Summers almost over, schools are starting, and now it's time for that annual question about what you did on your summer vacation. I didn't take a real vacation but did take several long weekends to attend conventions and visit family. So, what fun and adventuresome things did ya'll do?

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

Answers

I had a fabulous time in beautiful, temperate New Mexico. It was so lovely that I can't bear to think about it now that I'm home and it's all hot and hectic here.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000

I didn't get a summer vacation, because I was taking a class. However, my final presentation is tonight, and fall term doesn't start 'til the last week of September. So...Thursday night I'm driving down to Baltimore for a long weekend with my mom. We're going to DC to see the Norman Rockwell exhibit on Friday, then we're going to spend Saturday and Sunday with some friends in Annapolis. Those friends are gourmet cooks, so Wonderful Food will be part of the weekend. After lunch with another set of friends on Monday, I'm returning home to spend two glorious days doing nothing but read and shop.

It's not that exciting, but, hey, it's the longest vacation I've had since 1996, and I'm happy.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000

I had SUCH big plans for the summer, but I've only managed to achieve a fraction of what I hoped, and it all started out so promisingly ...

After vacillating for what seemed like weeks, the research team I commissioned to do a feasibility study for my 'Jump Through the Centre of the Earth' theme park ride gave me the green light. Apparently, if you drilled a hole straight through the centre of the planet, and then jumped in, you would accelerate to terminal velocity, pass through the centre, and decelerate at exactly the same rate, allowing you to neatly step out on the other side (of course, if you failed to step out, you would merely yo-yo back and forth indefinitely). Which means that I can go ahead and build a ride which allows the paying punter to do just that - hurtle through the planet to a point diametrically-opposite the entrance.

Exciting innit!?

Work is now progressing on the ride: at the start of the summer, I invited many of the world's major cities to submit bids to host the project. Competition was fierce, and a number of cities were eliminated early on because they tried to bribe the judging team by offering drugs (Charlotte, NC) or sex (Winterthur, Switzerland) or those big crinkly mushrooms (Guangzhou, People's Republic of China). However, I've now managed to whittle down the remaining contenders and I can proudly announce that Omsk, Russia, is the winner - it was a tough decision, but at the end of the day, Omsk's superb location, excellent cultural facilities, and good existing transport links to, well, other places in Russia, swung the vote (the Omsk International Airport is also well-served by Aeroflot and other major international carriers, such as Tibet Air and Air Afghanistan). Plus they paid cash money (but don't tell the other contenders that).

The only problem with Omsk is the fact that the diametrically- opposite point on the face of the globe (where the other end of the ride would be located) is in the Pacific Ocean, a few hundred miles off the coast of Antarctica. I'm now doing a feasibility study on the possibility of erecting a custom-built island to house the other end of the ride, or alternatively, moving Omsk to somewhere more convenient.

All developmental suggestions gratefully received.

Similarly, if anyone knows how I can get rid of the molten core which the planet apparently has, that would be handy. Also, there's the problem about the earth's rotation - as my customers plummet through to the other side of the globe, I'm not keen for them to be buffeted about from side to side as the world turns. So - I'll have to stop the world spinning, potentially a big logistical problem. Again, all suggestions gratefully received.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000

We rented a cottage on an island for a week and it was really lovely. Of course when Gwen and a bunch of other people came to Toronto for a few days it was having a holiday at home.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000