In cases of females abusing males, where there are children in the home, what are the chances that the children will also suffer abuse. Are there any studies that show how often this occurs.

-- Anonymous, September 06, 2000

Answers

Yes, in my household there are children. The newborn at first, We were unable to get her children through INS( another story completely). She would beat me me for anything. Fro not doing anything in the house, for doing it the wrong way, for doing it at the wrong time. One time, I was taking care of the baby, playing, talking, having a grand time by ourselves. She came up and hit me with the remote control for the T.V. She said I was not holding the baby correctly and where was supper. She is a flake. I do not talk bad about her to the kids, I do not need to to. They aske 'Why is mom so mean to every one. I try and try to do things right, but I never seem to get it.' I tell them that they should do it the best they can and I will check their work, jobs, and homework, and I will tell them how well each did. Mom just has a hard time if it is not done the way she likes it, but do not worry, I will help you. It bothers the littlest, the most. The older daughter is hurt, but tries to ignore her. The son has turned into a juvenile deliquent. And I pray that she is hit by a truck.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 2000

Why do you stay in a situation that is harmful to you? You see that she is hurting your children indirectly with her actions so get yourself and your kids out of that bad situation.

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002

You ask ‘Why do I stay in a situation that is harmful to me and the children?’. It was and still is a difficult decision. When we were first going out, she once disappeared for 4 months. She said that some one was after her. I never did find out of that was true. And looking back I should had ran as fast as I could to get out of there. But I thought that I was in love. And I thought if I showed her enough love, kindnes and caring, I could get her to give love back to me. I had gotten out of a relationship in the previous year and that person had told me that I never tried at the relationship. I think I was trying to prove that I could make a relationship work. I should have gone with my instincts, they told me to get out quick. But I did not. After our child was born, things just got worse. She began hitting me and slapping me, even when I was taking care of the baby. It was my job to get up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby. I didn’t mind, because then I and the baby could talk. We talked for hours (until she would doze). My wife did not want her sleep disturbed. She became very violent if something disturbed her sleep. I now had a friend that I could tell anything to and talk to. My wife began to tell me how stupid, worthless, ignorant and lazy I was and htat nobody but she would ever find me of any use. She would only love me because she already knew how worthless I was. She began hittng me with anything in sight( shoes, remote controls, rolling pin, books. One night aI woke to find her sitting on my chest with a knife to my throat. She then told me how easy it would be to kill me. She would then disappear with Ruthie. And even if she was found, it would not do me any good, because I would be dead. I learned to sleep lightly. She once attacked me with a chainsaw and has hit me wiht the car. The police are worthless. They told me to get out of the house. They asked ‘Why didn’t I leave?’ I told them it was difficult to leave when someone is blocking the door out. The female officer said it was my fault because I must have done something wrong. I decided that they were stupid or only interested in being P.C. I have called the police about ten times and I am the only one that gets threatened with arrest. The police are cowards and PC idiots. I would not trust them to find their way out of a paper sack. And I would rather be able to slightly dull what my wife does to my daughter than not be able to do anything. Would you walk out of yourt children’s lives and leave them with a lunitic? That is what the police are telling me to do. Then I can be charged with abandonment. And lose all chance to have my daughter with me.

-- Anonymous, February 28, 2002