 23.

The impressive work takes the amount spent on the ground since the Hall-Shepherd regime took over to #75 million.

Monument

And the United chairman added: "I think Derby County and a lot of teams are going to be in for a shock when they arrive here this season.

"Our new stadium is simply awesome. Our view is that it is now the best stadium in Europe.

"It's a ground that not only the Newcastle United supporters can be proud of but everybody on Tyneside. It is a monument to the city of Newcastle and I must pay tribute to my fellow director Russell Jones and operations manager Paul Stevens, who have overseen it all."

Stevens revealed that the capacity will be 52,143 which is way short of the 65,000 Manchester United will be pulling in at Old Trafford.

But after having a look round St James's Park today, I have to say that even Old Trafford pales into insignificance.

Indeed, property director Jones declared: "There is no doubt that we now have the best stadium in Europe. St James's Park is the stadium of the new Millennium.

"This stadium is on a different level to Old Trafford or any other ground in the country.

"And what pleases us most of all is the fact that we have done all this redevelopment without displacing a single fan for a single game. This is something that has never been done before."

Stevens said today: "Those people who have seen the new stadium simply cannot take it all in. It's breathtaking and certainly there's nothing like it in Europe.

"On Wednesday night this week when all the workmen had gone home I sat in the press box and looked around.

"And all I could think of was that in a fortnight's time the whole place will be jumping."

On that night and for the rest of the season United will run out to the Tina Turner anthem of "Simply the Best."

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I want Shepherd shot for this.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Answers

Let's go for the full Boro-effect shall we? Let's have bloody cheerleaders and play "I feel good!" when we score. And let's have big foam hands like on Gladiators and go 'Whoohoo!' like a Jerry poxy Springer audience.

Mindless shit! This has me so angry I'm going to bust something in a minute. I just cannot believe how crass that pillock is. Every pathetic club in the World comes out to Tina Turner. Every punchdrunk washed out old fighter comes out to Tina Turner. We had something different that made us unique. No, bollocks to that, let's just be like everybody else. Arseholes!!!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Something has to be done about this. Local Hero is synonymous with the lads playing.

One f##k up after another. Have a referendum at the first home match then play the tune selected by the fans, who else is it played for!??

No wonder somebody pissed on Shepherd's leg when in the Gallowgate, he was lucky to get away with just that!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

What's Next? Gladiators big foam hands dished out at the turnstiles?, now I know how the mackums felt when they called Wearmouth Pit the Stadium of Lite

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

I would suggest that all those unhappy with this decision write to David Stonehouse and tell him - otherwise he won't know what people feel, and then nothing is guaranteed to happen. It may not anyway, of course, but at least if he is told there is a chance. Bitching on here is fun, and makes us feel better, but doesn't actually achieve anything.

I suggest writing to Stonehouse as FF clearly can't read - he never, ever replies to anything. Stonehouse does.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Anyone know the address/e-mail address? Let's do it.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

By the way, at the bottom of the Online edition of the Ronnie it said there were more pictures of St James' on pages 22-23. Does anyone know how to access these online?

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Niall and Biffa's take on this is another classic. Tee hee!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Urm..I'm not actually a big fan of the Local Hero tune. But I agree that 'Simply the Best' is, at the very least, unoriginal. What did the lads run out to before Local Hero?

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

>>"What did the lads run out to before Local Hero? "
the roar of the crowd!!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

What I hate is that we are not "simply the best". We are nowhere near "the best" so the song is crap. We need a local tune and at least Local Hero is written by a Geordie.

Cushie Butterfield? The Cullercoats Fish Wife? Aaa divvunt knaa but let's have Geordie tune. Blaydon Races? At least that would get the crowd singing.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

The Blaydon Races is an excellent suggestion Geordie!! just get the tune pumping out full blast and listen to the crowd roar!!!!!!!!!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Problem is they've only got a 50 year-old version of Blaydon Races which is bloody awful. I seem to recall they blasted it over the PA at the end of Pedro's testimonial so they applause for PB AND KK, on his return to SJP, was totally drowned out. Tossers.

We really need an updated version of Blaydon Races.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Let's see, appropriate songs (at least partially) written by a Geordie...

'sending out an S.O.S'?

'money for nothing'?

'please don't let me be misunderstood'

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

DB,

I recently sent a letter to David Stonehouse (Chief Executive) simply addressed to NUFC Ltd, SJP, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 4ST.
He got it OK.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

I'd vote for Blaydon Races followed closely by Local Hero. As much as I like Simply the Best after a fair few pints in a club/disco (OK, OK, I'm an owd git), it's not what we should welcome the team to. I think this is a job for El Presidenti Rik to give his mate the Chairman of the Board a ring and sort him oot.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

I go with the call for 'Geordie in Wonderland' by the Wildhearts...unless we want to make Axl feel at home with "Welcome to the jungle" (or "Get in the Ring" when the mackems come to play :-))

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

How about ... Do Do Do , Da Da Da ?

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Anything by Black Lace :-)

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Even if they did what they were supposed to do last season, which was have Carl Orff's "Carmina Burrana" blaring out, it would be something. Sadly, they took the first notes of the fanfare at the beginning and then launched into the crap bit from Fat Boy Slim's "Right here, right now" for reasons known only to MC Mick McMax the Master Mixer in the sound booth. Funny how that never caught on....doing neither one thing nor the other.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Great suggestions Softie! I was listening to Appetite for Destruction driving out to the training ground - seemed appropriate!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

How about "Imperial march" from StarWars ???? hehe

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

>>>>appropriate songs (at least partially) written by a Geordie...

The first one that sprung to my mind was "We gotta get outta this place" which judging by the numbers of us who live in exile seems a tad apposite.

I LOVE "Local Hero" and I think it should stay. "Simply The Best" is an excellent song but it's been done to death. Local Hero is ours.

BTW was this a decision made by The Good Shepherd? The article does not make it clear.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

hehe Imperial March - used to be my favourite song on the Empire Strikes Back album(i wasnt even a teenager then..before you laugh)

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Point number one - Simply the best is total bollocks. It is not only unsuitable (sadly) but is also one of the very worst songs of all time. Point two - Local hero is bollocks, a total dirge. Point three - will everyone stop being "professional Geordies"? There is nothing more cringe making than hearing The Blaydon races or any other old Geordie folk song, played at the match. Singing it is another matter. I only wish a few people would join me in singing the proper f*****g words!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

I'm stunned and appalled by this. How utterly crass, tasteless and trite. Words fail me. Shepherd you are a disgrace.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Flight of the Valkyries (sp) or someone must know of an unknown Sousa march that could be taken, the Great Escape for England is magical, I'd even cope with "Winter Wonderland". Has to be inspiring and rising, or just plain fun. Showin my age I feel ... Light my Fire .... Doors Pride (in the name of love) ....U2 River deep mountain high ..... Ike & Tina The boys are back in Toon ... Tin Lizzy Cum on feel the noize ... Slade Aint no mountain high enough The wonder of you .... Elvis War .... Edwin Starr

or

Baby Love Kontiki ... Shadows It's not unusual Do anything you wanna do Olivers Army Do you love me

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

"Money for nothing" seems just a tad TOO appropriate.

I doubt the "...chicks were free" mind!

The vote of the Preston Village panel Katey is "Local Hero" - dix points - which we feel is 'simply the best'.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Ooh...Macbeth, you're onto something there. LIke the idea of Pride (in the name of love). Another, more obscure one, is 'Wire'. It's an instrumental but one that gets the blood pumping, especially played at loud volumes

Or 'A Sort of Homecoming'

Or 'In God's Country' (a nice short one would work well for the run out)

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

"Simply the best" is absolutely cr@p, what the f*@k has it got to do with NUFC / Newcastle / Geordies? Of course we're the best (especially in terms of fans) but we don't need Tina Turner to scream that bollo@ks, the song is about as crass as as "We are the Champions" by Freddie the "fudge - packer".

I agree with Soft One, it's a disgrace!

I stand to be corrected but didn't Mark Knopfler write "Private (lap) Dancer" for the same Tina, maybe I could go for that?

:-7

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000